Your silence

It is your silence daddy, I find it again and again. It is almost strange how it appears. Do I create it around me, in the men I get know?
Your silence returns to me, like a boomerang through time, and hits me right in the stomach, in the heart. And what can I do against your silence daddy? Your coldness?
Just wait? Let it flow over me like a surprising wave of salt water, that fills my nose and mouth until it feels like I am going to drown?

I live in a world filled with butterflies. My world is beautiful daddy, it has a sun, that is brilliantly shining, I hide under giant mushrooms, make little passages inside the trees and sleep in soft moss. I love life, I love the beauty of it.
But your silence shutters my world, breaks it like a thin leaf of paper in your fist. And take with it the air I breathe, until I am slowly strangled in your world of rejection. Until it is not your world anymore, it is mine.
And it is not you who is coming anymore, it is people with different faces. They come with your silence, your unavailability, and pour it over me like pieces of broken glass.
Leave me alone...let me play in the hundred meter long grass, and hide under the colorful mushrooms.
That is where I belong, not under your shattering silence.

Leave me alone
I wont seek you anymore

I promise
to try

I let you go now, I set you free from my heart