Monday, March 17, 2014

Building healthy relationships

The following is from A Conscious Person's Guide to
Relationships

Involvement, Yes;
Addiction, No.

To get the most from your relationship, you'll find it helpful to distinguish between involvement with a person and addiction to being with the person. Let's define these two terms. Involvement means "l share my life with you." Addiction means "l create the experience in my mind that I in one way or another need you. You provide me with a feeling I want and therefore I need you in my life. Without you I cannot find this to the same degree"

Involvement means spending some good time together. Addiction can have many ways of showing itself in a relationship. It can mean creating emotion-backed demands in my head that dictate what my partner should say and do -- in other words "ownership." Bascially, you do not love the person, but who the person COULD be if they changed. It can mean a need to constantly be around my partner, or to give total focus on them and not myself. This will fill the void of other feelings I might have. It might fill my conscious or unconscious needs not met by myself. Or it can be an easy way for my to escape depression or other feelings I do not want to deal with. Addiction has many faces, but what it has in common is the unbalanced way it presents itself. It does not set a base for a healthy, balanced, true relationship between people, no matter the nature of the relation (Friend, lover or companion).
Involvement means that I choose to share of my life with my beloved and build a mutual reality together based on trust and openness. It means seeing the other person for who they are and following the natural flow of energy that flows between us. Of letting go and of coming back. Of giving room and space to yourself and to find together in closeness. Addiction means that I feel insecure without someone, or something (Sex, attention, flirt, companionship, or something else) -- l want him or her to save me. I don`t want to do without this in my life no matter what it costs me or if I get it from people who are not good for me.
A natural involvement gives me the opportunity to experience all of the beautiful, loving things that a relationship can bring into my life. It also lets us shoulder together the responsibilities and problems of life and develop a mutual trust. Addiction opens a can of worms that makes me tarnish the beauty of my relationship. It makes me impose a lot of emotion-backed models of how my partner, friend or lover should be for me to let myself be happy. It also puts a great deal of pressure on my partner,- through addiction I place my hopes and dreams on the other person for them to carry. It is not hard to understand that such a burden is not healthy for anyone to put on their shoulders.

Since a balanced involvement offers us the deeper enjoyments of a relationship, and addiction leads to misery in a relationship, let's look more closely at how involvement and addiction interact. It's possible to have a relationship in which there is:

1. Maximum involvement and maximum addiction.
2. Minimum involvement and maximum addiction.
3. Minimum involvement and minimum addiction.
4. Maximum involvement and minimum addiction.


Since these four possibilities create varying degrees of heaven or hell in a relationship, let's find out how you can set up your relationship so that it can be as heavenly as possible.
But first, remember that I am talking about your own involvement and your own addictions. It does not refer to what your partner says or does. Instead it puts the spotlight on how you are
operating your head. And this is good news. Any approach to getting the most out of life that depends on manipulating or changing another person is ultimately doomed to fail. But when you know how to succeed within yourself, you have all the aces in your hand. Actually it's only your mental habits that stand between you and your continuous enjoyment of the melodrama of your life.

Let's look at setup number one -- maximum involvement with maximum addiction. In this state you have deeply involved your life with the life of another person. You are living with your partner, and are usually with him or her many hours each day. You are addicted to being with this person. You have "territorial" feelings toward your beloved; you have many emotion-backed demands of how this person should act to fit your models. We often call this situation "romantic love." Once the romance is killed by addictions, what's left is just "possessive love."

Romantic or possessive love is unstable and tends to be emotionally explosive. Frequently heard are such statements as "lf you really loved me you would . . . ." (fill in your addictive demand). This romantic possessive aspect of the maximum involvement and maximum addiction phase keeps you yo-yoing up and down. You're very happy when things are fitting your addictions; you're very unhappy when they aren't. And in this phase, love is highly conditional. I love you when you meet my addictive models, and I'm rejecting you when you don't. Romantic or possessive love can create beautiful feelings at times. But it is a bumpy road-often with a washout at the end.

Now let's look at what happens when you have minimum involvement and maximum addiction. This is when the tears get to flow in your soap opera. It's usually called "broken heart." Minimum involvement means that you do not spend much time (or any time) with the other person, but you're still creating the experience that your happiness depends on being with him or her. Minimum involvement and maximum addiction sets you up for triggering disillusionment, cynicism, anger, resentment and the whole Pandora's box of separating emotions. Although you're not involved in living together, your mind can still produce an intense experience of jealousy.

A third type of situation occurs when there is minimum involvement and minimum addiction. It's often called "good friends." Since minimum involvement means that you're not spending much time together, you're not tuning in to the richer veins of human experience that more involvement offers. However, you're not creating a lot of stuff either, since your mind is not playing out heavy addictions about how the relationship should be. With minimum involvement and minimum addiction, your relationship is generally a light and pleasant one.

It's the fourth state that gives you all of the goodies of a deep relationship and none of the unhappiness. This is characterised by maximum involvement and minimum addiction. In this state, you consciously enjoy the relationship and realistically play the relationship "game". By having the opportunity to more deeply participate in each others thoughts and feelings, you have the greatest opportunity to create all of the beautiful sharing that the relationship can bring you. And yet by minimising your addiction, you do not keep the here-and-now muddied up with emotion-backed demands that your partner say and do things differently.

In this ideal state, your love is less and less conditional. You can communicate with your partner and tell him or her what you prefer in the relationship. But you quickly work on yourself to handle any addictions you are creating that can chip away at your feelings of love. You get to cooperate in the great adventure of life together and to contribute to each others well-being. Here's a chart that can be helpful in sorting out how involvement and addiction interact to determine the quality and quantity of your relationship.


INVOLVEMENT ADDICTION WHAT'S HAPPENING

Maximum Maximum Full drama

Minimum Maximum Broken Heart

Minimum Minimum Friends

All the Goodies
Maximum Minimum No Unhappiness

The importance of working on your addictions is spotlighted by what I'm going to call the "law" governing relationships: IF YOU DON'T HANDLE YOUR ADDICTIONS, YOU'LL AUTOMATICALLY DECREASE YOUR INVOLVEMENT. From this it follows that to maintain a high level of involvement or to increase your involvement, you must handle your addictions. Now you've got some keys to living "happily ever after" -- used them if you want to ;-)

Want to look more into this?:
Recommended book
Video clip:


Monday, July 22, 2013

Lost comments

UPDATE: I am trying out the instructions here:
http://www.ellenshapiro.com/blog/2010/02/so-you-want-to-move-your-comments-from-haloscan-to-blogger/
but I cannot seem to do it. Basically because the instructions are not updated to the programs.
Anybody with a clue that possibly could help me?

