Poetry
~ By Aasa

An own silence arrives
when my soul has been breaking
the waves.
A drop of dew in my heart
An unopened letter
The smell in the air before a rainstorm
The answer without a question

...

To not seek is to find
To not ask is to know
To not want is to have
Surrender everything and find it all

...

Longing

without wings
without escape
without eyes

Longing
without a face, a direction
silently, with no words

still deeper than the soul
reaching for
the unspoken
and
unknown

...

lengsel
uten vinger
uten flukt
uten øyne

lengsel alene
uten ansikt
men bare etter noe
jeg aldri vet hva er

...

Nå er fjorden speilblank og åpner tanken min
med et bløtt og brutalt risp
mot hjertet.
Jeg ser deg
stå der og vente.
Med alt jeg noensinne har ønsket meg.
Hva er jeg redd for?

I love the philosophy of the
Tao Te Ching


"No growt without assistance
no action without reaction
no desire without restraint
give yourself up and find yourself again

Tangible things have no permanence
there is nothing we can hold onto in this world
let go and possess what is real"

"If you want to become whole,
let yourself be partial.
If you want to become straight,
let yourself be crooked.
If you want to become full,
let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn,
let yourself die.
If you want to be given everything,
give everything up."

"When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever."


"Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner."

"Giving birth and nourishing,
having without possessing,
acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control"

"Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations."


"Practice not-doing,
and everything will fall into place."

"Look, and it can't be seen.
Listen, and it can't be heard.
Reach, and it can't be grasped.

Above, it isn't bright.
Below, it isn't dark.
Seamless, un-nameable,
it returns to the realm of nothing.
Form that includes all forms,
image without an image,
subtle, beyond all conception.

Approach it and there is no beginning;
follow it and there is no end.
You can't know it, but you can be it,
at ease in your own life.
Just realize where you come from:
this is the essence of wisdom."


Read more from the Tao Te Ching

Merry Xmas

Give a goat to a family in need

In our western society we have a huge pressure and focus on mass-consumerism.
Now in Xmas times, instead of giving to those who have everything, maybe we can give to those who have less, to somebody that actually need it...
World vision; give a present that counts
Gaver som forandrer verden
The 10 Principles of Greener Gift-Giving

The strenght of weakness

"Now I want you to listen to me closely. You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Do you understand? Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We have all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the power we choose to act on. That's who we really are."
- Sirius in Harry Potter

- I have felt one thing to be very true; the grandest of strengths is daring to accept personal weakness, in front of an other...but especially and maybe before the latter is even possible - to yourself...Give up the fight and see your humanity in the eyes, shatter the perfect image you strive for, dare to show hurt, vulnerability, all those feelings we in general try to hide so well, but still all carry somewhere inside.
But I guess this is something that needs to come from within...I just had it come to me strongly one day. I had of course heard people say it many times before, thought it sounded good and true, but it is a huge difference in understanding something with your head, and getting a understanding deep inside...like an answer that arises from the core of yourself.
Can life ever be about winning? Gaining power? Be the best one? Be the prettiest one? The smartest? The most desired? Well, of course yes, it will make you feel great, cause in that moment you feel it is overwhelmingly wonderful and strong. It is a feeling of pleasure and winning. But then it fades and you always need more. For some reason these things never last long, these outer "winnings" fade quickly, and one needs refill. It is an eternal chase because the feeling is there merely in the minute you achieve it. So you need it again. And in that way it never stops. You get into a circle of wanting more, which is like an endless spiral moving upwards and that makes you thirst more for every conquest. So, in a way you win, but in an other you loose, again and again and again and get more caught into the net the more you play it. Until one day, I imagine, you get to a place where this is the only things that matters to you, and that is what you live for...a true nightmare. You have forgotten the core of life.

I think you can win, but in the long run and in a totally different way...rather opposite actually. And this is the strongest battle your soul might ever win too. You can except defeat. You can give the battle over. You can unclench the fist that holds around power, success, beauty and all that, and give in to what we really are...human beings with weaknesses and strengths. We are not either or....we are.
I don´t mean to sounds like a preacher now, but maybe I do. I just had this come to me so strongly today and I just needed to express it in words. And maybe, give somebody else a spark of inspiration on the road they are walking too...who knows?

Merry Xmas everybody
Warm hugs
~ Åsa

Kan speilet tale

av Sigbjørn Obstfelder

"Kan speilet tale?

Speilet kan tale!

