Drawing by Solveig, 4 years old

A repost from 2007

Gil : Kids - it's fabulous the freedom they have , they have no limits
Åsa -Yes, they are genuine in so many ways
even to the level of cruel
I love it
They can look at you and say, "I hate the drawing you ar making now, it is not good"
and then you make an other one and they are in heaven
Gil says:
I'm uploading on flickr a drawing by my daughter, she is 4 and made it yesterday, I had to scan it because I found it was fuckin good, see. I asked her where she found the idea, she said "in my head. It is a monster, and those are his teeth"
This is what I call freedom
Åsa - says:
OHMY! that is so great
I miss the times when I drew like that

Night thoughts

Who is ready to love? equally? openly?
not cling to the other for savior
nor pushing each other away
I don't want to climb your walls
I don't want to rescue you

These "games" of our hearts
they betray us again and again
Who is ready to really love?
Just him and her, alone and together.
- Aasa

All poems and photographs by Aasa Bergem



I am standing here quietly
listening to the leaves sing in the trees
filling everything around and in me
with a warm, nestled presence

then, just in a flash
just in a moment
like a bittersweet kiss
I understand deeply
that which has no words


˜*•.•*˜


To F

The branches move sadly in the wind
like hands waving goodbye

I opened up
to a new place
where i can truly feel

I slept too long in a dim light
but finally, I am really here
and it hurts
I love you


˜*•.•*˜

These memories are
like a glass jar filled with
light, green shimmering in summer shadows.
Standing in a windowsill, embraced by
smells of warm spice
and vanilla. I buzz like a tiny little
bee around the jar. Feeling the
softness of my shivering wings as I
fly. A moment with no time, but
just these dreams that form like flickering sun
behind closed eyelids


˜*•.•*˜




A faint longing can be sensed
rustling in the bushes
Close your eyes
and touch the grass with your feet
ever so gently
It´s a forgotten tune
maybe from childhood

But behind these hills,
shivering in the trees,
they soak your skin with life again,
and wander with you thought the soft shadows






˜*•.•*˜




Yes, do that, moon-wanderer
take your heart like a big wet rock
and throw it into the sea of clouds
I will not stand in your way
if our love scares you so

I can even stand next to you
watching it slowly sink to its black, hidden bottom
saying things like"Yeah, let's shock it"

I have done it so many times now
It doesn't even hurt anymore

although i used to hope you were different






˜*•.•*˜



I don't believe in the longing love anymore

in the dreams

in the missing

No, I believe in silence

in the night

and everything that is in the darkness

that is waiting to be seen




˜*•.•*˜


I stretch myself outwards and blend with the clouds
I am a tree with the winds blood in my veins
that feels its leaves fold out,
curiously

I stretch deeper, higher, faster, on -
until everything in me pulls
up, up, up and beyond

to all endings final surrender
I am spread out like butter,
soft, slowly and salty

now, dark, waving clouds are bursting
from my new-found roots
there, i can see the ground, far down
where you are left behind

no i am finally
smiling

goodbye


˜*•.•*˜


I have eyes in my hair
that blow with the wind
and reach out to find
an innocent smile without a wish

I want to know what we really believe in
and what we hide
between our thoughts
in the hope of something out there...



˜*•.•*˜



Benches in the night are draped in sorrow

around them thoughts are filled of all that could

have been

in the day, in the sun


so their cold, nightly solitude

grow even stronger







˜*•.•*˜



In the cool knowledge of
warm windows and sparking walls
far inside
I move beyond

the leaves are crushing under my feet
this is my blanket
and my fireplace are the blue shadows
that sing around each trunk
in the night


˜*•.•*˜

The night make tender dreams arise
that daytime leaves unknown
they gently flow like faint, sweet smells
from old and hidden wells
and gardens overgrown

˜*•.•*˜

I have something hidden
something forgotten a long time ago
a childhood memory perhaps?
a dream, a hope, a wish?
i don't know what it is
i only feel this sad and beautiful longing
stream through me
like the sight of a bright, warm window
after a long nights walking
in the blue shadows of the night

˜*•.•*˜


longing
without wings
without flight
without eyes

longing
without a face
without knowledge
without mind

wordless
timeless
but eternally returning

longing


˜*•.•*˜



Some road resemble
like a memory in a forgotten street
a place you have visited in your dreams

they make you smile
like wordless memories
and a cat finally come home

I just love this song so much. It is a comfort and inspiration. Easy listening, simple words, but a deep meaning


LET IT BE
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the brokenhearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be

For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Yeah, there will be an answer let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be

I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Yeah, let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

The happiest countries in the world

This was a very interesting poll

There seem to be something to learn from Scandinavians :-)

Scandinavia is not a religious country, but a lot of people are spiritual, and maybe this is one part of our happiness. I will post an old classic here, that will never die, because it is relevant in age of the world. Lets make this our goal! Enjoy!