I am a bit sad. I swapped comment service for my blog, and all the comments that has ever been made in this blog is now deleted forever. New comments from now on will stay, but the old ones are still gone. Maybe I can retrieve them, but I don't know how.
I think the file that contain all the comments is an XML file. The blog service that I used before was called Echo: (Link to Echo)
If anybody has a clue, I would be extremely grateful for help or suggestions.
Sad me
- Åsa

Update: I have the comments in an XML file: aasaaaaaaaaaaa.blogspot.com-comments.xml
but I don't know how to export them to Blogger. If anybody knows I am happy about any kind of help :-)

Sunday, May 12, 2013

A few things...
...that are not very common anymore...

To be alone
...
To be alone outside - To be alone in nature
To be alone without entertaintment - To be alone in silence

The pure joy of just living

~ Aasa

Monday, April 08, 2013

Longing and eternity

The following passage is from Smilla's sense of Snow, a 1992 novel by Danish author Peter Høeg. A strange mystery that involves a child's murder and an eeriey trip to Greenland. The book is also made into a film, casting Julia Ormond

Do you know what the foundation of mathematics is? ... The foundation of mathematics is numbers. If anyone asked me what makes me truly happy, I would say: numbers. Snow and ice and numbers. And do you know why?

Because the number system is like human life. First you have the natural numbers. The ones that are whole and positive. The numbers of a small child. But human consciousness expands. The child discovers a sense of longing, and do you know what the mathematical expression is for longing?

The negative numbers. The formalization of the feeling that you are missing something. And human consciousness expands and grows even more, and the child discovers the in-between spaces. Between stones, between pieces of moss on the stones, between people. And between numbers. And do you know what that leads to? It leads to fractions. Whole numbers plus fractions produce rational numbers. And human consciousness doesn't stop there. It wants to go beyond reason. It adds an operation as absurd as the extraction of roots. And produces irrational numbers.

It's a form of madness. Because the irrational numbers are infinite. They can't be written down. They force human consciousness out beyond the limits. And by adding irrational numbers to rational numbers, you get real numbers.

Because now, on the spot, we expand the real numbers with imaginary square roots of negative numbers. These are the numbers we can't picture, numbers that normal human consciousness cannot comprehend. And when we add the imaginary numbers to the real numbers, we have the complex number system. The first number system in which it's possible to explain satisfactorily the crystal formation of ice. It's like a vast, open landscape. The horizons. You head towards them and they keep receding.


Click
here for a film clip of the mathematics scene.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

All the colours will bleed into one, dikt

It was something in her that she had always carried, a longing, a deep nameless desire that always followed her. And a some times through her life it would have a name, it would smother itself like an ocean towards a cliff, licking its salty shores. But could somebody ever meet this deep, dark desire? Could it ever be fulfilled?
She didn´t know where it came from, maybe from hidden layers in her past she didn´t know about, feelings created in a warm, secret dream from childhood. Hiding in dark misty forests, trying to capture fairies and trolls. She had never left those forests, and likely she never would. Her creatures, colors and sparkling inner waters would always stay with her. She would dream, dream, dream and then dream some more. Pushed and edged on by this endless longing she couldn´t name.




I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

I have climbed the highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you.
I have run, I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her finger tips
It burned like fire
(I was) burning inside her.
I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
I believe in the Kingdom Come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one.
But yes, I’m still running.
You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross of my shame
Oh my shame, you know I believe it.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
~ U2

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Do you control your thoughts, or do your thoughts control you?

Remember, life as it appears to us can have so many hues and colors, and this is only one version of it. The world is a wondrous and playful place - So take it or leave it (as your truth or not) as you like. And thank you for taking time and interest!
:-)
- Åsa


- "Most people are so completely identified with the voice in the head — the incessant stream of involuntary and compulsive thinking and the emotions that accompany it — that we may describe them as being possessed by their mind. As long as you are completely unaware of this, you take the thinker to be who you are." - Eckhart Tolle

- "The thinker of thought is also a thought, believed in - which is identity" - Mooji

"The ultimate truth of who you are, is not I am this or I am that, but I am" - Eckhart Tolle

"Your identity is made by ... your deep, driving desire. As is your desire, so is your will. As is your will, so is your deed. As is your deed, so is your destiny. - Brihadaranyaka Upanishad




Human beings are the only species with the ability to analyze our own existence; we have the ability of thought. The paradox of this gift is that we often forget the purpose of thought,- a tool, an instrument to use as a help to support us in life. Instead we start to take it as the reality, the reality of ourselves and our surroundings - we are our thoughts. If you feel you believe this to be true, or maybe don`t understand what it means, please try this little experiment before reading on:
Can you take one step back and just listen to your thoughts? What is being "said"? Have you heard any of these things said somewhere else in your life before? Take a few minutes and close your eyes and just observe and listen to your thoughts. What do they say? What are the words? Could you write some of them down?
Now, when you are done,- don´t answer the following question with words, but try to feel the answer within; When you were listening to your thoughts, who was the listener? If you are observing your thoughts, who is the observer?
"The greater part of most people's thinking is involuntary, automatic, and repetitive. It is no more than a kind of mental static and fulfills no real purpose. Strictly speaking, you don't choose to think; Thinking happens to you. The statement “I think” implies volition. It implies that you have willfully chosen to think what you think (or that you think in the first place). For most people, this is not yet the case. “I think” is just as false a statement as “I digest” or “I circulate my blood.” Digestion happens, circulation happens, thinking happens.
The voice in the head has a life of its own. Most people are at the mercy of that voice; they are possessed by their thinking and its repetitive, unconscious content. This circular, repetitive, incessant thinking is conditioned by the past, and it keeps you trapped in the past. It is as though you continue to relive the past over and over again. 

Do you ever wonder why the same problems challenge you throughout your life? Your unconscious mind is re-creating them, but you don't even know it."What we think also create our reactions and our reactions create interaction that produces our experiences of life and our surroundings. We are caught in our own net, and therefore we are caught in not really seeing ourselves, each other, and the world as it truly is. We don't think of this as something to control or even question, but as something that just comes to us, like a pile of snow falling from a rooftop onto our heads.Life just happens to us - we don´t do life.

Control is also often associated with something negative or forced, so we avoid the issue, dismissing it as being "unnatural".
Like this we never learn how to really love or understand; we see people through the interpretations of our mind; as Plato's shadows of their real self, cast upon a cave wall. We end up being reactions to our mind and its stories. We believe them, and they control our lives, our way of thinking, acting and feeling; who we become. We sit in the boat of our life, but let others steer its course.
To be free from this way of living and perceiving has for me become one of the cornerstones in life. Here I will try to describe as best as I can what I have gone through to try and reach a clearer state of experiencing the outer world and myself, the stages that occur and the methods I have used to approach it. Hope this can give you something, as it has helped me more than I can put into words. Enjoy!
- Aasa

In the search to discover your true self and your relation to thought, there can be many ways. Here is one way, divided into different stages.