Speilet skal se på dig hver morgen,
forskende,
se på dig med det dybe, kloge øie,
- dit eget!
hilse dig med det varme, det mørkeblå øie:
Er du ren?
Er du tro?"

Longing and eternity

The following passage is from Smilla's sense of Snow, a 1992 novel by Danish author Peter Høeg. A strange mystery that involves a child's murder and an eeriey trip to Greenland. The book is also made into a film, casting Julia Ormond

Do you know what the foundation of mathematics is? ... The foundation of mathematics is numbers. If anyone asked me what makes me truly happy, I would say: numbers. Snow and ice and numbers. And do you know why?
Because the number system is like human life. First you have the natural numbers. The ones that are whole and positive. The numbers of a small child. But human consciousness expands. The child discovers a sense of longing, and do you know what the mathematical expression is for longing?

The negative numbers. The formalization of the feeling that you are missing something. And human consciousness expands and grows even more, and the child discovers the in-between spaces. Between stones, between pieces of moss on the stones, between people. And between numbers. And do you know what that leads to? It leads to fractions. Whole numbers plus fractions produce rational numbers. And human consciousness doesn't stop there. It wants to go beyond reason. It adds an operation as absurd as the extraction of roots. And produces irrational numbers.

It's a form of madness. Because the irrational numbers are infinite. They can't be written down. They force human consciousness out beyond the limits. And by adding irrational numbers to rational numbers, you get real numbers.

Because now, on the spot, we expand the real numbers with imaginary square roots of negative numbers. These are the numbers we can't picture, numbers that normal human consciousness cannot comprehend. And when we add the imaginary numbers to the real numbers, we have the complex number system. The first number system in which it's possible to explain satisfactorily the crystal formation of ice. It's like a vast, open landscape. The horizons. You head towards them and they keep receding.

Click here for a film clip of the mathematics scene.

Do we want to repeat history?

The American president Barack Obama
receives the Nobel peace price of 2009.

"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."
~George W. Bush (From a speech at the Dept. of Housing and Urban Development in Wash. DC, 6/18/02.)

"The instruments of war do have a role to play in preserving the peace"
~ Barack Obama (10/11/09)

According to Nobel's will, the Peace Prize should be awarded to the person who:
"shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses."


The Nobel committees choice for this years peace price is again making a ridicule of the symbolism of the price itself, when president Barack Obama entered the pantheon of Nobel Peace Prize winners. Just nine days after ordering 30,000 more U.S. troops into battle in Afghanistan, Obama delivered a Nobel acceptance speech that he saw as a treatise on war’s use and prevention. In his speeches, Obama refused to renounce war for his nation or under his leadership, saying defiantly that “I face the world as it is” and that he is obliged to protect and defend the United States. “To say that force is sometimes necessary is not a call to cynicism, it is a recognition of history,” he claims. And continues; “The belief that peace is desirable is rarely enough to achieve it.”
The speeches held by Obama concerning the war in Afghanistan is strangely alike those held of Bush to justify the war in Iraq. Back then the general crowd was cheering and agreeing the logic of war being necessary for the means of peace. We see the exact same thing happening now - Obama was in mostly welcomed and celebrated in the streets of Oslo. It took most people several years with casualties and damages before turning and going against Bush and the war in Iraq. Do we really need to go through all that one more time to open up our eyes? An other interesting thing about Obamas Nobel peace price speech is that it is not about peace, but it is more or less a defense speech for the war he is leading now. By sending another 30,000 U.S. troops to Afghanistan – on top of the 21,000 he dispatched last spring – this year's Nobel Peace Prize laureate will have tripled the American military presence there by the time the last of the reinforcements arrive in mid-2010.

While he has made some strides for international diplomacy, Obama was given the prize only a few weeks after his election. In awarding the prize to Obama, the Nobel panel cited his call for a world free of nuclear weapons, for a more engaged U.S. role in combating global warming, for his support of the United Nations and multilateral diplomacy, and for broadly capturing the attention of the world and giving its people “hope.” But the Nobel committee made its announcement in October when he wasn’t even nine months on the job, recognizing his aspirations more than some of the achievements he has done alter on.

