Friday, July 29, 2005


I am not sure what did it..........

The Harry Potter books?
The late nights?
The treeclimbing?

But suddenly I felt this irresisteble yearn to fly down on somebody and drag them up into my tree.

So you better watch out and look up........ might be the tree you are passing under that I am sitting in

Thursday, July 28, 2005

The doublestandards of life and war

We meet double standards everywhere in both life and society.
Sometimes its just natural I think...its part of human nature to be contradictive.
Sometimes it`s just really frustrating, and other times it just seems evil.
Personally I think the worst cases ara in war...

Something to make us think about our current worl-situation? :
Story tells that Alexander the Great once caught a notoruous pirate captain and when upholding him he asks the pirate, "How dare you molest the sea?"
The pirate turns to Alexander the Great and says, "How dare you molest the whole world? I have a small boat, so I am called a thief and a pirate.
You have a navy, so you're called an emperor."


"Kill one and you are a murderer, Kill many and you are a conquerer, Kill them all and you are a God..."


"There are many terrorist states in the world, but the United States is unusual in that it is officially committed to international terrorism."

– Noam Chomsky

Procastinationmaster - me?

The night

Why do I like the night so much?
I am really a nightowl
I feel more energetic -
more alive, more creative in the night.
When the shadows gets longer
my soul sings with a new and clearer voice.
When the darkness falls my imagination rises.
Maybe it`s the darkness in me
friendly holding the hand of the worlds` shadows
- recognizing itself in them
I just know I am more content at those hours.
They make sense to me
- I speak them without words.

The worlds shortes personality test...kinda funny...try it out!

You are dignified, spiritual, and wise.
Always unsatisfied, you constantly try to better yourself.
You are also a seeker of knowledge and often buried in books.

You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life.
You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world.
A good friend, you always give of yourself first.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


...maybe I can just buy a wagon and a car / horse and start a life as a gypsy.....

Jante loven (The Jante law)

Lately I have been thinking a little about bloggs and different ways of expressing oneself and being visible to the public.
You see I have also been calling my blog "my little exhibitionistic diary" and that has led to some discussions. Also I have been getting comments about my blog on mail and in one to one chats from people who have been reluctant to do comment in the blog itself.
I am sure a lot of people have very good reasons for not wanting to "go public" with their opinions, but I am in the belifs that also a thing very well known here in scandinavia called "Janteloven" or "the Jante Law" as it would be in english is laughing in the background.
The Jante law is taken from a book written by Aksel Sandemose which is called "En flyktning krysser sitt spor" (A very negative and pessimistic book which I never got through trying to read it at the age of 15)
But here in scandinavia the book is not as well know, as the law itself and what it stands for.
These opinions floods through our society in conscious and subconscious manners, and they are one of the largest threats to acceptance and respect between people, because as I see it , they are the basis of such things as rasism and predjudice etc...
It`s also an important facto in the supression of the expression of the free individual.

Here is a translation to english from norwegian:

The Jante Law - by Aksel Sandemose

1. Thou shalt not presume that thou *art* anyone [important].

2. Thou shalt not presume that thou art as good as *us*.

3.Thou shalt not presume that thou art any wiser than *us*.

4.Thou shalt never indulge in the conceit of imagining that thou

art better than *us*.

5. Thou shalt not presume that thou art more knowledgeable than *us*.

6. Thou shalt not presume that thou art more than *us* [in any way]

7.Thou shalt not presume that that *thou* art going to amount to anything.

8.Thou art not entitled to laugh at *us*.

9.Thou shalt never imagine that anyone cares about *thee*.

10.Thou shalt not suppose that thou can teach *us* anything.

The best thing would be to make the anti-Jante law - and spread it widely over the world :D

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Hmmm...nice one :)


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla


Oh, I feel exhausted.
Have been fighting with my mother again, I am really tired of it.
It seems she will never give up trying to control me, and I will never give up not letting her controll me.
I will not even give her 1%, and that seems to be the ever returning issue.

I know that some things that can seem like control from her side is actually just trying to help too, but it`s hard meeting that with an open heart, when I am so used to defend myself against the control and "attacks", ever since I was a kid.
Seems also like I have developed a lot of anti-control issues, I get freaked out if somebody try to mess with my freedom.

I know it´s never one way only, there is alwasy two sides of the story, and I know I am not always easy either.
She has issues with my "hippie" attitude. I guess I am not always so realistick in that sence.
I just want peace, love and happyness, ha ha!