This is a very good, guided meditation, that works very deeply if you follow it right. I have used it many times, and find it to be quite poerful. Hope you will enjoy :-)

- Aasa

	Jeru Kabbal - Quantum Light Breath .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Here is an other meditation, that can be done by anyone, no matter your mental og physical condition: Link: Smiling meditation

BOMB-THREAT!

( a re-post for new adult-children readers)

This story is not BASED on true incidents, it is (scarily enough) ALL true!
With the hand on my heart - I promise!


I was walking in the forest today and found a strange-looking wooden thing lying in the bushes (I usually snoop around a lot when I walk there)
It looked like it had some sort of on and off button on it.

I was walking together with a friend of mine, and at this point she had started to wonder why I disappeared into the bushes. So she came looking for me, asking what I was holding in my hand.
After stearing at it for quite a long time and examining it thoroughly, I managed to identify this fearsome object. And of course did not hesitate a moment to inform her, because I understood the true severity of the damned thing.

It was the on and off switch to the most dangerous and explosive bomb made in the entire universe (yes, a lot of bombs have an off-switch as well)
This bomb was made by the Vogons in a vicious plan to explode into pieces and wipe away earth for good. Luckily they had obviously lost the most important part, the on-button. And that is the only reason why we all are still alive today.
By her face I could tell she obviously had some doubts about my explanation.

She turned her back to me, persistent to walk on, showing a peculiar little interest in such an important matter.
But I couldn't walk further before I had found out what to do with the dangerous thing I was holding in my hands.
I stared at the switch very hard, trying to figure out if hard staring could help in any way.
After a while of staring it was pretty clear it didn´t help at all.
It dawned on me that I had to come up with an other solution than hard staring, but my mind was blank.
I wasn't sure if it was a good idea but I decided to search for advice. Sadly enough the only advicer around was my friend, who seemed to have a reckless relationship to bombs in general.

She advised me to throw it away, back into the bushes (and since it was of wood it wouldn't harm the nature anyway, she argued)
I thought about this opinion for a while and asked her if it wouldn´t be a little heedless to throw away such a thing....
What if the Vogons found it again - then we all probably would be...
pretty D-E-A-D
pretty F-A-S-T
Didn't she think it would be for the better if I brought it with me?
She said it would be okay to throw it away, and she also had quite a stern and convincing voice - I was just about to believe her.

I was nearly swept away by the environmental point she made, but still my doubts were clinging to me. So I asked her if she would take full responsibility if the Vogons found the on-switch to their eart destroying bomb and blew us all away
She said she would
She sounded so self assure I couldn´t doubt her for a moment. (Although I was shocked to observe that she even smiled while saying it)
I threw the botton back to where it had been, secretly admiring her bravery and somewhat impressive and shocking carelessness.

So now you all know
that if suddenly we all die in a huge explosion
I am not the one responsible for it
You MUST BLAME HER!!

------------------------------------

PS: I woke up in the middle of the night with an awfull thought
What if she was a disguised Vogon, sent out to trick me?

XXX
Aasa

Our approach to life and what it can do to us
Internal locus of control.
Just a few thoughts.

"The mind that turns ever outward
Will have no end to craving.
Only the mind turned inward
will find a still-point of peace."
~ From the Tao Te Ching

Take Free Locus of Control Test

This is a matter of perspective and where you put yourself in relation to the people surrounding you and what happens in your life. A person with internal locus of control feel responsible for their overall position in life. It is a person who will not say things like "I failed my exam because it was hard" or "because the professor hates me". Instead they simply ask themselves - "what was done wrong this time in order to cause thit result? And "how can i prevent this from happening the next time?"

