Monday, July 31, 2006
tear inside of me sometimes.
Why are we so reluctant
and scared to talk
about such things?
We are we so scared
to expose ourselves
as we all are, fragile,
They can hurt so much,
the demons from my past.
It can throw me
down with its pain.
I guess we all have
different measures of it
But I will just quote
the all over-used yet
beautiful lyrics by R.E.M
All of my heart
I send to you out there in pain
You are not alone
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Thursday, July 20, 2006
One reason being the many times I have heard the following statement from people afraid of gay and lesbians:
"It´s not natural".
Well, here is a little story to give us some thought about just that
They're in love. They're gay. They're penguins... And they're not alone.
By Cristina Cardoze
PHOTO: The New York Aquarium
Wendell and Cass, two penguins at the New York Aquarium in Coney Island, Brooklyn, live in a soap opera world of seduction and intrigue. Among the 22 male and 10 female African black-footed penguins in the aquarium's exhibit, tales of love, lust and betrayal are the norm. These birds mate for life. But given the disproportionate male-female ratio at the aquarium, some of the females flirt profusely and dump their partners for single males with better nests.
Wendell and Cass, however, take no part in these cunning schemes. They have been completely devoted to each other for the last eight years. In fact, neither one of them has ever been with anyone else, says their keeper, Stephanie Mitchell.
But the partnership of Wendell and Cass adds drama in another way. They're both male. That is to say, they're gay penguins.
This is not unusual. "There are a lot of animals that have same-sex relations, it's just that people don't know about it," Mitchell said. "I mean, Joe Schmoe on the street is not someone who's read all sorts of biology books."
One particular book is helpful in this case. Bruce Bagemihl's "Biological Exuberance," published in 1999, documents homosexual behavior in more than 450 animal species. The list includes grizzly bears, gorillas, flamingos, owls and even several species of salmon.
"The world is, indeed, teeming with homosexual, bisexual and transgendered creatures of every stripe and feather," Bagemihl writes in the first page of his book. "From the Southeastern Blueberry Bee of the United States to more than 130 different bird species worldwide, the 'birds and the bees,' literally, are queer."
In New York, it's the penguins.
At the Central Park Zoo, Silo and Roy, two male Chinstrap penguins, have been in an exclusive relationship for four years. Last mating season, they even fostered an egg together.
"They got all excited when we gave them the egg," said Rob Gramzay, senior keeper for polar birds at the zoo. He took the egg from a young, inexperienced couple that hatched an extra and gave it to Silo and Roy. "And they did a really great job of taking care of the chick and feeding it."
Of the 53 penguins in the Central Park Zoo, Silo and Roy are not the only ones that are gay. In 1997, the park had four pairs of homosexual penguins. In an effort to increase breeding, zookeepers tried to separate them by force. They failed, said Gramzay.
Only one of the eight bonded with a female. The rest went back to same-sex relationships, not necessarily with the same partner. Silo and Roy, long-time homosexuals, got together (or pair-bonded, in official penguin lingo) after that failed experiment.
At the New York Aquarium, no one suspected Wendell and Cass were gay when they first bonded. Penguins don't have external sex organs, so visually there's no surefire way to tell whether they are male or female. But over time, people began to wonder.
In all the years they had been together, neither Wendell nor Cass laid an egg. This was unusual because the keepers knew they copulated regularly. They had often seen Wendell submit to Cass, the more dominating of the two. But one day, a keeper saw Wendell on top.
When penguins have sex, the female lies on her belly and the male climbs on top with his feet and puts his rump around her rump. Then their cloacas (sexual organs) meet, and the sperm is transferred into the female. It's called the cloacal kiss.
Wendell and Cass were clearly kissing both ways. So in 1999, the aquarium did a blood test to determine their gender. It proved they were both male.
Today, they are one of the best couples at the aquarium. "Sometimes they lie on the rocks together," Mitchell said. "They're one of the few couples that like to hang out together outside their nest."
Wendell and Cass have a highly coveted nest. During mating season, several other penguins have tried to steal it. Cass, a fierce fighter, kept them at bay. (Wendell, on the other hand, is "afraid of his own shadow," said Mitchell.)
The appeal of their nest is the location: high up, close to the water and the feeding station. Rumors that they keep the neatest nest at the aquarium because they're gay are not true.
"These are penguins," said Mitchell. "They poop in their nest. Nobody's got a clean nest."
"Scientific proof is nothing more than conditional truth"
"It has always seemed to me extreme presumptuousness on the part of those who want to make human ability the measure of what nature can and knows how to do, since, when one comes down to it, there is not one effect in nature, no matter how small, that even the most speculative minds can fully understand."
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Try out the tickle
Zodiac Match Test
(To get the final long score in the end, just pass all the commercial by finding
the link on the pages saying skip.)
Green - The signs I go well with
Red - Baaaad for Aasa
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
The following quote
Is taken from the movie "Smillas sense of snow":
What a surprise.
We weren't expecting you.
I thought you didn't celebrate Christmas
So what do you celebrate, Smilla?
Oh, I celebrate the loners,
the shy girl with pimples,
the fattest boy in class,
the premature ejaculators.