Monday, July 25, 2005

"Lumos" and somebody dead

OMG...this Rowling-woman is going to kill me!
This is too exciting :D
I am sitting in the darkness unable to put down this book.
Well, at least I can do something about the darkness: "Lumos!"

Now I am done with the book.....(*sighs*, she should be forced to write new ones forever, I don't know what I am going to do if she stops, it will be like when Watterson stopped, *huuuge sighs, tearfilled eyes*)

I don`t really believe that X* is actually dead.
Well, I didn`t believe it when Sirius died either, that time I thought he might come back since he died in such a mysterious manner.
I mean he just fell through the gates of death.
This is highly linked to mythology - and like the story of Orpheus and Eurydice, I thought, well, maybe in the next book somebody could bring him back.
(And I wont believe that wont happen until I have put down the LAST book of Harry Potter ever written)

But this time, with X* dyeing, it just seems like an act. I really don`t believe that XX* could kill him, OH no! It nearly seemed planned by X and XX.
I din`t even cry while reading it (I could nearly see the letters in the book while reading about Sirius´ death), cause I was just not convinced it wasn`t true, just an act.
If it`s not I will get really M-A-D!

*I will not write the names, so I don`t destroy it for people who hasn`t read it yet.

I must say I loved this score, have always felt Hobbes was a kindred spirit, he, he.

You're Hobbes!
You're Hobbes. First of all, the makers of this
quiz would like to congratulate you. You have
our seal of approval. You are kind,
intelligent, loving, and good-humoredly
practical. You're proud of who you are. At the
same time, you're tolerant of those who lack
your clearsightedness. You're always playful,
but never annoying. For these traits, you are
well-loved, and with good cause.

Which famous feline are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Transcendental experience

I was in the forrest again, walking on the path that was made by human feet.
After having walked there for a while I was passing a spot in the forrest where the light seemed to be stronger and was nearly flooding in through the trees. Between the tall grass I could see that it was filled with purple flowers
and the green moss on the trunks was shining brightly against this purple color. I felt an instant call to go in there - away from the path.

It was like a little home of its own in there
a place surrounded by tall trees hiding it from the world.
I opened myself up to this place, walking slowly taking it all in.
...a cricket singing a soft song in the grass, the brightness of the colors flashing towards me.
When swiping my hands across the flowers and leafs, I could feel them caressing me roughly on the skin, leaving touches of both pain and tickling pleasure
The smells of the forrest , of moss and green grass, of mud and flowers were pressing strong on my soul and nearly overwhelming me.

I just walked through it silently and the moment touched me deeply
the beauty of nature and life made me cry

I have had some of these moment before, were life seems to nearly stand still. Were all colors and smells are nearly painfully beautifull and all my senses are as awake as they can ever manage to be
Its a feeling of life in its strongest ways - a total grasp of the moment.

In these moments I feel religious
but in a different way than you might think.
I feel the strong connection to the earth. I feel my belonging to it, sharing it, being a part like all of us that makes it complete.
I really felt like one with all my surroundings for a while and it left an impression on my heart.

I felt a yearn to live like this - just being close to nature - it was nearly like a calling
....and as I walked out of this place, the feeling, the smells and the colors of the forrest lingered in my heart
And when passing the same street as the previous week* ,my thoughts were quite the opposite as the last time...
I was filled up with life

*See posting last Sunday


Today I am a tiny little green troll with bushy hair, who thinks the world is large and scary.
I want to hide under a big, covering blanket in a warm and friendly home.
I will be lying under there in the darkness...
where nobody can see me or know that I excist,
just listening to the voices of people who love eachother....Curled up in a littel fuzsy-green lump.
That would have been nice.

Pablo Neruda


And it was at that age. Poerty arrived

in search of me. I don`t know. I don`t know where it came from.

from winter or a river

I don`t know how or when

no , they were not voices, they

were not

words, nor silence,

but from the street I was summoned

from the branches of night

abruptly from the others,

among violent fires

or returning alone,

there I was withouh a face

and it tuched me


Saturday, July 23, 2005


Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

This was funny....but I`ve hardly been around at all :(

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

I love this poster - just wanted to share it

The colors on the trees

Friday, July 22, 2005

Different opinions thrown out randomly

(Not all of these are my PERSONAL opinion)

The world is not nessecarely "real", the only thing you can know for real is that you are experiencing it as real.