1: You are your thoughts: You haven't considered to question your thoughts, you are them. If somebody is mad at you (or any other feeling), you get triggered and react back with thought and or feeling. If someone feel good about you, you automatically also feel good about yourself and about them. And the opposite; If you feel bad you think bad. If you think bad you feel bad. - It is a circle that repeats itself, and you follow it like a shadow the way it leads you. What you think control how you act, how you feel, who you are, your life is in the control of your projections.

An example of this reacting pattern:

Somebody has said something that has hurt me and touched off a fight. At first, I am caught up in feeling hurt--my body aches and my mind is swarming with painful thoughts and associations. I don't like to feel this way, so I start to react against it. Yet the more I struggle with it, the more I become entangled and stuck to it. I start to tell myself stories that only intensify my pain: "This person will never understand me," "She/he likes to attack me, she/he`s too aggressive,"Maybe I need to leave this person,". Each of these stories touches off further reactions in me, and the more I get caught up in my reactions, the more I lose touch with what is really happening.
If I plunge into the story-"She/he likes to attack me, that's just the way she/he is"-I may then do something to get back at the person or I may decide to close myself off to her/him. Yet both of these defensive reactions only complicate the situation further because they are not accurate responses to what is really going on. In other words, when I react like this, with a story in my mind, I actually have no idea at all what is really going on. I have fabricated a reality of who that person is to defend myself from feeling "bad feelings". And this I have done through believing in my thoughts and the stories they tell me. To find out what is going on, I must put aside my stories and bring some fresh awareness into the situation.

2: You question your thoughts: To regain awareness I need to step back from the whirlwind of my reactions. Although this may take some practice at first, it is always possible because the nature of awareness is mobile and fluid.
If you are starting to take a closer look at your thoughts, ask yourself this question:
Can my thoughts be a product of what I have learned through life and made my mind up to be? Are your thoughts fragments you have picked up on the road of your life and puzzled together to the whole that now makes up what you now call "you". Maybe you have taken these words (and sentences) from parents, friends, enemies, everything you met on your way, but most often not consciously. They just attached themselves to you and unaware (or maybe even sometimes aware), you adopted them, like little orfan voices in your mind. If you really manage to see and feel this clearly, it can make you understand yourself better and also that you are the one who have chosen, consciously or subconsciously your thoughts and in the end who you wanted to be. These thoughts are numerous and can be anything from "I am not deserving of xxx". "Why do I never find a happy relationship", "Why are bad things always happening to me?", "Why am I not xxx enough?", "I will never be good enough at x", "I need x or x to be happy", "I am not happy" Etc, etc, etc.
If you often are stuck with thoughts like this, you might also choose a special way of seeing life to support your thought choices. This selective perception will make your chosen thoughts seem even more real to you. E.g: If you believe in the thought "bad things always happen to me", every time a bad thing happen, this is what you will put emphasis on. When good things happen, you overlook them, and still keep your focus on the bad issues that happened before. An other example; Lets say you believe in the thought "I always get rejected". In interacting with others you will then very often look for rejection, because you fear it. What we try to avoid is often what stays alive in our mind. Then we search for it in fear of getting it. You will interpret rejection where it actually in reality it is non-existing. Maybe you even become needy in your fear of getting rejected. You are reacting as if you were rejected already, and in this stage real rejection will of course come to you. You are so trapped in your own story of being rejected, that you are making it come true. In this way, your thought becomes and supports your perceived reality.
The good thing about all this is, if you have chosen your thoughts, they are not who you are, they are only just a choice you have made and stuck with. And you can now, when and if you see this clearly, start to choose in a new way.

3: Observing your thoughts: Now that you are aware of your thoughts being in you, but not you, you can start to listen to them. This listening is not the way of listening you used to do before, taking them for the truth about yourself, others and life. Now you can look at them as something that is just babbling inside your head. ;-) (This can be a very funny stage, cause you might realize the absurdity of your thoughts, and also the slliness of taking them for the truth)
Now you have managed to take a step back away from your thoughts. You have realized they are not you and that you don't have to listen to them. You are observing them. (Again look at the question from before;"If I am observing my thoughts, how is the observer?" Try to deeply feel the wordless answer inside you and stay with it,- Be the observer)
Now start looking at your thoughts even closer:
Lets say you are mad at your girlfriend because you don´t think she gives you enough love. Write down the thoughts you have, and don´t be shy. Dont make them prettier or censor them. Let the angry, sad voice inside express exactly what is there and write it all down.
Then ask yourself this question: Is it true? In the example I used, the man would have to go deep inside himself and ask himself, is it true that my girlfrined doesn´t give me enough love? And is it true that she should give me more love? Maybe the answer is yes, maybe no. The importance is to really try to find what your true answer is and get in touch with the deeper truth inside of yourself. Disconnect with all the things you have been taught to be true; "We should do this, we should do that" The fact is that very often we don´t. The world is as it is- this is the reality, this is the truth. Trying to change it by making up a story of how it is not, but should be, only closes you up to reality. Find the true answers.
Then after this, go even deeper into the question and ask yourself. "Can I absolutely know that it is true?" Nobody is asking you to come up with a certain answer or force you to make a given one. Ask yourself.
When your have connected with your answer, whatever it is, try to feel out this one: How does it make you feel when you belive that it is true? How do you behave towards the other person in question? And how does behaving like that make you feel? How do you behave towards yourself and others when you belive this story to be true? Do you like the way you behave then? Do you like how it makes you feel?
Then try an other cenario? How would you be without the thought? How would you feel? How would you behave towards the person in question if that thought was impossible to think? Can you see any reasons to drop that thought?
Now, quite often thoughts we have about others can be projections of our inner minds and what we really should look and work on on ourselves. Havent you ever seen the totally homophobic guy and wondered if maybe he is actually gay and that is why he is reacting so strongly? Or wondered why someone was so angry and mad at others for doing the exact same thing they were doing themselves? Our mind often just gets reality backwards. We project our inner world onto others and don´t see that it´s really about ourselves.
So, try now and flip your thought around. lets take the the example of the man who didnt think his girlfriend loved him enough. "I dont think my girlfriend gives me enough love" If we turn it around it will be "I dont give my girlfrined enough love". And wouldnt that be more true in a way? He wants to demand her to behave in a certin way that he sees as loving. Maybe he doesnt even know her and that she really expresses her love in ways he overlooks? He demands that she should love him more? Is that really to be a loving person? Maybe when he belives the thought that she doesnt give him enough love he closes himself off to her and gets snarky and angry at her. Now the statement, "I should give my girlfrined more love" maybe starts to sound more true than "She should give me love". And there is an other way this thought can be turned around as well. "I need to give myself more love" That might be even truer. He demands love from her, but does he feel it in his own heart? And does he truly express it to himself and her? And in the end, who can really know what is good for us in the long run? Maybe he even would learn something valuable and good because he thought she didnt give him love, or maybe it would even be good for him if she left him and something else came into his life? What is the deeper good is not possible to see in the moment from the narrow stand and view we have. So,- "My girlfriend needs to give me more love" Is it true?
Or maybe your thought is, "I am not loved". "Nobody gives me love" try to turn it around. "I dont love myself" "I dont give myself love" Stop looking outside. Everything you really need you have right in front of you :-)
So, give it a shot and test out your thoughts and beliefs. They might not be as true as you first think when they are not looked at or really examined by yourself and your deeper wisdom.
There are also other ways you can unravel the real truth behind your noisy thoughts. You can start with asking yourself some other simple questions to test the reality of them.
As in the exersise before, when you are taking a step back and listening to your thoughts; are you aware that you are thinking, that awareness is not part of thinking. It is a different dimension of consciousness. This awareness is the real you. It is the silent awareness of “I am.”
If there were nothing but thought in you, you wouldn’t even know that you were thinking. You would be like a dreamer who doesn’t know he is dreaming. You would be as identified with every thought as the dreamer is with every image in the dream. Many people still live like that, like sleepwalkers, trapped in old dysfunctional mindsets that continuously recreate the same nightmarish reality. When you know you are dreaming, you are awake within the dream,- another dimension of consciousness has come in.