Lets celebrate all those who "fall out"of this
society we think are so perfect.
Maybe "the outcasts" are the ones who are real enough to not
really take all the bullshit?
Sunday, July 16, 2006
It is a site where they automatically compare
your face to celebrity faces and tell you which you look alike
It can be male or female
Try it out
After running different images
of me these were the Celebes coming
up as top 5 lookalikes most frequently:
They are ranged after which the site
thought I looked most alike on the photoes
Tori Amos (yay)
Jennifer Lopez, Janine Garofulo, Brittany Murphy,
Lena Olin (yay again), Catherine Zeta Jones,
Celina Yaitley, Naomi Watts, Ashley Olsen, Mischa Barton,
oh, and I got one guy, haha, Michael Vartan
There arels other things that this site provides.
You can search for your ancestors and build a family tree.
It is quite fun.
Friday, July 14, 2006
I always though it would be the other way around. With creative first and analytical second. Oh, well. Try it out you too, and maybe you will get some surprises. Tickle has a lot of good well-written and funny tests.
1: The smell of a man I am in love with
2 : The air just before the rain starts
3: Cholcolate getting melted
4: A new bathed baby
5: A man who just have shaved
6: A foaming sea
7: Freshly baked bread
8: A tree in the forest
9: Garlic getting heated
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Anybody who wants to come with me?
Especially in hard times I feel that life can be closer to me than ever.
Through those times I see my soul being transformed and shaped in deeper waters.
I think something picturing this in a beautiful way in nature is the lotus.
The lotus is a flower that blooms in the mud.
The thicker and deeper the mud, the more beautiful the lotus blooms.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
I would be a bird. But I don't think I would be a tropical bird, like you
But a blue bird maybe
with some tiny spots of something
not many birds that color
mean to the pigeons
I am on the
side of birds
all of them
yeah, here they
are called flying rats
shouldn't be bird-racist
I HATE that. I know. I like pigeons
"Walking rats" are the ones who call them that...hehehe
Maybe I should blog that! - Fight for the freedom of birds
(oh, that's sortof a paradoxal sentence) hehe
your blog will soon turn into 3am posts
Monday, July 10, 2006
You scored 92 Equality, 64 Liberty, and 35 Stability!
You are a bit difficult to classify. You may well be socialist. However your greater than average commitment to equality may make you more of a Utopian Socialist. On the other hand your secondary commitment to liberty may make you a Social-Liberal. Check both links and see what you think.
I think this picture was a littel funny, haha!
Political Objectives Test
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Its an inspiration for me and its great to see that somebody is reading
and also have some thoughts about those things I say.
When blogging you sometimes feel that you are shouting out in the darkness
and people are just passing by not hearing you or just plainly are not interested
Comments makes a difference and fuels my writing...
...It makes me continue this blog, which has become something I really enjoy doing.
Thank you all, you are lovely!
Lots of warm, hugs
I want to travel to exotic new places, where everything is fresh and exciting.
I have traveled so many times, but its never enough.
I want to be on the road, see the dust leave behind me. Explore, get thrilled, move, move, move.
I want to smell new scents, see things I don't know yet, stay awake under new skies, smell the salt of oceans I have never swam in.
This is my dream, this is how I want to live. I want to suck in life through my skin. See new faces, touch new sounds with my ears.
This has always been my dream.
My restless heart wants it more than ever now.
I am longing.
I also love to hear others peoples dreams. Its inspiring, its interesting. Its like diving into somebody else's mind. It would be lovely if somebody dared to tell me. To comment, to share a little of their secret with me, even if its anonymous or not.
It would be great.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Friday, July 07, 2006
Yesterday I suddenly got smacked in the face by my own expectations.
You see, normally I live life very much without them, but in certain areas they sometimes build up huge and ruin everything for me. So I got to thinking about expectations in general
I can just give you an easy example from our everyday-life.
The Matrix films.
Do you remember the first one? The first one was cool, right? I really liked it. It was new, it was fresh at that time, it had something going.
There was something universal and true with many of the messages it wanted to send. Quotes like "Stop trying to hit me, and hit me" made me grin and nod agreeingly.
Later I went to see the second one.
I remember that when I was watching it, I had the feeling that I was waiting for something. Something that never came. I thought it was a very bad movie.
But was it so bad just because it was not made well?
I think, for me, only partly. The strongest reason I didn't like it, was because it didn't live up to the expectations I had built for it.
So......Maybe I could have enjoyed it more just for what it was if I didn't have those huge expectations?
I can also give an other example, and maybe a very common one.
The idea that the media and film industry pours out to us every day...That some day somebody is going to save us. That some day we will meet a person that "completes us". That some day we will find a somebody that will take away the pain that is living and make it into just happiness - "happily ever after"
Maybe it is not a conscious wish in all of us, but I am very sure that it lies in the bottom of the unconscious sea of so, so many people.
To me this says a lot. Expectations to life seem to narrow it in a way. It put frames to how we live, it makes our experiences smaller. It makes us not enjoy what is in the present, because of our thoughts of how it should be.