We are in a natural world, imposing un-natural things on it

Our perception color the way we see the world, so in this context you are choosing your own misery or happyness

We try to make our lives easier through sorting and labelling complexeties into simplicities

An event is never the same to different persons, but is highly interpreted through their subconscious way of "wanting" to see life which is developed through past experiences

We are all forzed to repeat psychological patterns through our subconscious will untill they are solved, so in this context we are also all responsible for our own happyness or missery

"Good" and "bad" are standards created by humans to avoid total anarchy of behaviour

Organized religion is made by man to cope with the fear of death and lonelyness

We are all connected in both psychological, spiritual and matherialistick ways, this meens that if you do good to others you also do good to yourself, and vice versa

Trying to control things in a sertain direction will only make it go in a different one - letting things flow will make thing go in a direction that in the end will be the most beneficial one.

The world is knitted together in an intricate web where all beings fit in, therefore respect of all liveforms is vital and necessary.

There can be no ultimate thruths known to humankinds, since we always will be trapped in our way of seeing the world as humans (not objective) only freed from our minds that would be possible.
-Therefore all these things might possably also be rubbish.

*Krooked smiles*


Theres a thunderstorm visiting my neighbourhood!
I must say I am most delighted for this call!

A good thunderstorm allways inspires me in a lot of different ways
*Evil grin*


What am I going to do this term?
I cant make up my mind

Go to Barcelona and start photoschool?
Go to San Fran and work or try to get into a school?
Or just travel the world?
Start a gypsy-life?

Anyone with a suggetstion?
Or a better alternative?
Or maybe somebody wants to join in - in any of these :D


Wednesday, July 20, 2005



and now even an other of my dream-men shows up. This is my lucky day



I am talking to a very sexy guy today, both in mind and body....rooowwwrrrr...I do likey.......

See baby, you made it into my blog ;) he he !

The two sides of beauty and some library books

Ahhhh...Yet an other wonderfull day in this wondefull world.
People who read this blog must think I am schizofrenic, and sometimes I must say I am wondering the same too, ha ha.

Well, the world sure is a geat place, there`s no quetion about that. It`s just that sometimes looking at the world can be a littel upsetting. But its surely filled with light and darkness, somethng that makes it beautifull.
I don`t know why but I have alwasy been very drawn to the darkness in it too. Even through "simple" expressions like clotes and paintingstyle.

To me its somethig so extremely beautifull in the total darkness, one of the reasons is that the light shines on its brightest there.
Imagine a cold cellar deep under the ground. How much value wouldn`t a small beam of warm bright light through a crack haeve to a person down there? And how beautifull wouldnt that beam sparkle in front of his eyes? How clear it woould be..... he would NEVER take it for granted!

What would the light EVER be without the darkness? It would be non-exsistant...Light wouldnt be light anymore, it would just be something that was always there, withouht its opposite to set its value. So I dont praise the light more than the darkness, in balance they are both truly beautifull and make this world complete.

I alwasy get extremely attracted to the persons who has understood this and that has a balance of this in their personality....well, amongst other things.....

But today my mind is more occupied with the small beautifull things in the world actually.
Outside the window I am sitting now is a tree that has a wonderfull pattern of moss in greenish-blue patterns on it. It makes me smile :)

....and today I am going to the library and I am looking forward to it like a littel kid...yeeey. Going to rent some books about chaos theory (something I have thougth about for a really long time) how to make viking jewelry, metaphysics and some comix and DVDs and probably soemthng else I grab from the shelfs by accident.

Then I am just going to sit silently, watch the rain and make yewelry in celitc patterns all alone...a wondefull. calming thought.
I am in the introverted mood and it suits me very well. No passionate outbursts today, ha ha.

I wish you all a beautifull day and dont forget to see the littel things that can make you smile.

Lots of hugs to all

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

LET THEM BURN in their own capitalistick selfish littel homes MUHAHHAHA

Now I am drunk.

I dont like the green heading color, why is it green? I havent been able to change it dammit.....light green..... so boring.

Well, I wass thinking........

I was talking to this guyonline today.... one of the few I talk to quite often on a regular basis. He has such a good heart., If a lot of people in the world was like him, it woud all be a littel easier.

And who am I?

Am I really good?

and wht is it to be good?

Does good really exsict?

Why do we all need so much to put labels on thngs? See thigs in white and balck. Its sad....... yes its kinda sad.

It`s like we dont wont to be bothered to take the time to see the comlplicated and paradoxal things in life so we just put a lable on it so we wont have to think that much anymore and pass on to the next.

Why cant we just be open to life?????

Well, I guess I just did it mysef now. I said :

" he is good...... the world would be better if a lot of people were like him" ( so I am implying that the world is filled with bad pople)......well, now I am doing some sorto of too easy logic I see. I will have to look at this closer when I am not drunk - tomorrow.

