How we choose to shape our lives :-)

Like muddy water our hearts await cleansing;
turbid or clear, its nature is of our choosing.
Black or white, right or wrong -
these things come from the heart and its training:
Destiny is shadowed by the color of our intentions.
- Tao Te Ching

Two Wolves - A Cherokee Parable

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life...

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

"One is evil - he is anger, lies, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"

The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."

Just being

I want to make today's post about something I have thought a lot about through life. About our relation to the so called "negative" emotions we have.

All from childhood, we learn in this society, that some feelings are "negative". A natural cause from seeing something as negative, is trying to avoid or escape these things. Also we are taught that some feelings are positive - joy, happiness, and comfort. As a consequence, these are the feelings being socially accepted to express. Because of this, a lot of us also try to focus on these feelings - we don't want to be sad, we want to be happy.
Happiness is the ultimate feeling that we all are journeying towards - that we are taught is the ultimate goal. Society teaches it to us and the message is easy to pick up everywhere.
You might think that this is something you have decided yourself, because happiness feels good, and sadness not, but just take a moment here and dig a little deeper. Don't just throw it away with that thought before you have read what I have to say.

So, we are taught to strive for happiness**....and finally, in the western societies, it is what we all are searching for. Think about it....what you want to find in a new job, with money, with travels, with discovering yourself, with a partner, a new place to live, children. We are taught that we need satisfaction, and through satisfaction comes happiness, and "happiness is life".

The search for happiness is also found in different religious or philosophical movements.
What makes us happy and how can we find it?
Or the answers are already given to us through recipes of how to make us happy.
One angle is telling us that love is the only true and pure feeling. Love is what we should all fill ourself with, and love will take away hate and negativity.
Is it really that simple?
Is it really true that all you need is love?
Seeing things trough these glasses of reality, I realize that to me they look tinted on the outside, so I with them I will see the world colored, but not as it is.
Can we really set fixed values on feelings?

Now, I have always been a strong believer in the power of love and especially compassion, but does it really take us forward to surprise parts of our own natural instinct and feelings? I am not saying that if we get angry, we always have to express it. Sometimes I feel that being part of growing and getting emotionally mature is the ability to actually be able to contain your own feelings and feel them internally, without necessarily having to express them externally (but neither surpress them). To have room for your own sentiments inside yourself.

I can look at this strictly from an angle of experience....Let us say that you feel sadness. Is it uncomfortable? If it is, have you asked yourself WHY it is uncomfortable?
Is it the sadness in itself that really is uncomfortable and a "negative" feeling, or is it the frames you have created around it, that is making it so?
Maybe you think that I am taking this too far?
Maybe you think that you could not possibly have such power over feelings, but just take a minute and try to look at it, for real!
When you are sad, what is the focus you have?
Do you allow yourself to be sad?
Do you let it in without judgment?
Or do you fight it or try to find ways to be happy again?
Do you define it as a negative place state of mind, or are you comfortable just letting it exist?

Is it possible that the struggle AGAINST the sadness is what makes it uncomfortable as a feeling and not the sadness in itself?
I can honestly say that I have had times when I felt sad and at the same time perfectly good. Actually, the feeling of sadness was a state of mind I "enjoyed" in that moment.
Is it possible that your reactions and perceptions of this feelings is what is making it "negative" and uncomfortable?
Could the feeling in itself - "sadness", be just an altered state of mind, with no minus or plus labeled to it in reality. Just something different on an emotional scale, that changes.
isn't change a natural cause in nature? How can we just stay in one thing all the time?

If you look at nature - at anything in nature, it seems to have a built in strive for balance.
It can be found everywhere.
Just take your sight. (You can try this out.)
If you take something of a color (chose a strong, vibrant one, just to make the example clearer) and hold it about 30 cm from your face. Then hold your gaze at it for about one minute without blinking. Then, when you take away your stare from it, look directly at something white. What you instantly will see is the natural opposite color to the color you were looking at. Direct oppositions in color neutralizes each other and creates balance. You eye is producing a fake opposite to the color you were looking at. This is your eyes way of creating balance, as the rest of nature also does.
Nature strives for balance, so why should we struggle against it?
Emotions come in us like the tide of the water. If it goes up, it is natural that it must go down later. So why do we fight it?
If everything flows in a natural stream of balance, cant we just go with it?
Maybe we can look at our emotions and not see them as being good or bad...But maybe we can see them for just being.