So, maybe Barack Obama has a few achievements to show for so far, but if the price was presented to him after these deeds as well, would they be enough to overshadow two other important factors. One - the fact that Obama is in all his speeches justifying and now also escanning the war in Afghanistan with sending 30,000 more U.S. troops into battle.
And two - if we consider how many people who are working hard and has done so much for peace, it is an offense to give it to Barack Obama at this point. Mahatma Gandhi, the greatest symbol of peace and non-violence in the 20-th century, was carefully kept away from the Nobel Peace Prize till he died, despite decades of selfless hard work. In view of the length of time, the degree of suffering and the sheer bravery of the previous winners of this award, this is a terrible mistake. There are thousands of more worthy candidates out there, actually doing stuff, putting their life and well-being on the line. And they are also so much more needing of the attention the Nobels peace prize can give them to continue and uphold the efforts they are doing for peace. Obama is in no need of such attention, and it is very unlikely it will change his politics in any direction. The trouble is they're not a famous president.

What Obama gave to the world when he entered into office was hope. Hope for change in a world filled with war and injustice. He gave hope through words and speeches. To give promises of hope is all good and can give inspiration to many. But it does not qualify for a peace making politician. It is important to see the difference between words and action. Especially if the actions show themselves to be the opposite of some of these words. And so far, Obamas actions are not deserving of what this price symbolizes. So, one can then wonder what the foundation of a Nobel peace price now is grounded upon. Has the true symbolism of the Nobel Peace Prize lost it´s value?

Prior leaders that has been given the Nobel peace price:
Mother Teresa (1979)
14th Dalai Lama (1989)
Aung San Suu Kyi (1991)
Nelson Mandela (1993)

Like a tiny flower

Remember the little things that can make your days shine -
The color of a leaf, a smile from a stranger, the sun through your window,
a friend from the past returning to your life
These are the things that matter. The love that you give, the warm words that you share.
Why hold on to things that bring us down when we can pull ourselves up with positive words and smiles? Hold on to the good. Spread it around you, you will see how everybody is reaching out for it. I do believe all human just want the good deep down. If we just remember who we really are, we can forgive each other for the pain caused when we are not "good"
Many hugs to all of you out there.
- Aasa

Some videos

I just wan´t to sear some videos / sings I really like.
Hope you´ll enjoy :-)
..............

This is kick-ass beautiful. I cry every time I watch it.
Claire de lune (Debussy)


.................
What A Wonderful World
One of the most over-used yet most wonderful songs EVER!
That´s a man with vitality and voice, dude!!! RESPECT!
Enjoy and always remember - IT IS a wonderful world! ;-)
Louis Armstrong – What A Wonderful World

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.
What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

..............

An other classic that NEVER dies! And what a text!
(except I could do without the last line, too codependent, haah!)
Edith Piaf – Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien

Je ne regrette rien 
(I regret nothing)
Non ! Rien de rien
Non ! Je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait
Ni le mal, tout ?a m'est bien Úgal !
Non ! Rien de rien...
Non ! Je ne regrette rien
J'ai payÚ, balayÚ, oubliÚ
Je me fous du passÚ !

Avec mes souvenirs
J'ai allumÚ le feu
Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs
Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux !
BalayÚs mes amours
Et tous leurs trÚmolos
BalayÚs pour toujours
Je repars Ó zÚro...

Non ! Rien de rien...
Non ! Je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait
Ni le mal, tout ?a m'est bien Úgal !
Non ! Rien de rien...
Non ! Je ne regrette rien...
Car ma vie, car mes joies
Aujourd'hui, ?a commence avec toi !


I regret nothing
No, nothing at all, I regret nothing at all
Not the good, nor the bad. It is all the same.
No, nothing at all, I have no regrets about anything.
It is paid, wiped away, forgotten.
I am not concerned with the past, with my memories.
I set fire to my pains and pleasures,
I don´t need them anymore.
I have wiped away my loves, and my troubles.
Swept them all away.
I am starting again from zero.

No, nothing at all, I have no regrets
Because from today, my life, my happiness, everything,
Starts with you!
........
Then, an other classic. It is impossible to not move when listening to this song

MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE
The list below is continuously growing, as I am learning more about manipulative people every day through reading and interaction. So if you already have read it, you might benefit from re-reading. :-)
~ Åsa

Have you ever met a person that in one way or another can make you doubt yourself but you cannot explain why? Do you know somebody that just makes you feel that something is wrong, but you cannot pinpoint what it is? They make you feel bad, but they seem totally nice and even wonderful...Still being around them is in the end frustrating for you, but you still don´t know why. You have probably met a manipulative person.
- To call on and discover manipulative people before you get attached to them, can save you much trouble and suffering.

