Searching for A meaning

OKC used to have me described as "more energetic than females her age" and suddenly now, its "less energetic".
And the strange part is, they are actually right. I feel like I have lost all my zest and bouncyness here in Spain. Or maybe it is not Spain, maybe its just a phase, maybe its me, and not an outer factor.
Anyhow, I feel very grey, and down, and things feel pointntless. Its kinda like a depression, but not as strong.
Here the other day I got some extreme headaches, and then I thought (cause I always think like that for some silly reason) "Maybe I have a lethal decease" And normally this thought would freak me out, but all of a sudden I was like "mew, oh well, I don't see a point for living anyway, so...."
And I think that might be it. I don't have "A point". People say that they live just for living, or whatever, but I need a point! I really cant live without a point, and I feel like I have been searching in vain for it for so long.
I am sure my point of view is silly and single-minded right now, but this really really gets to me.

When being in nature, that is the only times I feel that life has a point, then I am relaxed and one with it in a way, I am not stressing out to find a point then, as for some reason it suddenly feel meaningful.
Maybe I should just move into the Forrest?
Or die slowly of asphalt and car-fumes...
xxx
Aasa