4: Release yourself from your thoughts:
While observing your thoughts, you might find a consciousness or being in yourself that is other than thought. (If you observe your thoughts, you have already entered the new consciousness of not being your thoughts.) Practice this first alone, with closed eyes. Just be in this You that is the observer of your thoughts and stay with the experience.
So now, instead of continuing to be tossed around in turbulent reactions, you can let your new gained awareness and observation move back and forth from them, and simple acknowledge the whole scale of emotions and words they produce. (Emotions are most often products of the thoughts you are making). Dont try to make the thoughts go away,- they never will. Thoughts are like waves in the ocean, they are there. but just observe them, look at them.
When you do this, it is as thought you step out of a blazing fire that is consuming you, and sit down next to it instead. Once you create some space for yourself you are no longer trapped in its flames. You can then allow the fire to be there as it is, without having to resist it. You will still feel its heat, but it no longer burns you alive. In other words, when you can make space for you feelings and thoughts to be there, and when you can be present with your awareness "next to them", "On the edge of them" you find your balance and awareness of being.
This brings relief and peace of mind. You are no longer stuck in the oppositional struggle, you no longer are your thoughts or the feelings they produce (more about feelings and how they are created), you watch them. You have found an other you deeper inside yourself. It also brings deeper clarity,-you can simply recognize that you are hurting/being sad/happy etc , without becoming so embroiled in the drama around it. You have more freedom of movement because you are not caught in reacting against the pain of thoughts or feelings produced by thoughts. And in taking this position, you feel more stability and strength.
(Don`t think about how to do this, because that is just an other thought, and your thoughts will try to be in control of you all the time when you are trying out these things - That is their function. So don't think about it, just observe and be in the observing experience and let it fill you. In other words - just do it. (Damned Nike ;-)
The experience of no longer being your thoughts and experiencing the freedom of not being identified with thought, might only be in a few seconds at a time, and then you might fall back into old ways (you are not the observer anymore, but identify with the thoughts). This is something that takes practice to stay with. But now you know the experience, you have been there and you can return there.
An easier way to do this is if you can really take the following in: In reality there is actually nothing you need to do at all. Yes, of course you can make yourself tea, and pay the bills, but when it comes to feeling free and happy, you dont have to do anything, not anything at all. Let go of every concept or thought you ever had and relax into this knowledge. There is nothing you need, drop needing, there is nothing you have to be or do, you are already free and there is nothing you have to ... at all. Just let go. :-)

5: Non-attachment to thoughts last longer: The intervals of not being your thoughts last longer the more you practice this. Practice it and it and you will learn more every time to be the one behind the thoughts - Your true being.

6: Non-attachment to thought: makes you experience the world very differently. You experience the true joy of how things are without your thought-labels on them. After having practiced this many times alone, you might be ready to take it with you out in the world. Practice observing the world through the non-thought experience. Observe the consequences of interaction. You might experience that you see others that are attached to thought, but don't become part of their thought -"games" (Acting and reacting) anymore - As you now have learned, by watching yourself, these games or not done on purpose, they are done out of non-awareness of thoughts. You stop believing that these thoughts are the truth and just stay in the moment fully aware. So in a situation when somebody is projecting positive or negative thoughts on you, where you before would have re-acted to (re-act: somebody acts on you and you send that action back to them; you re-act the movement), you now see the cycle of action and reaction clearly, and take yourself away from it.
As you are seeing the pattern you will most likely not want to identify or willingly participate in it anymore. For the first time you have taken an active choice in the matter - you are aware. As long as you keep your focus on the inner observer of thoughts, seeing others and yourself from this point of view you no longer feel anger, hate, frustration, want or any other feeling for all the things made out of the action / reaction circle. You realize that it is not personal, but made out of unawareness, so you don't take it personal anymore. Rather you are observing what happens and let reality be what it is. You may also instead feel compassion and love for those who are trapped in these circles and want to help them; non-attached (unconditional) love guides you towards other people. The thing about such things is, nobody can really be helped. You are only ready for change at the moment you a ready. Before this moment such things will not make sense to you and you will reject them. Maybe you are not ready for this text now either. Maybe it doesnt make sense to you? That is totally fine, just let it go and go on your way where you will find other truths that speak to you instead. Or maybe you will look up this text again some other day and then it will speak to you. Or maybe it has already started a change inside of you. The best we can do is just to accept other peoples stages of mind, and let reality serve its cause and show itself to you.

