Demons

I feel that I have changed a lot the last six months. A prosess that can be both very painfull and sweet at the same time. I am trying to face my demons from the past and have managed so in a lot of cercomstances...stearing them directly in the face without running.
To not look back and move on, to say goodbye to the past can sometimes be very hard. Not because the past nesecarily is so wonderfull and sweet, but because one can have bonds that are not easily removed, unimportant if they are negative or positive.....
But nevertheless, the prosess itself has many beautiful and different phases.
This poem is one of my favourites by the swedish poet Karin Boye

Of Course It Hurts

Of course it hurts when buds burst.
Otherwise why would spring hesitate?
Why would all our fervent longing
be bound in the frozen bitter haze?
The bud was the casing all winter.
What is this new thing, which consumes and bursts?
Of course it hurts when buds burst,
pain for that which grows
and for that which envelops.

Of course it is hard when drops fall.
Trembling with fear they hang heavy,
clammer on the branch, swell and slide -
the weight pulls them down, how they cling.
Hard to be uncertain, afraid and divided,
hard to feel the deep pulling and calling,
yet sit there and just quiver -
hard to want to stay
and to want to fall.

Then, at the point of agony and when all is beyond
help,
the tree's buds burst as if in jubilation,
then, when fear no longer exists,
the branch's drops tumble in a shimmer,
forgetting that they were afraid of the new,
forgetting that they were fearful of the journey -
feeling for a second their greatest security,
resting in the trust
                   that creates the world.


~Karin Boye