Well, what really upsets me is that peole are so selfish....

........ like here in norway, what matters t them when they wote is if the party and person they wote for will give them lower taxes and cheeper liquor....just theír own small lives, that is,

They dont give a damn about the poor or the sufferning or the lower parts in the society. And then they go around coplaing about the prices...

"Oh mY gOd , its so expencive here in norway, and the taxes are waaay too much" ...." and the government have such high taxes on tobacco and alcohol" they ever think abut the purpose for it or how much they also benift from it actually and all the others who needs it????

and they go back to thire big houes and cars and asses loaded with money......


Hello pople. can you stick your littel selfabsorbed heads out of your own worlds for one second and see that this damned world is biigger than your own littel house and kids and husband and dog....ARRRRRRRRHHJJHH!!!

I meen, seriously, I dont make 80% of what the get in salary and I pay my taxes with honor, cause I know its a necessaty in this society. I know it will contribute to the wellfare off ALL! (Well, some of the governmets is some shitheads, especially here in Norway right now - I would really have preffered it if the government was socialistick, I would feel my money was spent in a better way then, but anyway, you get my point)

Oh, and when i think about that I just want to ascape...sell all my stuff an movee into a cave somewhere......

silly me
so childish

just run away and leave then to roth in thier selfishness

would be good for them


and one day they will wake up maybe,

and undersaand ...

......and see how this selfish, capitalistick , ego-sentrick society is a sick and disturbed one.
Based on selfish values and american (sorry, guys, nnot all of you, but you get my point I am sure) shallow narsisistick masturbation of our EGOS!!!!

..... but then it will be to late

and then I will be alone and old with black rotten teeth in my littel cold cave
- laughing an evil and lonely wicked (and maybe a littel crazy) laughter (of course i woúld have lost all my sense of compassion and pitty) ....and think : "! FUCK them!"....finally they got it, but I hope its to late and that the entire worls will just burn under their selfish asses. And that they will roll around in all the emptiness they have created inside from this selfseraching stupidity. MUHAHAHHA!!!!!

Thats what I will think......and its a nice thougth.

Even thougth I know I will never meen it 10%......... its a nice thought...

Would be good to be that evil and not at all care!!!!!!!

...even just for half an hour

Taoist mood with Harry Potter

I have just awokened.

I got some comments yesterday....yyyyeeeyyy!

Today I have a empty cotton head, its kinda thoughts. I like it like that, the taoist in me is very pleased. Though the analytic in there somewhere is probably bored. Well, let it be bored, it cant get all the attention, ha ha

Yesterday I baught the new Harry Potter book.(*me holding it tightly - mumbeling in a possesive and moderly, lovable way*). Need I say moore? Going back to the reading now.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Facinating death by car

I want to tell about something that happened to me today:

I was walking in the forrest today, and after about two hours of walking I came out of it.
I came out to a braod road where it passed a lot of traffic.
Its a very strange feeling to come in such sudden changes of the environment.

I was standing at the side of the road and a huge car caught my vision. I couldnt help to notice it. It was pretty far away but it came at a really fast speed.

I have always been very good at calculating how fast I need to walk to get ecxactly over on th eother side of the road in time before the car would hit me, so I have never bothered to wait when I see a car comming. I think its the result of growing up in the middle of the town, playing hide and seek behind cars and having to develop a way to get well around them.

My father has predicted that I might die in a traffic-accident because of me tendency to just walk directly out in the raod when theres a lot of cars arriving, but I do have the feeling well based in me so I know it will go well. (Except if theres some looney behind the weels some time, then my father will get his predistion proved I guess).

Well, I saw this car and went directly into the road...walking a littel slower now than I usually would, I wanted to get a sertain feeling. Cause the thougths that came into my mind when I walked into the raod was this:

What if this time I got hit by the car? What would it feel like? What would I look like? On the road? Maybe it would be a really bad accident? Maybe I would loose some of my limbs? Maybe an arm would get detached.?

I could see the sight of it in my head. Me all smeared out on the pavemnt.

Fresh blood running out of me. Maybe some of my internal guts pooring out of my body,

- smashed, full of dirt and mud from the car.

It has some sort of beastial beauty over it.

I dont know why, but I found the thought facinating. (Not that I havent had it before)

..... and I walked really slowly to really get the feeling of this thought into my system.
I watched the car closely as it came nearer and nearer me....
imagined the metal hit my soft skin, crushing through my bones. How would the sound be?

...... and then I was over on the other side of the road. And the car passed me directly after in a fast flash.