There are different degrees of manipulative people. At the end of the spectrum are those with a personality disorder called antisocial behavior. But the type of manipulative people I am gonna talk about here, however, are those you encounter in everyday life. They are people who function well socially, and stand out as completely normal people. They can actually very often be incredibly friendly and welcoming, positive and gentle. Anyway, they have a hidden agenda: to "win" over others.
There are many reasons for a person becoming a manipulative individuals. And there are also different aspects driving such a person. I am only going to mention a few examples here.
What can drive a manipulator can be a subconscious goal to feel better, or a need to "win", be in control or get their way. Their need for this can lie in different aspects. If they are more on the neurotic side it can be a low self esteem. And if they don´t feel in control, this low self esteem will surface. As long as they feel like they are the ones who are rejecting you, and not the opposite...as long as they feel that you want and need them, they are in control. They need to have the upper hand, cause if they feel like they don´t it will plunge them in the oposite direction. If they feel rejected or not wanted it can be very threatening. They need to feel above, if they are not, they see themselves as below and they will avoid this at any cost. When they avoid this they will not have to deal with their inner feeling of rejection and low self worth.
The other aspect that might drive a manipulative is a character disturbed personality, who just hasn´t developed enough conscience. Their primal drive is just a basic need to win or get their needs and desires met, and they have not developed a sense of responsibility for their deeds in getting there. Their feeling of guilt is underdeveloped. In other words they have no real developed empathy for other people, so they have no real concerns or guilt feelings about using manipulation to get the things they want. Other characteristics of manipulative people is that they often are unwilling to take responsibility, and will also avoid this by different means. A quick way to look at these two different aspects is: "A common saying among professionals is that "if a person is making everyone else miserable, he is probably character disordered. And if he is making himself miserable, he is probably neurotic."

This is why manipulative people can be extremely good at covering up their own agenda (and there are some manipulators that are not even aware of it themselves. These are normally children of manipulators, who have learned passively how to behave and never gotten aware of it consciously.)
Here are some pointers to manipulative behavior:

- Flipping the coin: A manipulator can gain control over you and escape responsibility by making you feel like you are the one with the problem and not them. Being around a manipulative person can be extremely distressful. Especially if they are good at masking up their own agenda and manipulative ways. In the end you might reach a level of frustration that ends in an emotional outburst after all the things they have put you through that you have endured. Then this tactics is often used by the manipulator to make you feel like you are the "crazy one". You had the emotional outburst, right? That it is stemming from their manipulative behavior never seem to come into consideration.

- Bagatelizing: Making your feelings or the issue you are taking up into issues of minor importance. This might be done actively by plainly saying so, or passively for instance by laughing or making a joke of it. A manipulator can state passively or directly that something is of minor importance, or that the issue or incident brought up was done with the best intentions from his/her side. Both methods will make the manipulator look as a better person. In the first example cause it makes the manipulated person feel like they are being hysterical and making something of minor importance into big issues. And in the last example, because their intentions "were good", the manipulated is brought to guilt because they are questioning them. These tactics might very often be followed up with some flatter, to make it look like the manipulator is not really criticizing you, but actually supporting you, something that will ensure you get even more guilt, and will not backfire on them for what they did to you in the first place.

- Denial: Tactics can be direct denial or passive denial. The latter can be made by behaving like they haven´t understood that they has done something that was not good. This also creates a lot of insecurity in the person that brought up the subject. They might get to a point where they start to question their own judgement and feelings, and therefore it is a very strong weapon in manipulating them further.

- Being vague: Being vague is a very typical manipulative trait, because manipulators avoid taking responsibility. If a manipulator is asked something they don´t want to answer, or don´t know the answer to, being vague is a method for them to keep control of the situation. Instead of saying the truth or "I don´t know" something vague with many interpretations comes out instead. To be vague is a way of not having to be responsible for what they have said. In the end, it might have been you who misinterpreted it all, right? So if or when the subject comes up, this can be played to their favour.

Giving warnings: A super way to ensure they will never have to take responsibility. Example: A person can say "I don´t want commitment or a relationship right now". Then after this initial warning they might act as they actually want one, even lead the other part emotionally and physically into it. This will give them all the benefits from it. Then, if the situation gets difficult or it is time for some responsabilities, they might pull out of it and bring back the initial warning they gave to escape responsibility. They can be extremely convincing about why they acted in a different manner after their initial warning. Maybe they were just swept away by their feeling? but they also told everything to you in the beginning? So in the end you are the responsible one, not them. So they can leave the situation feeling no responsibility for the damage they have done, even put it all on the other part. And this is basically what manipulative people are after, direct or passively. So this makes initial warnings quite a strong manipulative weapon. But if you know how to look out for it, you can get away from people using them before they do.