They will never say "I didn't find work because of the high unemployment in the country i live in", but instead they think of what more can be done to get them a better chance. To sum it up, these people do not ignore external life conditions, but they never hang the responsibility of their failure upon them, they never play the victim's role , they know that there is always something that can be done. (And if it is not, they fully accept it and move on, instead of identifying with the situation)

The opposite way of dealing - external locus of control, is the person who feels that things outside themselves move against them. In other words, they play the victim´s role, partly because they don't have any other explanation. They may hang their problems on god's will, bad economy, lack of luck or anything else, the common factor in the resonnement is that the reasons are outer and not internal. The person might be conciously unaware of this, but they take no own responsability for their life by this passive approach.

Making these things concious is the first thing one can do to change this approach to life, if you want to change it. And by becoming more aware of your own role and approach, you will also find that you overall will feel a lot more powerfull, happy and strong (Belive me - taking out of personal experience here)
If you feel that you have external locus of control, maybe it's the time to change some of the fake beliefs that caused you to have such a way of thinking? Be brave and look at yourself with brutal honesty.
~ Aasa

In the 60s Psychologist Julian Rotter developed a theory called Locus of Control of Reinforcement. His theory centered around whether someone thinks their life is more influenced by external factors like fate, genetics, luck, environment (external locus of control) OR by internal factors like effort, tenacity, and free will (internal locus of control).

Your results suggests you strongly believe that internal factors like drive and free will define you whereas external factors like genetics, fate, luck, and environment have little or no effect.

Locus of Control Test Results

Internal Locus (81%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by their decisions and internal drive. External Locus (19%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by genetics, environment, fate, or other external factors.

Take Free Locus of Control Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Three random thoughts about life and personality and attractions:

What we seek is always inside ourselves. What we want from the outside are twisted reflections of our own mind and feelings we carry that we consciously don't know about. This is the way to get to know them. Look at what we want from others, or what we make them feel.

If we stand still and don't try to catch those "illusions" we never get to know for sure what they are about. And we can learn about ourselves what we seek and project to the world and on or loved ones. Do you often feel rejected? Or do you often make your loved ones feel rejected? So you are creating rejection in one way or another. Why? Where does your own inner rejection come from? Old thoughts learned from parents or society? Learn from what gives you pain, anger and sorrows, instead of casting it away. To listen to your inner "voices" is to grow as a person and become wiser every day.

An other though - there is also a natural flux in our mind and subconsciousness. A drive that moves us in ebb and flow. Processes always moving from inward to outward, from alone to together. Like night and day. Day is outward and night is inward. If youth was summer and elderliness was winter ... then we could say by silogism that as we get old our inward processes get longer and our outward processes get shorter.

So, to be with somebody and to love them is to learn these things:

To learn about yourself, and your deeper unconscious feelings. To grow and be thought by them and through this also to learn about an other person. To in the end see through your own projections and see the other as they really are. that is when you come to love somebody for real. And then. to flow the natural flux of life, the aloneness and the togetherness. The solitude and the uniting. This is, to me, what creates true, mature love, if we are able to do it.

now here is the last perspective, and I think al together they blend and make a whole image of our human existence. The first is the physical. The second the biological. The third is the spiritual. In some ways, they can seem to be contradicting each other, but they are really completing each other. The spiral part is to go beyond the human personality and find the inner silence and the core of your being. In this way you can move beyond conflict and address others with love and acceptance - what the centre o your being is truly made of. Here is an e-book from an author who has inspired me very much on the spiritual realm. Enjoy!

Some good videos with political content

The Daily show

This show is really good. You cannot go to the news channels anymore to get the truth in the U.S. Now maybe this is one of the few voices left in there who really does! Enjoy!

A remix of Bushes speeches, made into the classical song of John Lennon. Imagine!