Dont misundersand me, I am not suicidal AT ALL! I love my life, but theres something so facinating about death and also about distruction that really appeals to me in a mobide kind of way.

To see a beeing. That has its beliefs, its truths, its passions, alive and full of blood and thoughts and emotions. IN ONE SECOND this being is not anymore,

its distructed,

its this thing lying on the pavemnt,

that will roth

and stink

and maybe be eaten up by some animals.

Call me sick, but It facinates me.

The paradoxal cruelty of life has its own beauty.

Sunday, July 17, 2005



Just wanted you to welcome you to my blog!

Hope you will enjoy taking a ride into my mind.

...and please get back to me if you also are a person who likes to climb trees

(or, you could also get back to me if you have something to ask, but I do prefer the treeclimbing though, he he)



Introdusing: Wathersongs

I will now and then share some inventions I have done. Here is one of the most recent ones:

I have invented a new style of musicalexperience. Do the following:
Turn off the light in your bathroom. Go in there and lock the door carefully behind you (Now you are trapped) Feel your way to the bathtub or shower and get in there

1 Take a moment to feel how exciting it can be to be all in the drakness and see nothing. (Wonder if there`s something moving in the corner?)
2 Then magine that you are a blind person trapped in a room by a cruel purple monster. This monster is about 2 meters tall and goes by the name Franklin. He has a deep love for weirdness, green tophats and music.
3 Franklin will only allow you to come out of the bathromm if you produse some wonderfull and strange, original "music" there for him
4 Okay, the next step would be to turn on the shower ( I hope you remembered to take off your clotes, but if you didnt , that is okay too, it will just add some points to the experience part of it, he he) and direct the wather to your forehead so that the wather will be running all down your face and if you have the right aim of it, it will make some bubbely noises if you try to speak. Now sing one of your favourite songs ;)

I am sure the monster will let you out after this, if not you have done soemthing wrong. (then contct me as fast as possible, I will give you firther instructions on how to calm down Franklin and also still manage to produce wonderfull wathermusic)

It might be a good idea to bring your computer into the bathroom in case you end up in an emergencysituation and need my emediate assistance and advice)

Good luck!!!


I was visiting my mother the other day
She looked at me in a really strange way and said "Sometimes Åsa, I kinda wonder if you have ADHD"

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! (My only comment to that so far)

Some thoughts in the middle of the night

It is strange how we see personlity as something fixed and static in our lives. It`s highly flexible. I think this thought have made me confused many times, because it has made me want so much to grasp who I am. And in some moments it`s like you can really feel it, you get deeper glimpses or insights of a sort. Almost like a cernel (is that the word? kjerne in norwegain) that is the truth of you. Maybe there really si such a thing? A constnt deep inside that never changes?
Something like the Jungian self? Or maybe I have missunderstood that term (Note : gotta read Jung over again, it`s been many years)

I read somewhere sombody claiming that chnge is the ONLY constant. Hmmmm, it sure is an interesting thought.
I don`t know.
It`s hard when you start to see all the relatives. Like the old philosophers like Hume. When we start to even question our senses, the world and its realities start to crumble up. Yeah, like they said, "If a tree falls in the forrest and nobody is to hear it, does it really make a sound?"
I go between having thoughts of the world as something highly materialistic .... illutions created of our mind.
I guess the best answer would be something in between.

But thrugh history we see these thougths again and again. Like in Buddhism : Maya, the big vail of illusions that is the sensing world, that keeps us from seeing the real.

Hmm, I am in one of those thinking too much moods now I guess. And also using a lot of silly references, why have I done that? It`s like saying : my thoughts gets more interesting if I have Hume to back me up! HA, ha, kinda pathetick.

No, I guess thats not why I mention it, but sometimes it`s just when you ahve had all these thougths, and you went to the library and searched in the book for the topic (Yes, before computers was so common) and find something there and they said the same things.
(Sometimes a littel dissapointing too, if you suddenly were in delution of having created a new theory, and guess what, of course some dude has written a whole bunch of stuff about it already, dammit, ha ha)

Well, no I drifted away from my point. It was nice, some sortof comfort in a way, it`s been a long time since I have done that....guess I hvae been giving more a shit about if somebody thought the same things. Or just knew that of course someone did. But the good thing about it I remember was, that they took it firther...yes, thast was awesome. To get an expansion on your thoughts....

Well, I think I am going out to look a litel at the stars now. damn, I sound like such a clisjee, it`s nearly cute.
Goonight everybody out there who never will read this. And goodnight to those of you who read it too.