- Play innocent/ confused: To pretend like they don´t understand or even know what you are talking about is also a powerful way to get out of responsibility. They might even make you mistrust you own judgment and think you are the one who is doing something bad for accusing them of these things. To avoid the blame for something by pushing the feelings of guilt back on you.

- Ignoring: To just ignore what you said and move on to other subjects. Pretend they didn´t hear it / receive your mail / letter / message etc or the easiest way, to just bluntly ignore it and not answer at all. In this way they can make you insecure about the things you have said, and you will need much force to repeat it. Something they wish you will not, so they can avoid responsibility and confrontation.

-Take the role as a victim: by making themselves a victim they can make others feel guilty. Guilty for "accusing them" or anything similar. Making a victim feel worse will bring up a lot of guilt in a person, so a victim role is a good escape for confrontations.
An other benift from the victim role is getting compassion or pity from others. Both these examples can give them a passive control over other people.

- Blame others: Taking away focus from themselves by talking about others behind their backs. Seen in this light they may also appear good, because "they don´t do such things". It might also be a passive way of telling you you should never behave like the bad examples they are giving of the others. In other words, it might work as a passive warning or even threat. I.e: Taking about an ex wife and how she behaved. Maybe she showed them lack of interest or love. By telling you this, they are passively stating to you that you must never do the same, or even, that they need much attention and that you need to provide it. They are also showing themselves in the victim role of somebody else, and gets pity out of you, ensuring that you will not do the same to them if it works.
An other method in blaming others is stating that they are only protecting themselves / reacting to the other persons behavior. The others started it, they never did, they are only defending themselves or reacting to being maltreated. (Again they are avoiding responsibility)

- Lie: To lie about parts of the story or all of it. Manipulators are good liars and know well what things to tell you and what to hide. They can follow your reactions closely and play on it to win. Twist the situation after how you respond to it, and bend the truth to fit their stories.

- Distracting: To direct focus in an other area to take you away from the issue you are bringing up, so you will forget it.

- Make you feel guilty: A very powerful method that gives them total control of you and make them able to manipulate you even more. Many of the above tactics have this effect.

Are you interested in learning more about manipulative people and how to deal with them. Read the following book, I can really recommend it
- In sheep´s clothing: understanding and dealing with manipulative people.
- Other article about emotinal manipulation

Easy, yet thoughtprovoking(?) riddle

A father and his son is driving around in a horrible storm, the father looses control of the car and they crash into a tree. The father dies immediately.
The son is taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital. But when he arrives in the surgery-room the doctor calls out, "Oh, no, it is my son"
How is this possible?

Something to think about: Global dimming / global warming

Global dimming is a term describing the gradual reduction in the amount of sunlight observed reaching the Earth's surface since the 1950s.
The effect varies by location but globally is of the order of a 5% reduction over the three decades 1960-1990; the trend has reversed during the past decade. Global dimming creates a cooling effect that may have led scientists to underestimate the effect of greenhouse gases on global warming dimming may have caused large scale changes in weather patterns.
Climate models speculatively suggest that this reduction in sunshine at the surface may have led to the failure of the monsoon in sub-Sharon Africa during the 1970s and 1980s, together with the associated famines, caused by Northern hemisphere pollution cooling the Atlantic.
This is not universally accepted and is very difficult to prove.Some scientists now consider that the effects of global dimming have masked the effect of global warming, and that resolving global dimming may therefore have a major and previously unpredicted impact on temperatures and sea levels.
Initial work to incorporate the effects of global dimming suggest that world temperatures may rise by 2 °C by 2030, and as much as 10 °C by 2100; this is a doubling of the widely accepted figure of a 5 °C rise in global temperature this Century.
If this were to be so, such large increases would lead to the melting of the Greenland icecap, major reductions in the extent of tropicreinforcingsts, and significant rises in sea levels.
A further speculation is that such a rise in temperature would trigger a rapid and irreversible release of the huge deposits of methane hydrates currently locked beneath the ocean floor, releasing methane gas, one of the most powerful of the greenhouse gases.
A similar mechanism is one of the theories proposed to explain the Permian-Triassic extinction event approximately 252 million years ago, and the extinctions associated with the Paleocene-Eocene Thermal Maximum around 55 million years ago.
It is estimated that it took the planet as long as 100,000 years to recover to a "normal state" following the Thermal Maximum.