7: The more you practice observing your thoughts, the longer the intervals of loving non-attachment lasts.Here are some exercises that can help you get further in touch with your inner "silent" self:
a: Go to the forest (or any other form of nature) Set a total focus on your sensual experiences. How does it smell, what do you see, what do you hear, what do you feel? Focus totally on this. If silence of thought occurs, go with the flow of it, and keep observing.
b: Sit or lay down with your eyes closed. Relax and feel your body. Breathe slowly and deep. Feel the inside of your body, starting with your toes. Move up all the way through yourself until you feel all of you. You are connecting with your own aliveness and presence in the now.
c: Sit or lay down and close your eyes. Just listen and observe your thoughts. Let them go where they want. Given them total space to run around. Stay in this and just let what happens happen.
d: Sit or lay down with closed eyes. Follow your own breath. Have all of your awareness on the breath. Whern you breath in and when you breathe out keep your attention on it. Picture that you are breathing in from the soles of your feet all through your body and out of your head.
e: Try this meditation


8: There is no road to happiness, happiness is the road:
Dont get frustrated if you don't reach a permanent stage of awareness. This would be what we would call enlightenment, and it doesnt really matter. Enlightenment is just an other thought concept. You are not doing this to reach a goal, you are doing this to live as an aware person in the moment - this moment. As long as you live for the future you are not seeing realtiy and the only things that exsist - the now. So take your mind of any possible goal and concentrate on the now. You might do this better by:

9: Be aware of the illusion of time:
The now is the only thing you will ever experience. The past was the now back then - it is not anymore. The now is the only thing that can and ever will exist. The future is only a thought you have created in your mind - it is a constructed idea.
Your thoughts will most often be about these two non-existing times; the past or the future. Or as John Lennon put it so well" Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans." But when you truly are in the now and aware, thought looses its control over you. Because to be in the now is to be present and aware of life itself, not the constructions of how your mind thinks life should be or it wishes it might be. As future and past are constructions, so are thoughts and the mind. They go together and feed each other in an endless circle. And they are all resistances of what is, the present, the now, reality. As long as you resist life as it is, thought becomes more alive. And the opposite is also true, thought naturally looses its power when you are aware and present in life, because reality doesnt need false constructions, reality just is as it is. In this sense thought only becomes a tool you can use, if you want to.
So this is the reason why thought will cling to the conceptual and created times (the past and the future;) it`s its way of becoming alive in your mind. When you see this arise in you, take yourself back to the present moment by being aware of the now, and practicing the ways of awareness described before in this article.

10: Choose the thoughts you want to have in you, to improve your lifequality:All thoughts do not make you unhappy or create illusions in your mind. You might learn thoughts that can help you improve and be happy. In this way thought are a tool for you and in your control, you are no longer just ruled by them unconsciously.
So now you can choose them with care; you choose the thoughts you want, for the person you want to be and practice them. Don`t worry if they won`t stick in the beginning. You learned your old thoughts by repeating them many times through the years. Do the same with the new thoughts. The very best way to do this is to practice the 4 steps of questionng discribed above. (Is the thought true? Turn it around and see if that can be equally true. Etc...)
Tip: If you feel that you still struggle with many negative thoughts and thought-patterns, you might try to redefine your thoughts and emotions before you practice the dis-identification with them. This technique might give you a good start on that.


Other helpful links:
These two ebooks sounds a bit cheesy in the title, but belive me, they are GOLD on the way to inner freedom:
Byron Katie, Book I
Byron Katie, Book II
These videos: 1,   2 are also very helpful - or any other video with Mooji.
(I feel it is very important to forget prejudice to so callled self-help and gurus, if you are actually interested in finding important answers in life. Forget labels and such and just go for the truths there is to find there, and what speaks to you on an own inner personal level...that is the most important thing)
Good luck
- Åsa :-)

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Reaching for dreams

This palace was built by a postman.
The story claims that he had a dream about this palace as a child
and therefore built it after this memory of the dream.
This story nearly makes me want to cry.
Thanks to Mogens for the tip about the story
~ Aasa

Palais idéal


Palais idéal was built by a man called Ferdinand Cheval

Cheval began the building in April 1879. He started it by collecting stones.
For the 33 years, during his daily mail route, Cheval carried stones from his delivery rounds and at home used them to build his Palais idéal, the Ideal Palace. First he carried the stones in his pockets, then a basket and eventually a wheelbarrow. He often worked at night in the light of an oil lamp.

Cheval spent the first two decades building the outer walls. The Palace is a mix of different styles with inspirations from the Bible to Hindu mythology. Cheval bricked the stones together with wire, lime and cement.
Cheval also wanted to be buried in his palace. When French authorities forbade that, he proceeded to spend eight years building a mausoleum for himself in the cemetery of Hauterives. Cheval died around a year after he had finished building it.

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Why do we ration love? (A re-post)
Aren't we humans strange? We hold back our love, cling to it, like it is something that should not be given easily. We put limits to our love. I cannot give it to you, not you either, maaaybe you, I will see if you are worthy. You are not funny enough, not smart enough, not handsome enough. Not enough like me.We keep this gift to ourselves and give it out in small dozes.

This society is so loveless, so drained for emotion and affection., Its a lot easier to be skeptic, to be ironic or judgmental. Its a lot easier to not say Hi to your neighbor, or to not openly tell people what you really feel, at least not before they do. We need to have our egos secure first. Not to be hurt or vounded. It can seem that the image others have of us is more important to us. We cannot seem like the weak or rejected one. That the fear of hurt is worse than not sharing, we cannot take the risk and be let down.

Does somebody really need to deserve love? Is it just of us to set a standard for who we can and cant love? The one who makes me feel exactly like this and this, I can love. The one that doesn't like me I don't like back. Are we just footballs for emotions? Getting kicked in the direction the foot leads it? Did Jesus have a point saying we should turn the other cheek?

Isn't love just something to share? Why do we build up these walls?In these western societies people live alone next to each other. We are lonely in a crowd of longing people. Fear is created. One person is afraid to give, because of old vounds, and then this person gets back what he sends out. Rejection creates rejection. We flip flop back and forth what we deeply do not want, in the fear that we will get just that. So instead of taking a risk we walk alone with our tiny group of selected people. And do we give our love truly to them? Or do we set conditions for it there as well?

Do you know somebody you care for that maybe needs to hear it?
Do you know somebody that is lonely?
Maybe you can be an exception to all this!?
~ Choose love!