BLOOD

Have you ever thought about the reason why sex is so good? I mean, just technically why? (The other reasons I leave to you ,-) No, think about it. When an area is stumulated the blood rushes to those parts of your body. It fills up, it is almost "collected" and centered there. Then, in the orgasm, it is realeased in a rush. All that blood that was there floods out again in an instant. And that is why first, the area where the blood was felt so good, and after, why the body feel so good, when the blood rushes back there, giving it rest and pleasure.
It is so many simple little things about blood. Just think about when your arm falls asleep, and you cannot move it, it feels like dead - the blood is gone from it. Then when the blood returns you can again move it. You were alive, your arm was alive, but without the blood there was no life.
No wonder many cultures have celebrated blood and worshiped it as the thing itself that contains life, that the soul lives in and so on. Or how religious costums, where blood must be drained from an animal before it is eaten by man. (Because allegedly then the soul of the animal is gone. Then it is pure enough to eat.)
Was just something I thought about. How these things amaze me, because life amazes me. I wonder about the soul. What is the soul?
I used to be a person who belived in a life after death. I more or less dont anymore. I picture some energy will move on. Maybe my dust will be a flower or some grass, I dont know. Is that all, I dont know either. But I guess I have gotten used to the thought that to me, it might very well be like sleeping. Now, dont get me wrong. I like sleeping. But forever? Would be nice to wake up now and then.
So, that is why I am thinking about all these things. Cause maybe they have a link and maybe they dont. But one thing is for sure. Blood creates life and lets it live. When do you ever feel more alive than wen the blood rushes through you?
It is something to think about at least
- Åsa

Redefining emotions

I found this online, and I think it is a good method. It is also a known technique in classic psychology, only the approach is somewhat different. For me it did a lot, so I want to share it with those who read my blog.

"In order to be brave you must first start by being afraid
for true courage lies in the overcoming of fear
not in its absence"

~ Aasa

Learn to feel your emotions fully and not resist them
Allow your emotions to flow, even the painful ones

1 Accept full responsibility for your emotion
No matter who or what you think caused your emotion
You take full responsibility now

2 Name your emotions
Giving your emotion a name increases clarity, awareness and consciousness
Don't just say you feel sad bad or mad
Expand your emotional knowledge until you can positively identify the feeling of violation, disappointments, anxiety, shame, embarrassments and much more

3 Let go of the story
The story is whatever outside yourself that you think caused your emotion
Literally see the story being cut off from your emotion and fading away
Let go of the story and keep the emotion that you created which now has a name

4 Accept the emotion
This means not judging it . Good or bad
Accept the emotion in a spirit of gratitude and learning
This is necessary to do the next step properly

5 Feel the emotion
With no judging or resistance
Simply feel the emotion
Notice where in your body you experience the emotion
Raise your consciousness as you become a witness - observe your emotion

What you resist will persist
and allowing the emotion in this way is the very opposite of resistance

6 Ask for clarityIn a spirit of learning and willingness to grow
Ask for insight as for the reason to the emotion
Don't go back to the story - the cause of the emotion is you and nothing outside yourself
Ask, what do I need to learn from this emotion?
Also ask, what ineffective belief do I own that has created this emotion?

7 Identify the belief
Create a space for the answer to come (it will come)
At the root of nearly every painful emotion is an ineffective belief
You may believe that you must make everyone happy
You may believe that you cant be loved if you are not perfect
You may believe that you are simply not worth it

8 Replace the belief
Once you have identified the belief, choose to replace it with a more effective belief
Literally say to yourself:
I now choose to reject this (ineffective belief) and adopt this (empowering belief) in its place

The United States of Whatever

A song about a guy you maybe know????

I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house with a nic hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
(Oh no) No Way (Uh-uh)
No, I've gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
(Oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I use public toilets and piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?"

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong

Naaaah!

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado convertible, hot pink with whaleskin hub caps and all leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115mph getting one mile per gallon, sucking down quarter pounder cheese burgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers, I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam container right out the side and there ain't a God damned thing anybody can do about it. YOU know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why.

Two words. Nuclear fucking weapons, okay?! Russia, Germany, Romania - they can have all the Democracy they want. They can have a big democracy cake-walk right through the middle of Tiananmen square and it won't make a lick of difference because we've got the bombs, okay?! John Wayne's not dead - he's frozen. And as soon as we find the cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well multiple that by 15-million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes...
(Hey)
and Lee Marvin
(Hey)
and Sam Pekinpah
(Hey)
And a case of Whiskey and drive down to Texas...

Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song pal!

I'm an asshole and proud of it!

Detox

- A repost

So, I have started a process of detoxing my entire body. The aim is better general health and more energy. I have also noticed that my thoughts and feeling actually also turn clearer through this process, which has just been a surprising bonus for me. Also, I am enjoying a lot being creative with making these new types of recipes and dishes. If anybody request it, I might put out some here in my blog.
Here I will write some of the things I am doing, as a tip to others who might want to do the same, but don't have time to find all the information. Hope it will be helpful. And remember, you don't have to do this for the rest of your life.Try it out and see if it changes the way you feel in any way. It can also be good to just do it as a 3 month diet, to get some of the toxins of your body flushed out. Good luck ;-)!