Our approach to life and what it can do to us
Internal locus of control.
Just a few thoughts.

"The mind that turns ever outward
Will have no end to craving.
Only the mind turned inward
will find a still-point of peace."
~ From the Tao Te Ching

Take Free Locus of Control Test

This is a matter of perspective and where you put yourself in relation to the people surrounding you and what happens in your life. A person with internal locus of control feel responsible for their overall position in life. It is a person who will not say things like "I failed my exam because it was hard" or "because the professor hates me". Instead they simply ask themselves - "what was done wrong this time in order to cause thit result? And "how can i prevent this from happening the next time?"

They will never say "I didn't find work because of the high unemployment in the country i live in", but instead they think of what more can be done to get them a better chance. To sum it up, these people do not ignore external life conditions, but they never hang the responsibility of their failure upon them, they never play the victim's role , they know that there is always something that can be done. (And if it is not, they fully accept it and move on, instead of identifying with the situation)

The opposite way of dealing - external locus of control, is the person who feels that things outside themselves move against them. In other words, they play the victim´s role, partly because they don't have any other explanation. They may hang their problems on god's will, bad economy, lack of luck or anything else, the common factor in the resonnement is that the reasons are outer and not internal. The person might be conciously unaware of this, but they take no own responsability for their life by this passive approach.

Making these things concious is the first thing one can do to change this approach to life, if you want to change it. And by becoming more aware of your own role and approach, you will also find that you overall will feel a lot more powerfull, happy and strong (Belive me - taking out of personal experience here)

If you feel that you have external locus of control, maybe it's the time to change some of the fake beliefs that caused you to have such a way of thinking? Be brave and look at yourself with brutal honesty.

~ Aasa

Locus of Control Test Results

Internal Locus (70%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by their decisions and internal drive. External Locus (30%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by genetics, environment, fate, or other external factors.

Take Free Locus of Control Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Hilarious.......
(A repost)

Artists erect giant pink bunny on mountain

An enormous pink bunny has been erected on an Italian mountainside where it will stay for the next 20 years.

The 200-foot-long toy rabbit lies on the side of the 5,000 foot high Colletto Fava mountain in northern Italy's Piedmont region.

Viennese art group Gelatin designed the giant soft toy and say it was "knitted by dozens of grannies out of pink wool".

Group member Wolfgang Gantner said: "It's supposed to make you feel small, like Gulliver. You walk around it and you can't help but smile."

And Gelatin members say the bunny is not just for walking around - they are expecting hikers to climb its 20 foot sides and relax on its belly.

The giant rabbit is expected to remain on the mountain side until 2025.

Astronomy facts

Binary stars:

Are made of two stars that are genuinely
close to each other and bound together
by mutual gravitational attraction.

The two stars orbit around a common center of mass.
For each star, the other is its companion star.
The components of binary star systems
can exchange mass, bringing their
evolution to stages that single stars cannot attain.




Hubble image of the Sirius binary system, in which
Sirius B can be clearly distinguished (lower left).

The Dracul
Just a few thoughts on symbolism and facing inner darkness
by Åsa
Click here to read

Deeper awareness of ourselves

A leap of faith
I was just reading Kierkegaard, and something he described really hit me. I recognize my life in it. To see yourself going through these things is quite striking.
I will post it here to share it with more of you, and if this can help anybody like it does for me , I would be very happy.
- Aasa

Kierkegaard, in "Sickness until death" analyzes despair as a disrelationship to the Self, to the source of being human.
For Kierkegaard there are three major forms of despair :
first, despair that is unconscious;
second, despair that is conscious and which manifests itself as weakness;
and third, despair which is conscious and manifest itself as defiance.

In the unconscious form of despair, the person is out of relation to the Self, but is unaware of it. Such a person, according to Kierkegaard, tends to live a hedonistic life, dispersed in sensations of the moment, having no commitment to anything higher than ego-impulses.
This is the stage of aestheticism and Don Juanism.
Here one can see a type of existence in which people not consciously realize they are in despair, although as Kierkegaard points out, the compulsiveness for infinite sensation and pleasure together with intruding dark moments of boredom and anxiety reveal that all is not well.

