Monday, December 19, 2011


Now, I think the way is to stop identifying with thoughts, and let them go. But if one must have thoughts, it is better to choose them, than to let them choose or control you. Maybe this list can inspire you to choose some good thoughts to be a part of who you are.
- Aasa

Lojong is mind training, a practice in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition based on a set of aphorisms formulated in Tibet in the 12th century by Geshe Chekhawa. The practice involves refining and purifying one's motivations and attitudes. The fifty-nine or so proverbs that form the root text of the mind training practice are designed as a set of antidotes to undesired mental habits that cause suffering. Prominent teachers who have popularized this practice in the West include Pthe 14th Dalai Lama and ema Chodron.

The aphorisms on mind training listed below are paraphrased from a translation of the Tibetan original.

  • First, train in the preliminaries.
  • Find the consciousness you had before you were born.
  • Let even the remedy itself drop away naturally.
  • Stay in the primeval consciousness, the basis of everything.
  • As you breathe in, take in and accept all the sadness, pain, and negativity of the whole world, including yourself, and absorb it into your heart. As you breathe out, pour out all your joy and bliss; bless the whole of existence.
  • Understand your attachments, your aversions, and your indifference, and love them all.
  • Apply these proverbs in everything you do.
  • When practicing unconditional acceptance, start with yourself.
  • When everything goes wrong, treat disaster as a way to wake up.
  • Take all the blame yourself.
  • Be grateful to everyone.
  • Don't worry – there's nothing real about your confusion.
  • When something unexpected happens, in that very moment, treat it as a meditation.
  • Work with the Five Forces. The Five Forces are:
  1. Be intense, be committed.
  2. Familiarization – get used to doing and being what you want to do and to be.
  3. Cultivate the white seeds, not the black ones.
  4. Turn totally away from all your ego trips.
  5. Dedicate all the merits of what you do for the benefit of others.
  • Practice these Five Forces and you are ready for death at any moment.
  • All teachings have the same goal.
  • Follow the inner witness rather than the outer ones.
  • Always have the support of a joyful mind.
  • Practicing even when distracted is good training.
  • Always observe these three points:
  1. Regularity of practice.
  2. Not wasting time on the inessential.
  3. Not rationalizing our mistakes.
  • Change your attitude, but stay natural.
  • Do not discuss defects.
  • Don't worry about other people.
  • Work on your greatest imperfection first.
  • Abandon all hope of results.
  • Give up poisonous food.
  • Don't indulge in malicious gossip.
  • Don't wait in ambush.
  • Don't strike at the heart.
  • Don't put the yak's load on the cow.
  • Remember – this is not a competition.
  • Don't be sneaky.
  • Don't abuse your divine power for selfish reasons.
  • Don't expect to profit from other people's misfortune.
  • In all your activities, have a single purpose.
  • Solve all problems by accepting the bad energy and sending out the good.
  • Renew your commitment when you get up and before you go to sleep.
  • Accept good and bad fortune with an equal mind.
  • Keep your vows even at the risk of your life.
  • Recognize your neurotic tendencies, overcome them, then transcend them.
  • Find a teacher, tame the roving mind, choose a lifestyle that allows you to practice.
  • Love your teacher, enjoy your practice, keep your vows.
  • Focus your body, mind, and spirit on the path.
  • Exclude nothing from your acceptance practice: train with a whole heart.
  • Always meditate on whatever you resent.
  • Don't depend on how the rest of the world is.
  • In this life, concentrate on achieving what is most meaningful.
  • Don't let your emotions distract you, but bring them to your practice.
  • Don't let your practice become irregular.
  • Train wholeheartedly.
  • Free yourself by first watching, then analyzing.
  • Don't feel sorry for yourself.
  • Don't be jealous.
  • Stay focused.
  • Don't expect any applause.
* The Tonglen and Mind Training Site
* LOJONG: Eight Verses for Training the Mind.
Offered by His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Outside the box

Don´t think outside the box

Instead - know that the box doesn´t exist
- except; in your mind
if you place it there

Thursday, December 15, 2011


A re-post from 2006

I would live in a big castle on a cliff up in the mountains
it would be a medieval castle and all my clothes would be dresses from that time
I would also have some armor and knight equipment
and I would have a horse or two
and an owl that lived in the mountains but visited me every day
and I would have a knight by my side
and my knight would woo me and kiss my hand
and then we would fence each other a little with long swords
and both would win about half of the time
and we would both be very bad loosers and tickle each other
just for the hell of it

but I would not just live in the the castle
now and then I would live in a treehouse in the forrest
and it would be a brook just next to my treehouse
and I would only live from food that grew in the forest
and every morning I would collect herbs in a little basket
and while doing that I would talk to the animals
and my man would live nearby
and he would be "dressed" as a faun
and visit me in the middle of the night climbing up my tree
and do a romantic fireshow for me
and I would give him hourlong massages in a meadow
and we would lie there all day until the stars came out
and fall asleep in eachothers arms