If anybody disagrees or has a different point of view I would be very interested to hear it, so don't hesitate to make your comment against me.

~ Aasa

**read: happiness for the ego

Like a tiny flower

Remember the little things that can make your days shine -
The color of a leaf, a smile from a stranger, the sun through your window,
a friend from the past returning to your life
These are the things that matter. The love that you give, the warm words that you share.
Why hold on to negative things when we can pull ourselves up with positive words and smiles? Hold on to the good. Spread it around you, you will see how everybody is reaching out for it. I do believe all human just want the good deep down. If we just remember who we really are, our true nature, we can spread this goodness further and further out.
Many hugs to all of you out there.
- Aasa

HOMEPAGE

Hei alle sammen!

Jeg har en ny hjemmside! Her kan du se fler av bildene mine og lese litt mer om meg og hva jeg jobber med.

Jeg leier også ut fotostudio i Oslo. Alt dette finner du på siden - bare følg LINK :-)

Hello everybody!

I have a new webpage for my work! Here you can see samples of my photos, read about my work and also get information about the studio I am renting out.

Have a look! :-)

Look around you....

Do you really see? Do you use your eyes and look through
...not just on? All these pieces that are built around us. Forming the castle we call society
What is it there to protect you agsinst?
Life?
Do you run around in your own circle? - thinking your forced way was created by yourself? Did you ever see the barrs that fenced you in? Did you ever look out and longed to break free? Did you ever question the things you have done? Did you ever realize the slow death of your soul?
entrapped in a soft, gentle, suffocating loveembrace - with school, money, career, house, loans, papers, satisfaction, ego
a slow distruction
a gentle dieing
of the free, lovely, playfull being that you are
Why do you seek these things? Do you think they will make you happy? - more complete? - fulfilled? At peace at last?
Do you think a marriage contract will make you love more?
Do you think being beautifull will make others like the real you better?
Do you think knowing time will make you more in control?
Do you think a house will make you feel safer?
Do you think prestige makes your selfworth deepen?
Do you think money will make you happier and more free?
Do you think having the things other people have will make you more accepted?

Do you think any of these things will last?

Let us run away together! ;-)

Into the wild

"There is pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society where none intrudes,
By the deep sea and the music in its roar;
I love not man the less, but Nature more."
— Lord Byron

I love nature like nothing else. Maybe because I feel it is the one thing that can get me back to the thing we all hunt around after when it comes down to it, the feeling of a meaning with our lives - a feeling of importance, an answer without a question. So, that is how nature make me feel, an answer arises inside of me in the forest, in its stillness, babbling brooks and shimmering lights. A feeling of purpose coming from nowhere and arriving within. I am at peace there, and I need nothing more than the trees and existence itself.
Because of this I have always been touched deeply by different medias describing this feeling, such as films, books and poetry. One of these were the film "Into the wild"

Into the Wild is a film based on the 1996 non-fiction book of the same name by Jon Krakauer about the adventures of Christopher McCandless.
Plot:
Christopher McCandless is a top student at Emory University and an athlete. After graduating, he decides to give $24,000 of his savings account to Oxfam and later, to burn all the money in his wallet. He hitchhikes to Alaska to live in the wild. During his adventure, he encounters several unique people that change his life before he faces the dangers of wilderness.
A story of a man who left society behind in his search for truth. The truth within himself and the truth in being.

Thought about the film:

It is a story as old as stories themselves, a theme which we have seen or heard in many variations before - A man leaving his old, safe life behind, going into the unknown, looking for true meaning. And many movies have also been made of the subject.
I am tempted to call these movies the "Carpe Diem-films". The stories that are meant to show you something deeper, that is whispering softly, or shouting out loud to you - "seize the day!" Disappointingly often these films are just a stew of sentimentalism that hardly ever seem heartfelt or genuine (e.g: the movie "The bucket list", featuring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman)
But "Into the wild" is something different. It is an exception to the rule, a story that genuinely speaks from the heart and also reach you there...this movie wakes you up, shakes you. It crawls under your skin and moves you. And maybe it might even make you rethink some of your life values.
It is a movie quite unlike what we are used to these days in the film-land of sentimental trow-up. At least I feel that I haven´t seen anything like it in a long time.
Into the wild is really worth a visit to the movies and hopefully, maybe later, it will take you to a visit to the forest ;-)