If the person allows the dark moments of boredom and anxiety to enter fully into consciousness, then comes the awareness of derelationship to the Self (Jung), and the feeling that one is too weak to choose the Self since that demands the acceptance of one´s strength to make that decision.
Here the person despairs over weakness to commit to something higher than ego-impulses.
But if the person penetrates more consciously into the reason for weakness, then comes awareness that the excuse of weakness was really only a way of avoiding the strength already there.
What the person originally took to be weakness is now understood to be defiance, i.e.,a refusal to commit!
For Kierkegaard,the despair of defiance is a higher consciousness, a realization that one has the strength to choose the Self, or in his terms, to make the leap of faith which requires acceptance of the uncontrollable and transcendent, but that one chooses not to do so in dark defiance against the powers which transcend reason and man´s finitude.

In defiance, one refuses to change! in the despair of defiance, one refuses possibility and infinitude. In the despair of weakness, one refuses actuality and finitude. To refuse one is to refuse both.
Those caught in the despair of weakness need to become aware of their strength and shake of their victim identity. Those who control need to see how control can be a false strength and to value the openness to what cannot be controlled.

For Kierkegaard, resolution and transformation come ultimately when despair in all stages is overcome through a leap of faith. In this leap one accepts at the same time one´s weaknesses and one´s strength, the inter mixture of the finite and the infinite realms in being human, and the realization that human beings must move between the opposites rather than identifying with an absolute.
...
The famous psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung also had similar thoughts on the last stage of this inner journey. He thought that the life of each person was a complex and mysterious whole. But the particular course of their development coming from personal family experiences, cultural influences, and innate temperament, tended to lead a person to emphasize one part of the personality and to de-emphasize the conflicting part

Yet, that other opposing, unaccepted side was there wanting to be acknowledged and often intruded upon the consciously accepted side, affecting the person´s behaviour and disturbing his or her relationships.
Jung thought the task of personal growth was to see the value of both sides and to try to integrate them so that they could work together in a fruitful way for the person.

The dance of the vounded souls

A re-post from 2006, for new readers to enjoy
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He was...
a painful sweet taste, a sudden brush of a dreaming wind,
a sight behind shimmering eyelids, and a rush of soft smells to her senses.

He was a flickering picture, water running through her mind.
A thought she yearned to posses, but never wanted to own, never

He was a touch, a distant color yet to be seen, an unopened dream,
a wish, a longing, a desire
to strong to ever be fulfilled.

He was too much,
too far away in her mind
from himself
from her
and she knew it.....again



Love Addiction consists of two components:
Romance and / or Sexual Addiction.

Love addiction is a condition common for many adults that once were abandoned children, emotionally or physically abandoned. It might spread from dependency on only romance or sex, to a mix of both components. What was common for these children was the suffering of not feeling deeply loved and accepted in a healthy way, with a support to reach individuality, strength and selflove from the parent/s. Maybe the parents needed them to much (codependency) or never really saw them. This might have been founded in the reason that these parents never got that love and support in childhood either, and so they didn´t have it in them to pass it on, no matter how much they wanted to, and in their way might have loved the child.

Sex and love addicts often don´t realize their problem or seek help before in total crisis (divorce, painful emotional breakdowns etc) and some times not even then. Normally they will try to get out of crisis through controlling their pattern in their own way. Altering the behavior or trying a new pattern. This is just like the alcoholic swapping beer for wine and will never help in the long run.
As the addicted can derive some pleasure out of their pattern, they will also cling to it as much as they can. The state of addiction involves a lot of denial of own feelings, so in the addicted state of mind, the person will likely not be aware of his/her own pattern, but will be tricked by their mind to believe they are perfectly in their right to behave as they do.
So if you feel this might apply to you in any way at all, please keep on reading and keep an open mind. It might change your life.