¨¨°º©©º°°º©©º°¨¨¨¨°º©©º°°º©©º°¨¨¨¨°º©©º°°º©©º°¨¨¨¨°º©©º°°º©©º°¨¨

From the book The PROPHET, by Kahlil Gibran:

On Love

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
¨¨°º©©º°°º©©º°¨¨¨¨°º©©º°°º©©º°¨¨¨¨°º©©º°°º©©º°¨¨¨¨°º©©º°°º©©º°¨¨

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

dikt

Et lite klisjedikt av
~ Åsa


Ikke glem


Ikke glem gnisten i din sjel
det som bobler og klukker i deg
som en varm en bekk en sommerkveld
under lövkroner og blöt siriss sang

Ikke glem trangen til å leve
det röde blodet som presser seg gjennom deg
og lar deg kjenne livets sitrende hud
som kler deg med en sötlig smerte

Ikke glem underet ved det å väre
som barndommens skattekammer
fyllt med hösten gule blader og dalende snökrystaller
som dekker deg med stille smil

Ikke glem magien som kan brenne i deg
med urolig dunkende hjerte over uutforskede stier

Våkn opp! Riv deg lös! Skrik ut!
Ikke glem! Ikke sov! Ikke tål livet - men lev det!
Ikke glem å traske gjennom duggvått gress under stjerneklare vårnetter
eller å kjenne din kjäres kyss
som om det var det förste
gang på gang

Astronomy facts

Binary stars:

Are made of two stars that are genuinely
close to each other and bound together
by mutual gravitational attraction.

The two stars orbit around a common center of mass.
For each star, the other is its companion star.
The components of binary star systems
can exchange mass, bringing their
evolution to stages that single stars cannot attain.




Hubble image of the Sirius binary system, in which
Sirius B can be clearly distinguished (lower left).

Thursday, July 12, 2012

To my beloved

SONNET 18


Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

Sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
    Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
    Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
    That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
    Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
    Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
    But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
    I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

~ William Shakespeare



MÅNGA RÔSTER TALAR
- Karin boye

Många röster talar.
Din är som vatten.
Din är som regn,
när det faller genom natten.
Sorlar lågt
sjunker trevande,
långsam, tveksam,
kvalfullt levande.

Skälver som en grund
bakom alla ljud,
sipprar och silar
mot min hud,
sveper sig lent,
sluter mig inne,
fyller mina öron
med viskande minne.

Jag vill sitta tyst
där jag inte kan störa dig.
Jag vill bo och leva
där jag kan höra dig.
Många röster talar.
Genom dem alla
hör jag bara din
som ett nattregn falla.


 He walks in beauty like the night

He walks in beauty, like the night   
Of cloudless climes and starry skies,   
And all that's best of dark and bright   
Meets in his aspect and his eyes;   
Thus mellow'd to that tender light            
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.   
 
One shade the more, one ray the less,   
Had half impair'd the nameless grace   
Which waves in every raven tress   
Or softly lightens o'er his face,     
Where thoughts serenely sweet express   
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.   
 
And on that cheek and o'er that brow   
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,   
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,     
But tell of days in goodness spent,—   
A mind at peace with all below,   
A heart whose love is innocent.   


Thoughts while I can´t sleep

- Can´t sleep...I´m sitting in the night reading poetry and thinking - about everything and nothing....There is something special about the summer-night, it has a mystic atmosphere and blue stillness. When the city is empty, the streets has their very own beauty. I nearly like it better than in daytime. The sound of silence is wrapped around every corner.
I started to think about solitude. When I peel off every layer in my conciousness, at least as far down as I can manage to go, this is often what I am left with. The stillness, the solitude.  It is not a very sad feeling, at least not anymore. It is like I have made some peace with my own solitude. And now, sitting here in the night it is almost beautiful in a way.
The feeling of not belonging anywhere. I wonder what it has its roots in? Is it just a feeling rooted in my psyche that needs inner transformation? Or it is just how it is....On the bottom of us all? A rooted feeling of solitude that we now and then dare to feel....in moments of existential bravery.
I don´t know, I just know the feeling of not fitting in. And going through the different stages of that feeling- from pride, to despair, to resignment. "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." (~Jiddu Krishnamurti).....I guess quotes like this can make you smile a little in it all. Things are not black or white and there are many answers.
I know it would be nice maybe sharing these things with somebody though. I guess this is why I write them in my blog. A way of talking to the nameless people out there that maybe feels the same way. I have tried to talk about things like these with people around me so many times, but find little understanding. Now I talk to my own words and the silent readers of my blog instead.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

I am making a new homepage
Hope you likey ;-)
Aasa

Monday, May 21, 2012


Gode alternativer til melk, gluten og sukker 
med lavkarbo tips

Jeg fikk nylig beskjed om at jeg har forhøyet blodsukker og står i fare for lavt stoffslifte. jeg ebstemte meg da for å lese mye om kosthold og finne naturlige alternativer til et helseproblem legene har svært lite tilfredstillende svar på.
En av de første tingene jeg fant ut var at det er absolutt vitalt å kutte gluten, melk (og melkeprodukter) og sukker fra kosten. Her er noen gode altenativer.

Melk:
Rangert etter anbefaling

Mandelmelk: et supert alternativ. Mandel er sunt og har en god innvirkning på mye i kroppens system. Eneste er at det er sjeldet å finne i norske butikker og dyrt. noen helskoster fører det. Men den er svært enkel å lage selv. Man kan da også lage kjeks og andre ting av mandelmassen som blir igjen.*
Havremelk: godt og enkelt, men noen kan reagere allerisk. Sjekk om den er glutenfri da ikke alle merker er det.
Rismelk: godt men har mye naturlig (ris)sukker.
Soyamelk: er godt, har praktisk talt ikke noe sukker, men man bør være skeptisk til soya - det kan virke inn på hormoner og skjoldbruskkjertelen (spesielt unngå om du har stoffslikte problemer)


*Å lage nøttemelk selv er svært enkelt. Jeg vil beskrive i neste artikkel hvordan det gjøres.

Fett:
Rangert etter anbefaling 
Extra virgin olje: Veldig sunt alternativ til steking. jeg vil anbefale dette fremfor noe annet.
Avokadoolje: også et veldig godt alternativ til steking med sunne oljer, men vanskeligere å få tak i
Kokosolje: Veldig sunt alkerternativ. Kan brukes både på brødskiva og ved steking
Smør/margarin: Blå soft margarin eller solsikkemargarin, Nutana (den inneholder ikke transfett)
Stekemargarin: Melange melkefri margarin, Milda Culinesse (kjøpes i Sverige) er flytende plantemargarin, de har en på Rimi fra Euroshopper som er flytende og melkefri.