- Official site
- The original article that inspired to the book

dikt

Your skin is whispering memories
stretching out softly
like a tender, careful road
it slowly flows over the dark branches of my heart

Finally I am starting to understand
what it means to love

dikt

Jeg har øyne i håret
som blåser med vinden
og strekker seg mot
et smil uten ønske
og hjerte uten gripehender

Jeg vil vite hva vi egentlig tror på
og hva vi gjemmer bort
i mellomrommet

mellom tankene våre
i håpet på det der ute

Learning from the past.Just to remind myself to not walk backwards
~ Aasa

From the old Diary of Anaïs Wolf.
Dated 31/01/06

Oh my sweetheart - can you understand all this? I am not sure I can myself, but I am trying to.
I wanted it so much to be real, that I pretended. I didn't even see it before now.
I wanted it to be a fabulous romantic fairytale. I wanted to be crazy about you and to miss you deadly when you left. And I told myself that I did - without even searching inside myself to see if I was actually feeling what I said I was.

We both wanted this didn't we? So we tried to play our parts, you with your longing eyes and me with my words. Only reality was there in the background - grinning with broken teeth, telling us that it was just our needs doing an act. I guess I fooled myself longer than you did. I am glad you woke us both up now. I still miss the dream though - it was such a magic illusion.

We did have some fun though - and some good conversations back then. I think I liked you, but I dint know much right now, cause my pretend-feelings have all left me. The rest was castles and castles with wishes in a theatre, we didn't even know we were playing. We idolised each other at first, telling each other how wonderful we were, nearly in-human, to escape the fear of not feeling so, maybe? Feeling good, and worth wile for a while in each others eyes.

Do you see it? Now I do....finally. I never wanted to before. I was too caught up in my needs for dreams and passions.

What did I really feel for you beneath it all? I have no idea actually, no idea at all. I just feel empty when I try to look. I guess that's why I did cling to the act so long. Its not fun to find emptiness and aloneness where you wish to find care and passion.

Do you remember? - my theatrical answer when you said sorry for our short goodbye. It makes me laugh of myself now, when I see through it. I said - "sometimes Its easier with a quick goodbye." -Like we were a couple of lovers nearly dieing for each other, being ripped apart.
When the truth was - maybe it wasn't much at all. We didn't even know each other!

Dreams upon dreams upon wishes.....A wish to mean something - to feel something deeply - to have something - something bigger than yourself. The escape from always feeling alone. The escape of the truth...that I am human, and that in many ways we all are alone - accepting that that also can be a good thing. And that in the end, I will die. We tried to make each other in-human - larger than life. How sad to wake up and see the lie...but also - how wonderful!

But I truly believed it then. I didn't see that it was a pretend. I just wanted to feel something strong...anything! Even pain. I was scared that the truth was nothing - that is was empty. And in those moments anything is better than the emptiness, the nothing, the silence that lies behind. How long it took me to see the beauty of silence and reality instead - to realise just how much more reality can be. In a way I was mocking real life. Thinking it could never come up in worth to my own imagination.

Its like all of my life I have been searching for these strong feelings. - excitements, thrills, passions, even pain by seeking them up directly! But these things should come by themselves naturally, not because you just create them when you want them to be there.

We were seeking the deeper feelings right away - starting with passion, thinking it would take us there. But they come through time, and they come through goodness, not passion. Passion is just a plus on the way down. Something that comes through vulnerability and truth, not through illusions. Through seeing somebody how they really are - to dare let them be who they are! To dare to be yourself, not who you think they want you to be. To dare to let life come to you as it is - with the possibility of rejection and real pain. To dare being in stillness, in feelings that are more gentle, to dare being hurt - a scary thought isn´t it? But after coming out of the illusion - it sounds like the most wonderful though of all - REALITY!
We did it in reverse, didn´t we?

Maybe we can be friends, I don't know... I know we had fun, and that is something! And I know we have a lot in common. But the thing is, a lot of the stuff we have is common is the pain under it all. The feeling of maybe not having a deeper meaning, and the secret wish of somebody being that meaning or helping us find it. Nobody can be or do this for you but yourself. That is the hard lesson! We must take the responsibility for it our self, and that is so much harder than putting it on somebody else.