Sex and love addiction can involve many different antics; it may be a strong desire to have sex, masturbate, watch porn. It might be an urge to flirt, have affairs / relations or just create romantic situations and connections. Or it might even be a pattern to fall into romantic situations that always leaves you feel hurt or vounded, always ending up in situations where love brings suffering to you.
All these things is normal for every human, but enters a non-healthy state when the person in fact cannot be without these attachments. When being alone for a long periode of time without these elements is difficult to a stronger degree, and brings up emotions as anxiety and the feeling of withdrawal pangs.
If a person has entered a later state of addiction, his/her behavior might start to get out of control and even to have negative impact on their life quality. Other tasks as work, health or important things that are essential to have a rich, fullworthy life, are set aside to give room for the addition. The addiction takes in other words the main role of that persons life, and this is a spiral that only increases with time. Being a sex and / or love addict means your desires for these things are significantly impinging on your life in a negative way. These feelings and behaviors cause a great deal of shame, hopelessness and confusion for the addict.
The addicts might often engage in distorted thinking, often rationalizing and justifying their behavior or blaming others for problems. They generally deny they have a problem and make excuses for their actions, which for them might seem perfectly healthy and good. This despite it being an unmanageable problem in the addict's life. The reason might be the that to realize the addiction involves a mayor life change that also threatens the identity that the addicted has built up for her/himself. And it also involves facing the difficult feelings of non-worth and pain that is disguised by the addiction and also in that way changing a habit that makes them feel safe and good. As long as they feel good, and get their addiction, they don´t want to change.
Change often comes just when they have reached rock bottom and suffering enters their life at a high level, because of their actions. So it might take might take years and years of addiction and abuse to enter that state of mind, where recovery is wanted.
Sexual addiction might also be associated with risk-taking. In addition to damaging the addict's relationships and interfering with his or her work and "normal" life, a sexual addiction also puts other people and themselves at risk for emotional or physical injury (not using protection during sexual intercourse etc)
These behaviors naturally makes it extremely difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships, and normally a love/sex addict has no real feeling of what a healthy relationship is actually based on. They have never gone to the depths or experienced real love and commitment. They were not really given it as a child, and they never learned it as adults. Their way were the made kinda of love, the perverted copy of it.

But the first step is facing the addiction, and in that way also starting the path to a healthy life, where loving relations both to the self and others are possible.

Signs and Characteristics of Sex and / or Love Addiction:

# Lack of nurturing and attention when young
# Feeling isolated, detached from parent/s and or family
# Compartmentalization of relationships from other areas of life
# Seek to avoid rejection and abandonment at any cost
# Perceive attraction, attachment, and sex as basic human needs, on a par with food and water
# Insatiable appetite in area of difficulty (sex, love or attachment / need.)
# Inner (conscious/subconscious) rage over lack of nurturing, early abandonment
# Outer facade of "having it all together" to hide internal disintegration
# Mistake intensity for intimacy or love
# Hidden Pain
# Powerlessness over addictive sexual behavior.
# Resulting unmanageability of his/her life.
# Feelings of shame, pain, and self-loathing.
# Failed promises and attempts to stop acting out (seeking the stimuli of romance/sex).
# Preoccupation with sex leading to ritual.
# Tendency to leave one (sexual/romantic)relationship for another.(No real time alone)
# Afraid to trust anyone in a relationship
# Sense of worthlessness without a relationship or partner/s
# Escalating tolerance for high-risk behavior
# Intense need to control self, others, circumstances
# Presence of other addictive or compulsive problems (food, alcohol etc)
# Using others, sex & relationships to alter mood or relieve emotional pain
# Continual questioning of values and lifestyle
# Confusion of sexual attraction with love ("Love" at first sight.)
# Tendency to trade sexual activity for "love" or attachment
# Existence of a secret "double life"
# Refusal to acknowledge existence of problem
# Defining "wants" as "needs"
# Attempts to replace lost relationships/sexual encounters with new ones immediately

Many of these symptoms are also elements of codependency and intimacy dysfunctions resulting from childhood abandonment, emotional or sexual abuse. For this reason treatment and therapy for Love Addiction often includes trauma recovery work. Read what others have to say about love addiction.

Check yes or no to the self test presented on this page. A high number of yes would indicate romance/sex addiction. Remember that romance can be a delightful part of our love relationships and bring out the best in us. It is when we have become over-identified with this experience that it hurts a person.

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How is sexual/romantic addiction treated?

Most addicts live in denial of their addiction, and treating an addiction is dependent on the person accepting and admitting that he or she has a problem. In many cases, it takes a significant event—such as the loss of a job, the break-up of a marriage, an arrest, or health crisis—to force the addict to admit to his or her problem.

Support groups and 12 step recovery programs for people with addictions (like SLAA; Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) have been proven very helpful. This program is designed to help the individual come through a recovery process on his own, but at the same time through the support and knowledge of the group. The goal is to stop the self-destructive patterns and find a life that is grounded in healthy living and selflove.

Find an SLAA meeting in your city

SLAA litterature

The healing of sex/love addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality, sense of relating and self. Treatment can also include education about healthy sexuality, individual counseling, and marital and/or family therapy.

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