First of all, exclude the most evident health dangers from your diet.
These are changes anyone can do that doesn't take much effort:
- White sugar. Switch to brown sugar (or even better, stevia if you can find it) and keep the intake low. Be aware of the continents of sugar in the things you eat/drink. Take a look at this website, it is a good indicator (and a bit shocking)
- Normal salt. Buy sea salt or herb salt. And naturally, keep the intake low
- Avoid butter or margarine. They are very high on saturated fats , and are highly acidic. Buy or make ghee, which is non-acidic and a monounsaturated fat

If you want to take further steps for your health, keep in mind:
- Get information on the acidic / alkaline level in your body. A very common factor of disease and premature aging in the western society is a high acidic diet. Look at the chart on this page and compare it with what you normally eat. Keep in mind that the most acidic foods are: Table salt, sugar, yeast, fruits and fruit juices, coffee, normal butter or margarine, beer, wine, dairy products and animal products as beef, pork, chicken etc...
- Drink water. (Not too much, not to little)
- If you can, switch to organic food or look for bio food. A high percentage of foods are genetically manipulated/modified, sprayed with toxins and treated in other ways that will harm your health.
- Keep the intake of alcohol to a healthy degree.
- Drink green teas/ herbs for cleansing and detoxing. (thnx for the tip Henry)
- Drink vegetable juices (for detox), or green smoothies(recipes) instead of fruit juices
- Other

Extra tips for more energy:
- Throw away body care product that contain many toxins. Try to find the simplest and more natural ones. Don`t over use these products. They should only be a supplement to aid your body, not the thing that makes it run.
- Cut gluten from your diet (or at least do a test to check if you react to gluten)
- Cut dairy products:(Coconut milk is a very fine substitute) Cutting milk may also be good for your skin. Read here why.

Veganism:
To exclude dairy products from your diet will increase energy and stamina. You can supplement milk with soy products or coconut milk (for cooking)
If this is too difficult for you, try out:

Vegetarianism:
Vegetarians live about seven years longer, and vegans (who eat no animal products) about 15 years longer than meat eaters, according to a study from Loma Linda University. These findings are backed up by the China Health Project (the largest population study on diet and health to date), which found that Chinese people who eat the least amount of fat and animal products have the lowest risks of cancer, heart attack and other chronic degenerative diseases.
Animal products are the major sources of dietary saturated fat. Vegetarianism is therefore also a very good way to keep a balanced weight and body fat, to stay fit, and clean from heavy digestive foods which strain your metabolism.
I have been a vegetarian for 17 year. As a vegetarian you avoid a high acid factor in the foods, which are very beneficial. But this is not a total requirement for a healthy life style, if you feel that you cannot go through with it. But, if you want to try out the vegetarian diet, be sure to:
Get enough proteins, B12, iron and omega 3 fats. B12 is normally found in animal food, so you should consider supplements


22 Reasons to Go Vegetarian Right Now
The Health Benefits of Vegetarian Diet
Health Benefits of Vegetarian Diets

I will extend this list through time
Any links or tips? Feel free to post them under comments
and I will include them in the article
Thanks
- Åsa

Reality, balance - a random stream of thoughts

The ocean, rolling in a steady, salty beat, a tree, its soft lullaby of leaves, carrying me in its branches, the feeling of just being. The moment where suddenly everything meets. Nothing is different, yet everything is. You stand still in life, you just are, exsist. But its not a "just". This pure exisitence is more, it is a moment that seems like a lifetime. A moment where you find a total peace, an end to the restless search that always pushes you on.
This search that I both love and hate at the same time. That makes me explore, discover, learn and live, but that also makes me homless, left without roots, a home or a harbour.
But in this split second everything seems to make sense, everything is clear and simple.
It is the moment your soul rests with everything around you.
This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever experinced.