I thought there would be sadness behind all this. Maybe even fear or a pain. But its nothing, nothing at all....Just emptiness and silence. How much easier it is to handle the strong sensations? So very much...I guess that's why we did it.
Maybe we could have been something good, if we had gotten to know each other in a real way, who knows? It doesn´t matter anymore.

I see that I have been searching for somebody new to start this game with lately.
To again escape the emptiness and start the thrill of pretending to care

But I don't want to anymore
I don't want to
I must stop now
I will stop
It is time to be honest with myself if I meet somebody - and it is time to dare to REALLY be alone until I do
It is time to face that maybe I will never meet somebody who I can be with in truth. And accept that reality. To be complete - alone!
It is time to lead my own life, to take full responsibility - not just partly
It is time for acceptance
It is time to define myself from within, not from outer gratification
It is time to be in the emptiness that I dread, to seek the silence, to find my own answers...
It is time for something real

Who You Truly Are
Inner abundance

"Acknowledging the good that is already in your life is the foundation of all abundance.

The fact is: Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world. You are withholding it because deep down you think you are small and that you have nothing to give.

Try this for a couple of weeks and see how it changes your reality: Whatever you think people are withholding from you—praise, appreciation, assistance, loving care, and so on—give it to them. You don’t have it? Just act as if you had it, and it will come.Then, soon after you start giving, you will start receiving. You cannot receive what you don’t give. Outflow determines inflow. Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you already have, but unless you allow it to flow out, you won’t even know that you have it."

- Echart Tolle

- Link to original text


In the same spirit, let me also include one of my favourite movie clips:
BEETHOVEN: ODE TO JOY:

THE ILLUSION OF REALITY

Explained through quantum physics.
This is fascinating stuff. Take your lunch break to watch this while eating.
It will be well worth your time, if you have ever asked yourself questions
about reality and the world
Enjoy!
- Aasa

MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE

Have you ever met a person that in one way or another has you doubt yourself in their company, but you cannot explain why? Is there somebody you keep feeling that something is wrong around, but you cannot pinpoint what it is? You feel bad around them, but they seem totally nice and even wonderful...Still being around them is in the end frustrating for you. You have probably met a covertly manipulative person.
- To call on and discover manipulative people before you get attached to them, can save you much trouble and suffering.

- There are different degrees of manipulative people.
At the end of the spectrum are those with a personality disorder. But the type of manipulative people I am gonna talk about here, however, are those you encounter in everyday life. They are people who function well socially, and stand out as normal people. They can actually very often be incredibly friendly, welcoming, positive and gentle. Anyway, they have a hidden agenda: to "win" over others.
There are many reasons for a person learning manipulation as their main way of getting their needs met, and also different aspects driving them. I am only going to mention a few examples here.


- The neurotic:
If they are more on the neurotic side, what drives a manipulator can be low self esteem. If they don´t feel in control, this low self esteem will surface. As long as they feel like they are the ones who are rejecting you, and not the opposite...as long as they feel that you want and need them, they are in control. They need to have the upper hand. The moment they feel like they don´t have it, it will plunge them in the oposite direction where their feelings of rejection, sadness or even despair lies. So they don`t feel above, they see themselves as below and they will avoid this at any cost. When they avoid this they will not have to deal with their inner deeper feeling of rejection and low self worth, which they try to cover ut in diferent ways.

- The caracter disturbed
The other aspect that might drive a manipulative is a character disturbed personality, who just hasn´t developed enough conscience. Their primal drive is just a basic need to win or get their needs and desires met, and they have not developed a sense of responsibility for their deeds in getting there. Their feeling of guilt is underdeveloped. In other words they have no real developed empathy for other people, so they have no real concerns or guilt feelings about using manipulation to get the things they want.

 "A common saying among professionals is that "if a person is making everyone else miserable, he is probably character disordered. And if he is making himself miserable, he is probably neurotic."