Fløte:  
Rangert etter anbefaling
Kan kjøpes på Rema 1000(rimeligst) Meny og helsekost (dyrest)
Havrefløte (Oatly, Gogreen)
Risfløte (RiceDrea)
Soya fløte (Alpro)
Det finnes også vispbar soya og havrefløte. 
Is: Soya-is, havre-is, Ris-is.
Yoghurt: Alpro-Soya, havreyoghurter, soyayoghurter fra helsekost.
Rømme: Tofutti sour supreme eller lag egen ost/rømmeerstatning/dip av cashewnøtter
Ost: Soyaoster fra Tofutti, smøreoster av soya.
Glutenfrie alternativer:

Det finnes mange typer melmikser og meltyper man kan bruke istedenfor glutenholdig mel.
Glutenholdig mel: hvete, bygg, rug og havre(kan fåes uten) 
Rangert etter  anbefaling
Quinoa
Bokhvetemel 
Hampmel (veldig sunt og inneholder mye omega 3)
Mandelmasse fra mandelmelk
Mandelmel
Kikermel (kalles gabanza eller gramflour på engelsk)
Havre (naturlig glutenfritt finnes - test allergisk reaksjon)
Sorghum
Fava (mel av en bønnetype)
Tapioka
Teff
Kastanjemel
Amaranthmel
Rismel, både hvitt rismel og fullkornsrismel 
Potetmel
Maismel
Kokosmel
Hirsemel (bør unngås av folk med stoffskifte problemer)
Soyamel (bør unngås av folk med stoffskifte problemer)

Det beste er å blande ulike typer mel for å få det beste resultatet ved baking, da det er vanskelig å få bakevarer til å heve seg skikkelig uten gluten, men det er mange hjelpemidler man kan bruke. Som:
- Fiberhusk
Men det er også mange gode ferdige melmikser:
Semper har flere mikser, noen er naturlig fri for gluten. Noen av de inneholder hvetestivelse, og mange med glutenallergi eller intoleranse tåler dette dårlig.
Finax noen typer er naturlig glutenfri.
Schärs alle er naturlig glutenfrie (såvidt jeg vet) Jeg anbefaler særlig Mix-B, den smaker utmerket og hever seg bra.
Toro har kakemikser og brødmikser med og uten hvetestivelse.
Ellers er det mange andre typer å bestille på nett.
Jyttemel   har flere melmikser med og uten teff. Alle er naturlig glutenfri.
Sukker:
Sukker påvirker blodsukkeret direkte, noe som innvirker sterkt på vår langvarige helse. Å kutte ut sukker er en viktig nøkkel til å legge om kostholdet til en sunnere linje.
Rangert etter glykemisk indeks (effekt på blosukker, satt i parantes)

Stevia (0) Svært godt alternativ og anbefales. Svært små mengder trengs da det er veldig søtt.
Yaconsirup (3-5)
Bjørkesøt (xylitol) (7) Fremstilt av bjørk eller mais, obs bør unngås av allergikere.
Agavesirup (39)

Nytt liv med endret kosthold

Tidsskriftet Psykisk Helse publiserte nylig et intervju med Tor Nålby, hvor hvor han forteller om sine erfaringer rundt endret kosthold. Virkningene har vært store, og vi blir presentert for en inspirerende artikkel, som gir innblikk i et stadig voksende og aktuelt tema
Jeg har selv startet en gluten, sukker og melkefri diett, og kommer til å dele mer av egne erfaringer etterhvert. Håper dere kan dra nytte av denne artikkelen
- Aasa

Sluttet med melk og mel: – Har blitt roligere og mer sosial

– Før var jeg enten veldig intens eller jeg var helt utmattet. I dag har jeg en jevnere energi og har fått en ny ro, forteller Tor Nålby (42). Han er ikke i tvil om at det er endret kosthold som har hjulpet ham til et bedre liv.
Tekst Gro Lien Garbo
Foto Sveinung Uddu Ystad
Det lukter asiatisk mat i leiligheten til Tor Nålby i toppetasjen i blokka i Drammen. Han står på det lille kjøkkenet og hakker rutinert vårløk, koriander, thailandsk basilikum og mye annet, som sammen med rent kjøtt er ingrediensene til dagens suppe.


Nålby forteller at da han var på en lengre reise i Thailand og Indonesia for noen år siden, kjente han at han fikk det bedre med seg selv. Fra å være veldig innadvendt åpnet han seg mer og mer opp.


– Det var ikke lenger så vanskelig å snakke med folk. Sjenansen og uroen som ellers preget meg, ble betydelig dempet. Jeg ble tryggere og mer sosial, sier Nålby.
Ikke bare varmen
På reisen spiste han ris, kjøtt, fisk og frukt og grønnsaker, som lokalbefolkningen. Melk og hvetemel var ikke en del av deres diett.


– Men det slo meg ikke da at min bedrede psykiske tilstand hang sammen med maten jeg hadde i meg. Jeg gikk ut ifra at det var varmen som hadde en heldig virkning, sier han.


På stueveggen i den lyse leiligheten hans henger to masker og en svær skulptur fra Indonesia, som han har besøkt flere ganger. Fra vinduene ser vi havna og båter som seiler forbi.


– Det var fint å reise og å være i varmen, men i ettertid har jeg skjønt at det var det endrede kostholdet som gjorde utslaget, sier Nålby, som i dag er med i styret i Proteinintoleranseforeningen.


– Det var en venn av meg som tipset meg om foreningen, fordi han mistenkte at mine psykiske problemer kunne henge sammen med proteinintoleranse. Jeg tok kontakt med foreningen og fikk i tillegg tatt en urintest som påviste en høy opphopning av protein i urinen, sier Nålby.


Det er litt over fem år siden nå, og det førte til at han bestemte seg for å legge om kostholdet og leve på en melkefri og glutenfri diett.


Reagerte på melk
Tor Nålby strekker seg etter en pose med risnudler, som skal med i suppa. Han har en samling kokebøker om grønn mat og melk- og glutenfri mat og er stadig på jakt etter nye oppskrifter og gode alternativer til melk og hvetemel.


– I ettertid har jeg tenkt på at jeg har blitt fortalt at jeg reagerte negativt på melk helt fra jeg var liten. Som spedbarn hadde jeg problemer med å få i meg melk og kastet opp. Jeg har slitt med irriterte slimhinner og luftveisinfeksjoner og hatt mange fysiske plager og både muskelsmerter og anemi. Psykisk har jeg ikke fått noen diagnose, men jeg mener selv jeg har hatt trekk som likner på Asperger syndrom.


–Jeg har hatt problemer med å føle empati og med å få kontakt med andre. Kroppskontakt har vært en utfordring. På det verste slet jeg med sterk depresjon og selvmordstanker. Jeg var også urolig i mitt eget selskap. Det ble uutholdelig å leve, forteller han.


Nålby understreker at et endret kosthold ikke har tatt vekk alle de psykiske utfordringene, men at problemene nå er overkommelige, og at han i dag har et godt liv.


– Kollegene mine synes jeg har blitt lettere å snakke med og at jeg gir av meg selv på en helt annen måte enn før. Nå setter jeg tydeligere grenser for meg selv og for andre, det blir det mindre konflikt av.


