The voices around

The voices in my head are bored. They are wondering if maybe a catastrophe of some kind could make it better of maybe a little quarrel, but there is nobody to disagree with around here. I reach out for my hand, but it seems like the meaning initially was that my hand was supposed to reach out for something, obviously my mind is confused and scared because of the voices. They say they will travel soon, something that relives me quite a bit, I hope they will go far, far away, so this unsettled feeling will leave me.
Maybe I can tear down something, or destroy something I say to myself. It would feel better then. Tiny little green ants are scattering up and down my arms, my legs, my muscles, all of my body, the walls, my entire room. I want to scream but at the same time I am calm, and I tell myself that it is quite silly to scream, since there is no reason to do so whatsoever and green ants doesn't exist and also, to think about it - in a sertain light, they even look a little funny running up and down my legs - Even though they dont exsist I mean.You have gone crazy now the voices says, but then I smile at them and laugh out loud. Hahahahaha! you are so stupid, if I was crazy I wouldnt be talking to you! - I answer. Or was that the wrong answer?I think I will not talk to them anymore now, they seem quite mean. I like to cry, somebody says, I like to be sad, I like to be angry, I like to be happy, I like pain, I like it all. Who the fuck is that talking I yell to the wall. The wall doesnt answer, so obviously it wasnt him. Well, talking or not, he sure looks mean, I say to myself.Damn, this corrupt world, its just full of mean walls and sneaky little assholes that want something from you, when do they not want anything?When?Alwasy something, if they dont want to fuck you, they want to use you to feel good in other ways, assholes! I am going to live alone in a cave, the voice says again. Don't be stupid, I answer the wall. How could you do that? I think you are pretty stuck here, you know. Then I laugh out loud, (I am being quite unsympathetic with him.) No, its not that difficult, the voice answers, its just to go, who can stop me??? Well, first of all, its kinda stops you a little that you have no legs, I think, but I say nothing, let him live in his own illusions, We all need some dreams, dont we? - Even walls do!

But at the present moment, I am just mad about everybody and anybody in general, even the wall - although I got a little pithy for him too. But no - damn him also. Right now I wanna be the shallow bitch. Its such a relief. Going around not even daring to step on aunts can be quite too much at times.

PS: For those of you who takes things a little too literally sometimes, remember: Blogging is often fiction :P
xxx
Aasa