A key caracteristic to both is that they most often are unwilling to take responsibility, and will avoid this by different means. This is why some can be extremely good at covering up their own agenda
Here are some pointers to manipulative behavior:

- Flipping the coin: A manipulator can gain control over you and escape responsibility by making you feel like you are the one with the problem and not them. Being around a manipulative person can be extremely distressful. Especially if they are good at masking up their own agenda and tactics. These people can push others to a level of frustration that ends in an emotional outburst. After all the things they have put sombody through. The manipulator can then point to the outbursts as an example of your unruly behavoir. They simply try to make a point that you are the "crazy one", not them. Which takes the attention away from what they are doing. You had the emotional outburst, right? That it is stemming from their manipulative behavior never seem to come into consideration.
Another tactic on flipping is simply to put blame, but most often without cause. Most often the person will be blamed for the things they are doing trying to defend themselves from the manipulators attacks.

- Bagatelizing: Showing through action or words that the feelings or the issue brought up is of minor importance. This might be done actively by plainly saying so, or indirect by laughing or making a joke of it. A manipulator can state that something is of minor importance, or that the issue or incident brought up was done with the best intentions from his/her side. They can play innocent. Both methods will make the manipulator look like a better person. The first is an attempttto make the target person feel like they are being hysterical and making something of minor importance into big issues. "You are making drama again". In the latter their intentions "were good", the target is brought to guilt because of questioning the manipulator or "being difficult". These tactics might very often be followed up with some flatter, to make it look like the manipulator is not really criticizing you, but actually supporting you, something that will ensure you get even more guilt, and will not backfire on them for what they did to you in the first place.

- Denial: Tactics can be direct denial or passive denial. The latter can be made by behaving like they haven´t understood that they has done something that was not good. This also creates a lot of insecurity in the person that brought up the subject. They might get to a point where they start to question their own judgement and feelings, and therefore it is a very strong weapon in manipulating them further.

- Being vague: Being vague is a very typical manipulative trait, because manipulators avoid taking responsibility. If a manipulator is asked something they don´t want to answer, or don´t know the answer to, being vague is a method for them to keep control of the situation. Instead of saying the truth or "I don´t know" something vague with many interpretations comes out instead. To be vague is a way of not having to be responsible for what they have said. In the end, it might have been you who misinterpreted it all, right? So if or when the subject comes up, this can be played to their favour.

Giving warnings: A super way to ensure they will never have to take responsibility. Example: A person can say "I don´t want commitment or a relationship right now". Then after this initial warning they might act as they actually want one, even lead the other part emotionally and physically into it. This will give them all the benefits from it. Then, if the situation gets difficult or it is time for some responsabilities, they might pull out of it and bring back the initial warning they gave to escape responsibility. They can be extremely convincing about why they acted in a different manner after their initial warning. Maybe they were just swept away by their feeling? but they also told everything to you in the beginning? So in the end you are the responsible one, not them. So they can leave the situation feeling no responsibility for the damage they have done, even put it all on the other part. And this is basically what manipulative people are after, direct or passively. So this makes initial warnings quite a strong manipulative weapon. But if you know how to look out for it, you can get away from people using them before they do.

- Play innocent/ confused: To pretend like they don´t understand or even know what you are talking about is also a powerful way to get out of responsibility. They might even make you mistrust you own judgment and think you are the one who is doing something bad for accusing them of these things. To avoid the blame for something by pushing the feelings of guilt back on you.

- Ignoring: To just ignore what you said and move on to other subjects. Pretend they didn´t hear it / receive your mail / letter / message etc or the easiest way, to just bluntly ignore it and not answer at all. In this way they can make you insecure about the things you have said, and you will need much force to repeat it. Something they wish you will not, so they can avoid responsibility and confrontation.

-Take the role as a victim: by making themselves a victim they can make others feel guilty. Guilty for "accusing them" or anything similar. Making a victim feel worse will bring up a lot of guilt in a person, so a victim role is a good escape for confrontations.
An other benift from the victim role is getting compassion or pity from others. Both these examples can give them a passive control over other people.

- Blame others: Taking away focus from themselves by talking about others behind their backs. Seen in this light they may also appear good, because "they don´t do such things". It might also be a passive way of telling you you should never behave like the bad examples they are giving of the others. In other words, it might work as a passive warning or even threat. I.e: Taking about an ex wife and how she behaved. Maybe she showed them lack of interest or love. By telling you this, they are passively stating to you that you must never do the same, or even, that they need much attention and that you need to provide it. They are also showing themselves in the victim role of somebody else, and gets pity out of you, ensuring that you will not do the same to them if it works.
An other method in blaming others is stating that they are only protecting themselves / reacting to the other persons behavior. The others started it, they never did, they are only defending themselves or reacting to being maltreated. (Again they are avoiding responsibility)

- Lie: To lie about parts of the story or all of it. Manipulators are good liars and know well what things to tell you and what to hide. They can follow your reactions closely and play on it to win. Twist the situation after how you respond to it, and bend the truth to fit their stories.

