Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The strenght of weakness

"Now I want you to listen to me closely. You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Do you understand? Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We have all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the power we choose to act on. That's who we really are."
- Sirius in Harry Potter

- I have felt one thing to be very true; the grandest of strengths is daring to accept personal weakness, in front of an other...but especially and maybe before the latter is even possible - to yourself...Give up the fight and see your humanity in the eyes, shatter the perfect image you strive for, dare to show hurt, vulnerability, all those feelings we in general try to hide so well, but still all carry somewhere inside.
But I guess this is something that needs to come from within...I just had it come to me strongly one day. I had of course heard people say it many times before, thought it sounded good and true, but it is a huge difference in understanding something with your head, and getting a understanding deep inside...like an answer that arises from the core of yourself.
Can life ever be about winning? Gaining power? Be the best one? Be the prettiest one? The smartest? The most desired? Well, of course yes, it will make you feel great, cause in that moment you feel it is overwhelmingly wonderful and strong. It is a feeling of pleasure and winning. But then it fades and you always need more. For some reason these things never last long, these outer "winnings" fade quickly, and one needs refill. It is an eternal chase because the feeling is there merely in the minute you achieve it. So you need it again. And in that way it never stops. You get into a circle of wanting more, which is like an endless spiral moving upwards and that makes you thirst more for every conquest. So, in a way you win, but in an other you loose, again and again and again and get more caught into the net the more you play it. Until one day, I imagine, you get to a place where this is the only things that matters to you, and that is what you live for...a true nightmare. You have forgotten the core of life.

I think you can win, but in the long run and in a totally different way...rather opposite actually. And this is the strongest battle your soul might ever win too. You can except defeat. You can give the battle over. You can unclench the fist that holds around power, success, beauty and all that, and give in to what we really are...human beings with weaknesses and strengths. We are not either or....we are.
I don´t mean to sounds like a preacher now, but maybe I do. I just had this come to me so strongly today and I just needed to express it in words. And maybe, give somebody else a spark of inspiration on the road they are walking too...who knows?

Merry Xmas everybody
Warm hugs
~ Åsa

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