The battle within

A re-post

Reason- You have ruled long enough now. Finally I have something to say in here too

ID/heart- yes, so I see, and I find it really boring, and you know very well that I still have the strongest rule of us two
reason- Yes, and it makes me sad, SHE is going nowhere as long as she is just listening to you. You are just a life of illusions and dreams

ID- Ha ha ha, yes, but it sure is fun

Reason- Life isn´t just fun, it cant be just fun. Sometimes you must do things that are not fun too

ID- Blah blah blah, so I have heard you speak a million times. Its bullshit. You sound like my mother. Life can be just fun! Its what you make of it. And I am not going to waste it letting it be boring. Then I will juts go somewhere else where the fun is

Reason- I know you will, and this is what stops you from growing. This is what keeps you a child, unable to deal with the world, unable to be responsible

ID- You got it babe, I don´t want to be responsible. And whats wrong with being a child? They have more fun and are more open to the world, they are more real!!!

Reason- You are not being real in that sense. If you had some grounding and foundations to your thoughts it would be wonderful. But you are just soaring around like a boat without oars, led by wherever the current is taking you. If you could integrate that playfulness of yours with responsibility you would grown up in the real sense. You would be a wise child in the world, not a just an unconscious one - not just a child clinging to its own illusions

ID- mmmm. So what? I don´t want all that. Its too boring. And I really cant take boring, it frustrates me, I need action! "Responsibility", just the word spells out b-o-r-i-n-g! I want things the be easy and fun. I can play forever!

Reason- Well, then do that. But you will always stay the same and you will not change. Also you will be deeply alone, cause there are no real relationships or friendships in that way. Just satisfaction in the moment. No strings, no commitment, just fun and pleasure. You think your loved ones are really loved ones, but you really don´t see them, cause the are just there for your needs and for the moment. You will have people beside you yes, but you will still be alone, cause you are not sacrificing anything, not really.

ID-I know.. Its always been like that

Reason- Because you don´t want to have responsibility. Because you want to stay a child. Because you just want to play. Because if somebody makes you feel obligated in a way, you get scared. You feel like you can only do the things you want to do, this is pure egoism. This is imprisoning yourself. You think it is freedom and being real, but its not. Its the pure opposite.
Things can´t always be fun, people can´t be totally free in the way you see it, cause its an imposed freedom that forces you to not have any strings. Don´t you see the paradox. You are not free, you are ruled by your own rules of having no rules.

ID-I know, now you make me sad

Reason- pffft, you just want to feel sorry for yourself now. Its another way of being a child and not taking responsibility for yourself. Be responsible for your own life. Take it in your hands!
I know it is a huge thing to do. I know it is scary. It is the greatest responsibility of them all. To see that you can do anything in your life. You can choose happiness, you can choose running.
You choose what you make of this great gift you have been given called life.

Choose it now!

Don´t blame the world or other people for things not being right! Look at yourself if things arent right and do soething about it. It is your choice. See it now! Stop the hiding. It is time!

ID- I will try. I am trying

Reason- Dont try! DO IT!