An outburst of rage

Whats up with the world these days???
Wheres the genuinness? Wheres the knights of truth? Before there were a lot of barbarions, but at least honor and truth had a high place!
And whats up with the men? I am so damned tired of this indesicivness? Of passivity and hiding!
If I meet up with a guy he asks me ..."what do I want to do", because "it doesnt matter to him at all" and "I could just take him to a place I like".
Where is the spine guys? Do you think I will get mad if you show some personality? If you show that you want something?
Do you want me to be your girlfriend and your mommy? Somebody there for you to not take responsability in your life? Be a baby again?
Grow up Goddamit, I am not going to be that one. Show me a guy that can stand up for himself and his opinions no matter what it takes!

And whats with the shallow comments? Do you think a pretty face takes you anywhere at all? Do you really think it makes a difference? Is so sad looking at the people bowing for beaty.
This is what animals do, showing of their pretty, shiny featers.
But I am not here to talk shit about animals, we have a lot to learn from them in many ways

But this spinelesness....I mean, like this guy I got to know here in Barcelona.
I was in his place and saw he had this little thing with a marijuana-leaf carved on it, so I asked him if he smoked. He instantly replied no. A few months lafter he told me that he actually did, after he had learned that so did I. And he said he had said no before because he didnt know what I liked and preferd at that time before.

I mean, seriously people? Arent you tired of hiding? Pretending to be what the others want you to be? Do you think I am looking for people to get to know that are exactly like myself? What kinda narsisist would do that?
This spinlessness makes me sick, Theres a lot of weaknessess that I can approve of and even think is good to feel, but this kind, I cant. Its so small and petty.
Hiding yourself because you think somebody else will not like you. Pretending to be like them. Do you think they like you then? They just like the one you are playing thats all.

And do you really think everybody must like you? Is it such a scary feeling that somebody might not?
Petty, petty, petty!
If you feel soemthing, why not tell it? What is so bad with honesty?

Why are you peopel like this? It make me not want to be human.It makes me want to go to some other planet where people dare to be themself without compromises.
Damn you!!!!
I know I am silly to cast the first stone, silly and stupid. But right now I just want to be. And I dont want to understand why people are such cowards, as I see them right now
I am just mad and I had enough of it!!!!