- Distracting: To direct focus in an other area to take you away from the issue you are bringing up, so you will forget it.

- Make you feel guilty: A very powerful method that gives them total control of you and make them able to manipulate you even more. Many of the above tactics have this effect.

Are you interested in learning more about manipulative people and how to deal with them. Read the following book, I can really recommend it
- In sheep´s clothing: understanding and dealing with manipulative people.
- Other article about emotinal manipulation

Drawing by Solveig, 4 years old

A repost from 2007

Gil : Kids - it's fabulous the freedom they have , they have no limits
Åsa -Yes, they are genuine in so many ways
even to the level of cruel
I love it
They can look at you and say, "I hate the drawing you ar making now, it is not good"
and then you make an other one and they are in heaven
Gil says:
I'm uploading on flickr a drawing by my daughter, she is 4 and made it yesterday, I had to scan it because I found it was fuckin good, see. I asked her where she found the idea, she said "in my head. It is a monster, and those are his teeth"
This is what I call freedom
Åsa - says:
OHMY! that is so great
I miss the times when I drew like that

Night thoughts

Who is ready to love? equally? openly?
not cling to the other for savior
nor pushing each other away
I don't want to climb your walls
I don't want to rescue you

These "games" of our hearts
they betray us again and again
Who is ready to really love?
Just him and her, alone and together.
- Aasa

All poems and photographs by Aasa Bergem



I am standing here quietly
listening to the leaves sing in the trees
filling everything around and in me
with a warm, nestled presence

then, just in a flash
just in a moment
like a bittersweet kiss
I understand deeply
that which has no words


˜*•.•*˜


To F

The branches move sadly in the wind
like hands waving goodbye

I opened up
to a new place
where i can truly feel

I slept too long in a dim light
but finally, I am really here
and it hurts
I love you


˜*•.•*˜

These memories are
like a glass jar filled with
light, green shimmering in summer shadows.
Standing in a windowsill, embraced by
smells of warm spice
and vanilla. I buzz like a tiny little
bee around the jar. Feeling the
softness of my shivering wings as I
fly. A moment with no time, but
just these dreams that form like flickering sun
behind closed eyelids


˜*•.•*˜




A faint longing can be sensed
rustling in the bushes
Close your eyes
and touch the grass with your feet
ever so gently
It´s a forgotten tune
maybe from childhood

But behind these hills,
shivering in the trees,
they soak your skin with life again,
and wander with you thought the soft shadows






˜*•.•*˜




Yes, do that, moon-wanderer
take your heart like a big wet rock
and throw it into the sea of clouds
I will not stand in your way
if our love scares you so

I can even stand next to you
watching it slowly sink to its black, hidden bottom
saying things like"Yeah, let's shock it"

I have done it so many times now
It doesn't even hurt anymore

although i used to hope you were different






˜*•.•*˜



I don't believe in the longing love anymore

in the dreams

in the missing

No, I believe in silence

in the night

and everything that is in the darkness

that is waiting to be seen




˜*•.•*˜


I stretch myself outwards and blend with the clouds
I am a tree with the winds blood in my veins
that feels its leaves fold out,
curiously

I stretch deeper, higher, faster, on -
until everything in me pulls
up, up, up and beyond

to all endings final surrender
I am spread out like butter,
soft, slowly and salty

now, dark, waving clouds are bursting
from my new-found roots
there, i can see the ground, far down
where you are left behind

no i am finally
smiling

goodbye


˜*•.•*˜


I have eyes in my hair
that blow with the wind
and reach out to find
an innocent smile without a wish

I want to know what we really believe in
and what we hide
between our thoughts
in the hope of something out there...