And he would be
passionate and wild
compassionate and caring
show me his care and that he is there for me
surprise me again and again
love that I adore him and shower him with affection
do the same to me
gives me security but not be boring
gives me excitement but not be unsertain in his ways with me
love my company and miss me whilst away, but not be clingy
be considerate of my feelings and wonder about if I am well
let me spoil him with attention and love
let me be weird and caring and adore him, and not be afraid by it
Let me kiss him and cuddle him and give him lots of [sensured for sensitive readers]
Who wouldnt mind if we argued a little
and who didnt have a problem talking it out afterwards
loves sex in the weirdest, exciting places
loves sex in the cutest ,cuddliest places
loves to make love with me
loves to fuck me too
want to travel the world
want to live in New Zealand ;) (and a castle and a treehouse)
want to show me how much he cares and tell it to me until he thinks I am sick of it
(which I never will be)

a guy...
that I can talk to for hours about deep things
that I can talk to for hours about rubbish
that I can be silly with
that I can be serious with
that is emotional
that understands me
that is differnt from me and dares to be
that is the same in amny ways and dares to be as well
that I adore and look up to
that adores and looks up to me

and that loves to dress up in weird costumes and play roles with me
we could be Bonnie and Clyde
Or hippies at Woodstock
Or warlock and witch
and he would not be afraid to go out in the streets with me wearing it
so we could make fools of ourselves
just for the laugh of it

and in the forrest I would have a school for everybody who wanted to come
kids and adults
and it would be a place where everybody teached everybody something they knew well
(cause everybody has a gift of something)
and we would take turns to show eacother these things

and up in the castle I would have a huge fruitgarden
full of strange exciting things
were a lot of kids came every day and played and had fun
and often I would join them
being a kid myself

and I would have magical powers
to make people feel good
and this would make them do good deeds to eachother
and I might just make the world a little better in a small scale
but still I would be a person who made it better, not worse

imagine, you can be 3 kinda of people
the one who makes the world better
the one who doesn't make a difference
and the one who makes it worse

I prefer to try my best and be the first kind

and I would not be happy all the time
cause I woudl have bad times and sad times too
but this would be the reason why
I would be happy as fuck

~ the end

Monday, December 05, 2011

The battle within

A re-post

Reason- You have ruled long enough now. Finally I have something to say in here too

ID/heart- yes, so I see, and I find it really boring, and you know very well that I still have the strongest rule of us two
reason- Yes, and it makes me sad, SHE is going nowhere as long as she is just listening to you. You are just a life of illusions and dreams

ID- Ha ha ha, yes, but it sure is fun

Reason- Life isn´t just fun, it cant be just fun. Sometimes you must do things that are not fun too

ID- Blah blah blah, so I have heard you speak a million times. Its bullshit. You sound like my mother. Life can be just fun! Its what you make of it. And I am not going to waste it letting it be boring. Then I will juts go somewhere else where the fun is

Reason- I know you will, and this is what stops you from growing. This is what keeps you a child, unable to deal with the world, unable to be responsible

ID- You got it babe, I don´t want to be responsible. And whats wrong with being a child? They have more fun and are more open to the world, they are more real!!!

Reason- You are not being real in that sense. If you had some grounding and foundations to your thoughts it would be wonderful. But you are just soaring around like a boat without oars, led by wherever the current is taking you. If you could integrate that playfulness of yours with responsibility you would grown up in the real sense. You would be a wise child in the world, not a just an unconscious one - not just a child clinging to its own illusions

ID- mmmm. So what? I don´t want all that. Its too boring. And I really cant take boring, it frustrates me, I need action! "Responsibility", just the word spells out b-o-r-i-n-g! I want things the be easy and fun. I can play forever!

Reason- Well, then do that. But you will always stay the same and you will not change. Also you will be deeply alone, cause there are no real relationships or friendships in that way. Just satisfaction in the moment. No strings, no commitment, just fun and pleasure. You think your loved ones are really loved ones, but you really don´t see them, cause the are just there for your needs and for the moment. You will have people beside you yes, but you will still be alone, cause you are not sacrificing anything, not really.

ID-I know.. Its always been like that

Reason- Because you don´t want to have responsibility. Because you want to stay a child. Because you just want to play. Because if somebody makes you feel obligated in a way, you get scared. You feel like you can only do the things you want to do, this is pure egoism. This is imprisoning yourself. You think it is freedom and being real, but its not. Its the pure opposite.
Things can´t always be fun, people can´t be totally free in the way you see it, cause its an imposed freedom that forces you to not have any strings. Don´t you see the paradox. You are not free, you are ruled by your own rules of having no rules.

ID-I know, now you make me sad

Reason- pffft, you just want to feel sorry for yourself now. Its another way of being a child and not taking responsibility for yourself. Be responsible for your own life. Take it in your hands!
I know it is a huge thing to do. I know it is scary. It is the greatest responsibility of them all. To see that you can do anything in your life. You can choose happiness, you can choose running.
You choose what you make of this great gift you have been given called life.

Choose it now!

Don´t blame the world or other people for things not being right! Look at yourself if things arent right and do soething about it. It is your choice. See it now! Stop the hiding. It is time!

ID- I will try. I am trying

Reason- Dont try! DO IT!