– I dag engasjerer jeg meg ikke i alt omkring meg, og kan filtrere bort mer. Jeg har blitt tryggere på meg selv. Jeg kan gjerne stå foran en forsamling og holde foredrag. Det hadde jeg store problemer med for noen år siden, sier Nålby.
Abstinenser
Tidligere på dagen har han vært ute på en kort skitur for å røre litt på seg og nyte vinteren. Nålby forteller at det er en ny opplevelse og at han for noen år siden kunne gå og gå i timevis, uten egentlig å få med seg noe av naturen, lyset eller det som skjedde rundt ham.


– Jeg gikk for å kvitte meg med den indre uroen. Det var det eneste målet med å røre på seg, sier han, og legger til at veien fram til den roen han har funnet i dag, har vært vanskelig.


– Det verste var de første månedene da jeg gikk over til fullstendig melke- og glutenfri diett.


–Jeg hadde abstinenser. Kroppen ropte etter melk og hvetemel. Psykisk var jeg veldig gira, enten helt oppe eller helt nede. Jeg var vanskelig å få kontakt med. Det var nok derfor betjeningen i butikkene holdt øye med meg, slik de gjorde på den tiden.


Jeg minnet om en stoffmisbruker. Men min avhengighet dreide seg om melk og mel. Jeg kunne ligge i sengen uten å klare å slappe av. Jeg var anspent i hele kroppen, forteller han.


Etter noen måneder roet kroppen seg mer ned, men Nålby var lenge nedtrykt.
– Jeg hadde vært vant til å leve som en person som enten var påskrudd eller avskrudd. Nå skulle jeg venne meg til et mer jevnt humør. Det var ikke gjort over natten.
Var aldri mett
Mens han har fortalt, har han gjort suppen ferdig. Den smaker nydelig. Hvis vi har tid, vil han gjerne lage en sjokolademousse av avokado og mørke kakaobønner. Den skal være fantastisk god.


Tor Nålby samler på oppskrifter og lager gjerne store porsjoner så han har flere dager av gangen. Og det er ikke bare asiatisk mat, også lapskaus, ertesuppe eller rødbetsuppe, eller han steker opp noen skiver laks.


– Før jeg la om kosten, var jeg aldri mett. Det var som om jeg måtte fylle et sluk. Nå er ikke sultfølelsen den samme. Det hender at jeg må minne meg selv om at det er på tide å spise, sier Nålby, som også har kuttet kraftig ned på sukker og karbohydrater. Han mener at kroppen ikke har godt av det.


– Tidligere var jeg fullstendig utmattet etter jobb og sank bare sammen i en stol. I dag har jeg en jevn energi både om morgenen, om formiddagen og om kvelden.
Det siste året har han brukt mye krefter på å pusse opp leiligheten, både stuen og kjøkkenet.


– Før hadde jeg en vegg i stuen som var gul og en som var rød. Etter at jeg malte alt hvitt, satt jeg meg ned og pustet ut. Det er godt når alt ikke er så ekstremt, sier han og sukker:


– Jeg skulle ønske at jeg hadde lagt om kostholdet mye tidligere. Da hadde jeg vært spart for mange vanskelige år.
Opprettet: 19.04.2011 09:48:14
Sist endret: 19.04.2011 10:52:04

Monday, May 07, 2012

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Dikt

I am shouting - behind mountains,
behind walls,
I am screaming to my voice breaks down

I am whispering
softly in your ear
- everything; silently, wihout words

Is this how it is to grow up?

Sunday, March 25, 2012

longing





Noun 1. longing
long·ing (lông'ĭng, lŏng'-) pronunciation
A strong persistent yearning or desire
A strong wanting of what promises enjoyment or pleasure
yearning, hungriness
hankering, yen - a yearning for something or to do something
pining - a feeling of deep longing

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Winnie The Pooh and a tiny bit of Taoism

--------------
Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to
watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly
know everything there is to be known.
~Winnie-the-Pooh
--------------
"How do you do Nothing?" asked Pooh.
"Well, it's when people call out at you just as you're going off to do it
What are you going to do, Christopher Robin?' and you say,
`Oh, nothing' and then you go and do it. It means just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering."
--------------
"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."Piglet
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
---------------
"The atmospheric conditions have been very unfavourable lately," said Owl.
"The what?"
"It has been raining," explained Owl.
"Yes," said Christopher Robin. "It has."
"The flood-level has reached an unprecedented height."
"The who?"
"There's a lot of water about," explained Owl
--------------
Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you.
And all you can do is to go where they can find you.
~Winnie-the-Pooh
--------------
Lots of people talk to animals. Not that many listen though. That's the problem.
~Winnie-the-Pooh
--------------
They're funny things, accidents. You never have them till you're having them.
~Eeyore
--------------
Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are
looking for before you begin looking for it.
~Winnie-the-Pooh
--------------
Rivers know this: There is no hurry. We shall get there one day.
~Winnie-the-Pooh
--------------
"It's a funny thing about Tiggers," whispered Tigger to Roo,
"how Tiggers never get lost."
"Why don't they, Tigger?"
"They just don't," explained Tigger. "That's how it is."
--------------
"I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't. But there was going to be
when I began it. It's just that something happened to it along the way."
--------------
“Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear.”
- Winnie the pooh
--------------

Sunday, February 26, 2012

inspiration

A re-post from 2011

Today I just woke up, and went out to see how the weather was. It wasn't sunny at all, it was actually grey and raining. But after standing outside for a while, I could hear the birds chirping in the trees and fluttering around the house. I was surprised to see how this moved me, so much that I started to cry a bit. I had no idea how I have been longing for spring. And just this little preview of it made my eyes water with emotion.

There is something very special about spring. the time in year that comes after we have spent so long in cold and darkness. Spring is like a new hope,- snow melting to unveil flowers, a smile after sadness, seeing your loved ones after a long journey away, and I think that was also what touched me. I felt this new hope in my chest too - all the feelings that had been hid by the darkness of winter bubbling up and wanting to bee seen and acknowledged again,- to be set free and live. Spring is like falling in love. It melts the ice and old hurt from your heart and turns you to light and warmth.
I have never liked to favor anything, cause I don't like to treat things differently, (like they have different value). But in this case I must make an exception. Spring with all its signs of hope is definitely my favorite season.
I honestly think that if people just got some sun and hugs every day, the world would look very different :-)
Here is a beautiful song to enjoy while you are sitting in the sun


 

"Even if blame seems more than justified, as long as you blame others, you keep feeding your pain and get trapped in your own ego. There is only one perpatrator of evil on the planet - human unconsciousness. That realisation is true forgivness. With forgiveness your victim identity dissolves, and your true power emerges - the power of Presence. Instead of blaming the darkness, you bring in the light."
- Echart Tolle