˜*•.•*˜



Benches in the night are draped in sorrow

around them thoughts are filled of all that could

have been

in the day, in the sun


so their cold, nightly solitude

grow even stronger







˜*•.•*˜



In the cool knowledge of
warm windows and sparking walls
far inside
I move beyond

the leaves are crushing under my feet
this is my blanket
and my fireplace are the blue shadows
that sing around each trunk
in the night


˜*•.•*˜

The night make tender dreams arise
that daytime leaves unknown
they gently flow like faint, sweet smells
from old and hidden wells
and gardens overgrown

˜*•.•*˜

I have something hidden
something forgotten a long time ago
a childhood memory perhaps?
a dream, a hope, a wish?
i don't know what it is
i only feel this sad and beautiful longing
stream through me
like the sight of a bright, warm window
after a long nights walking
in the blue shadows of the night

˜*•.•*˜


longing
without wings
without flight
without eyes

longing
without a face
without knowledge
without mind

wordless
timeless
but eternally returning

longing


˜*•.•*˜



Some road resemble
like a memory in a forgotten street
a place you have visited in your dreams

they make you smile
like wordless memories
and a cat finally come home

I just love this song so much. It is a comfort and inspiration. Easy listening, simple words, but a deep meaning


LET IT BE
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the brokenhearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be

For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Yeah, there will be an answer let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be

I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Yeah, let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

The happiest countries in the world

This was a very interesting poll

There seem to be something to learn from Scandinavians :-)

Scandinavia is not a religious country, but a lot of people are spiritual, and maybe this is one part of our happiness. I will post an old classic here, that will never die, because it is relevant in age of the world. Lets make this our goal! Enjoy!

This is a very good, guided meditation, that works very deeply if you follow it right. I have used it many times, and find it to be quite poerful. Hope you will enjoy :-)

- Aasa

	Jeru Kabbal - Quantum Light Breath .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Here is an other meditation, that can be done by anyone, no matter your mental og physical condition: Link: Smiling meditation

BOMB-THREAT!

( a re-post for new adult-children readers)

This story is not BASED on true incidents, it is (scarily enough) ALL true!
With the hand on my heart - I promise!


I was walking in the forest today and found a strange-looking wooden thing lying in the bushes (I usually snoop around a lot when I walk there)
It looked like it had some sort of on and off button on it.

I was walking together with a friend of mine, and at this point she had started to wonder why I disappeared into the bushes. So she came looking for me, asking what I was holding in my hand.
After stearing at it for quite a long time and examining it thoroughly, I managed to identify this fearsome object. And of course did not hesitate a moment to inform her, because I understood the true severity of the damned thing.

It was the on and off switch to the most dangerous and explosive bomb made in the entire universe (yes, a lot of bombs have an off-switch as well)
This bomb was made by the Vogons in a vicious plan to explode into pieces and wipe away earth for good. Luckily they had obviously lost the most important part, the on-button. And that is the only reason why we all are still alive today.
By her face I could tell she obviously had some doubts about my explanation.

She turned her back to me, persistent to walk on, showing a peculiar little interest in such an important matter.
But I couldn't walk further before I had found out what to do with the dangerous thing I was holding in my hands.
I stared at the switch very hard, trying to figure out if hard staring could help in any way.
After a while of staring it was pretty clear it didn´t help at all.
It dawned on me that I had to come up with an other solution than hard staring, but my mind was blank.
I wasn't sure if it was a good idea but I decided to search for advice. Sadly enough the only advicer around was my friend, who seemed to have a reckless relationship to bombs in general.

She advised me to throw it away, back into the bushes (and since it was of wood it wouldn't harm the nature anyway, she argued)
I thought about this opinion for a while and asked her if it wouldn´t be a little heedless to throw away such a thing....
What if the Vogons found it again - then we all probably would be...
pretty D-E-A-D
pretty F-A-S-T
Didn't she think it would be for the better if I brought it with me?
She said it would be okay to throw it away, and she also had quite a stern and convincing voice - I was just about to believe her.

I was nearly swept away by the environmental point she made, but still my doubts were clinging to me. So I asked her if she would take full responsibility if the Vogons found the on-switch to their eart destroying bomb and blew us all away
She said she would
She sounded so self assure I couldn´t doubt her for a moment. (Although I was shocked to observe that she even smiled while saying it)
I threw the botton back to where it had been, secretly admiring her bravery and somewhat impressive and shocking carelessness.

So now you all know
that if suddenly we all die in a huge explosion
I am not the one responsible for it
You MUST BLAME HER!!