It makes us create life into a recipe It makes us not accept life as it really is, with all its pain and joy. It makes us wait and linger for something we don't have. And most important of all....It makes us forget the only thing we really have in life, the very moment right now!
I have had a "punkduck" in my life for more than a year now
He is a total lifesaver. So, today's post is just a yay for you Taynor and for all the great talks and all the times we have saved eachother with them. Lots of hugs
damn, you surprise me every time I talk with you
cant I have like a regular doses if you talk inserted into my brain ?
I think I surprise myself when I talk to you!
Well there's a diagram for you to follow there
oh, I need a pukduck to keep me straight
cant you come to barca and talk sense to me now and then
Regular chats with you does the same for me too!
I'd love to!
On Friday I find out whether I might be getting this job
If I get it then I'm all yours
Do you know that you're the only person I ever get philosophical with ever?
You're the only one I philosophize with
that's nice :) in a way
I don't know why
You're the only person I am sure of that likes it
Or is interested
And do you know what's cool?
I never seem to say the wrong thing to you?
well, maybe because there is no wrong thing to say
but I know what you mean
its just relaxed
Or that you never see it as wrong either
yeah, that was sortof what I meant, it just came out a little weird
hehe, of course you do
maybe I can shrink you and have you in my pocket for instant guidance and help and cuddle when ever needed ??
Very very good idea
we can swith now and then
Yeah, I'd like an Aasa in my pocket
I am a tincan that has been peeled open the last days.
I am taking a course with breathing techniques and such.
Suddenly I have no defense at all.
I am totally open and everything from my past is flashing trough me
Sometimes life can be a little too much to Handel. Especially if you are into self-undersanding and evolving. God I miss the good old days when I just ran away from my pain and didn't feel it, haahahahahah!
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Who are you? What are you? Where are you?
What can you take responsibility for in life?
What can you not take responsibility for?
What is the cause of happiness?
What makes you happy?
Does objectivity exist?
What is happiness?
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
I cannot get access to the old one
I will not respond to anybody I don't know who uses this to contact me or add me to MSN
LINK: Take the test
If you take this test please feel free to write your score in the comments.
Its always fun to see
My score (shortened):
64 Sanguine, 14 Melancholy, 28 Choleric, 28 Phlegmatic
Hail to you who is SANGUINE!!!
Oh how the world needs the Fun Sanguine. The lift of joy in troubled times. The touch of innocence in a jaded era. The gift of humor when we're heavy hearted. The enthusiasm and energy to start over and over again. The creativity and charm to color a drab day. The simplicity of a child in complex situations.
Here is why you totally rock:
You are enthusiastic, excitable, talkative, a story teller, cheerful, sincere, wide eyed & innocent, curious, emotional, and fun. You are adaptable, you live in the present, and you have a good sense of humor. In your workplace, you think up new activities,volunteer for jobs, start in a flashy way, charm others to join, inspire others to work, have boundless energy, and you are creative and colorful. You make friends easily, love people, turn disaster into humor, are exciting, and envied by others, don't hold grudges, apologize quickly, prevent dull moments & like spontaneous activities.
Here is how you suck:
You are a compulsive talker who elaborates, gets lost in tangents, and can't remember names. You have too much energy for some. You are egotistical, naive, easily angered, restless, and disorganized. At work you are forgetful, don't follow through, undisciplined, your priorities are out of order, you would rather talk than work, you decide by feelings and are easily distracted. As a friend you want credit and want to be liked. You dominate conversations and interrupt.
And yet still, you are everyone's favorite, deservedly so, because you are so wonderful! I mean, everyone has weaknesses, but at least you are interesting! You make life into an adventure. You rock.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
I give a challenge to the readers of this blog.
Daily there are about 100 people who pop by it on average, and I see that of these 100 only about 3 or 4 make a comment.
I guess some just find it boring or not interesting or relevant to them and then its totally fine.
But then you have some that I see returning (yes, I can see you, muhahahahahaha ;) every day and often several times in one day, but they have never left a trace. Not even once.
And I think that is a little unfair.
I mean, if you buy a newspaper you pay for it right?
But this is totally free....only..... one of the things that fuel this blog is the comments and the conversations that can start through the comments.
Example: I can sit one day, looking at the people visiting I think "Oh, there's this person from England visiting, that I have never talked to or heard from.
I wonder who this person is. What are their lives like?"
"Why does this person come to my blog", I think.
"Looking for something?"
"Like my posts or not?"
Yes, I am watching ya
"Are they just bored?"
So, I think you who read this get the challenge by now.
Tell me a little. It can be anything. Something about you, were you live, what you do. Something you think about or just an opinion on my blog. If you hate it, like it, or are indifferent.
Just post as anonymous if you want to.
I just want to know, cause sometimes this feels like shouting out in the darkness, wondering..."Do they listen or just don't give a damn?"
And then I wonder if it would be a better idea for me just to keep this blog un-official, like the other one I have online.
So give me something dear readers :)
Lots of good wishes
Monday, July 03, 2006
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Yesterday me and my friend Stig went out for a little treeclimbing and phototaking.