------------------------------------

PS: I woke up in the middle of the night with an awfull thought
What if she was a disguised Vogon, sent out to trick me?

XXX
Aasa

Our approach to life and what it can do to us
Internal locus of control.
Just a few thoughts.

"The mind that turns ever outward
Will have no end to craving.
Only the mind turned inward
will find a still-point of peace."
~ From the Tao Te Ching

Take Free Locus of Control Test

This is a matter of perspective and where you put yourself in relation to the people surrounding you and what happens in your life. A person with internal locus of control feel responsible for their overall position in life. It is a person who will not say things like "I failed my exam because it was hard" or "because the professor hates me". Instead they simply ask themselves - "what was done wrong this time in order to cause thit result? And "how can i prevent this from happening the next time?"

They will never say "I didn't find work because of the high unemployment in the country i live in", but instead they think of what more can be done to get them a better chance. To sum it up, these people do not ignore external life conditions, but they never hang the responsibility of their failure upon them, they never play the victim's role , they know that there is always something that can be done. (And if it is not, they fully accept it and move on, instead of identifying with the situation)

The opposite way of dealing - external locus of control, is the person who feels that things outside themselves move against them. In other words, they play the victim´s role, partly because they don't have any other explanation. They may hang their problems on god's will, bad economy, lack of luck or anything else, the common factor in the resonnement is that the reasons are outer and not internal. The person might be conciously unaware of this, but they take no own responsability for their life by this passive approach.

Making these things concious is the first thing one can do to change this approach to life, if you want to change it. And by becoming more aware of your own role and approach, you will also find that you overall will feel a lot more powerfull, happy and strong (Belive me - taking out of personal experience here)
If you feel that you have external locus of control, maybe it's the time to change some of the fake beliefs that caused you to have such a way of thinking? Be brave and look at yourself with brutal honesty.
~ Aasa

In the 60s Psychologist Julian Rotter developed a theory called Locus of Control of Reinforcement. His theory centered around whether someone thinks their life is more influenced by external factors like fate, genetics, luck, environment (external locus of control) OR by internal factors like effort, tenacity, and free will (internal locus of control).

Your results suggests you strongly believe that internal factors like drive and free will define you whereas external factors like genetics, fate, luck, and environment have little or no effect.

Locus of Control Test Results

Internal Locus (81%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by their decisions and internal drive. External Locus (19%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by genetics, environment, fate, or other external factors.

Take Free Locus of Control Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Three random thoughts about life and personality and attractions:

What we seek is always inside ourselves. What we want from the outside are twisted reflections of our own mind and feelings we carry that we consciously don't know about. This is the way to get to know them. Look at what we want from others, or what we make them feel.

If we stand still and don't try to catch those "illusions" we never get to know for sure what they are about. And we can learn about ourselves what we seek and project to the world and on or loved ones. Do you often feel rejected? Or do you often make your loved ones feel rejected? So you are creating rejection in one way or another. Why? Where does your own inner rejection come from? Old thoughts learned from parents or society? Learn from what gives you pain, anger and sorrows, instead of casting it away. To listen to your inner "voices" is to grow as a person and become wiser every day.

An other though - there is also a natural flux in our mind and subconsciousness. A drive that moves us in ebb and flow. Processes always moving from inward to outward, from alone to together. Like night and day. Day is outward and night is inward. If youth was summer and elderliness was winter ... then we could say by silogism that as we get old our inward processes get longer and our outward processes get shorter.

So, to be with somebody and to love them is to learn these things:

To learn about yourself, and your deeper unconscious feelings. To grow and be thought by them and through this also to learn about an other person. To in the end see through your own projections and see the other as they really are. that is when you come to love somebody for real. And then. to flow the natural flux of life, the aloneness and the togetherness. The solitude and the uniting. This is, to me, what creates true, mature love, if we are able to do it.

now here is the last perspective, and I think al together they blend and make a whole image of our human existence. The first is the physical. The second the biological. The third is the spiritual. In some ways, they can seem to be contradicting each other, but they are really completing each other. The spiral part is to go beyond the human personality and find the inner silence and the core of your being. In this way you can move beyond conflict and address others with love and acceptance - what the centre o your being is truly made of. Here is an e-book from an author who has inspired me very much on the spiritual realm. Enjoy!