The direct opposite are the moments of enless questions.
When the world is to close to me, when the meaningless words that sourrounds me everytwhere, sting me profoundly.
When the ugliness of unseeing eyes makes me want to escape, somewhere, away, from all this fragility of the flesh.
Away from our patterns of behavior that is so easy seen through. And that look so utterly pittiful when you do.
Away from the predictable ways of thinking, from settlement into habit,
and the souls afraid of dieing, that never learns to live.
Away from the illusions we create in the name of love, truth and society, from the lies we take as our lives, and the patterns we build as our personalities and so steadily believe in.

Did you know that it is possible for a szicofrenic with a split personality to have one personality with remarkable physical differences to the others? I have read about a case where a woman had 12 different personalities and ONE of them had cancer.
So what is consciousness? What is your reality? Your truth?
Do you know who you are?
Do you?
Or do you just think so?

This world scares me and amazes me at the same time,
All this life swarming around me, everywhere, knitted together with so much death.
It is beautifully morbid.
And as far as I know, I never even asked for it. That's the paradox of it all. I never recall asking for this.
I am just here, and now I am forced to question my own existence, and not just mine, but everything.

What is this we call reality?
The Buddhists claim that there is a veil of illusion in front of our eyes, and to see behind it is pain. So, we illusion ourselves. Or if we dont, our lives will be suffering and knowledge.
The Taoist claim that knowledge is pain and a step away from life, and that the natural, unforzed stream of life is the key to true happyness. "There is no road to happyness, happyness is the road."

I often feel both these views so close on my body. In the times where I see the clearest, it is like I get separated from the rest of the world. I have never felt more alone than in the moments where I feel a breakthrough where I can see deeper.
And I have never felt closer to life, love, everything, like in the moments where I just let go and am totally in the present.
But maybe I never can escape the rise and fall of these two extremes.
Nature strives for balance in this world, and evidently so do we.

These where just some thoughts on a rainy day that I felt like sharing.

**Aasa**

Social sexuality

Based on erroneous theories about embryonic hermaphroditism, Freud proposed that all human beings were born with an unconscious bisexual disposition. Through the course of normal childhood development, individuals repressed their "homosexual side," thereby assuming a heterosexual identity and achieving psychological "maturity." Thus, while Freud recognized the potential to be attracted to both women and men, he maintained that actually being bisexual was a neurosis.

Freud influenced popular understandings of bisexuality for much of the first half of the twentieth century, but his was not the only voice on the topic. Freud's associate Wilhelm Stekel agreed that everyone had an innate bisexual predisposition. However, diverging from his mentor, Stekel contended that this initial bisexual potential led naturally to having relationships with women and men. He felt that both homosexuality and heterosexuality were symptoms of a neurosis, since being exclusively attracted to one sex required sublimating a basic part of oneself. "There are no monosexual persons!," he emphatically argued.

The KSOG measures sexual attraction, sexual behavior, sexual fantasies, emotional preference, social preference, heterosexual/homosexual lifestyle, and self-identification. Individuals rate themselves on each variable for their past, present, and ideal futures using the Kinsey scale, resulting in a twenty-one category profile of sexual orientation.

The Klein grid has been popular among bisexual activists, as well as sex educators and therapists, because it recognizes the complexity of sexuality, including the fact that aspects of sexual orientation can change over time and that sexual self-identification is not necessarily reflected in current sexual experience.

Despite the attention given to bisexuality in the work of Freud, Stekel, and a number of other psychoanalysts, scientific research on sexuality largely ignored the issue. Historically, most researchers failed to consider bisexuality a specific sexual identity. They combined the responses of individuals who expressed a desire for both women and men with the data from those who were exclusively attracted to others of the same sex or excluded bisexuals from their studies altogether.

The research of Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues in the late 1940s and early 1950s was groundbreaking for its recognition of the inadequacy of reducing the diversity of human sexual experience to a heterosexual/homosexual binary.

Finding that 28% of women and 46% of men had responded erotically or were sexually active with both women and men, Kinsey's studies awakened other researchers and the American public to the prevalence of bisexuality and challenged the distinction psychoanalysts made between the normal and the pathological.

Kinsey, however, was reluctant to use the word "bisexuality" to describe this behavior because of the term's historical usage to refer to the physical or psychological combination of the feminine and masculine. But as a result of Kinsey's research, the earlier senses of bisexuality were largely displaced by the modern meaning of being attracted to both women and men.

Some scholars have since challenged Kinsey's methodology and data (while he interviewed more than 11,000 women and men, he limited his samples to caucasian). But his conception of human sexual behavior as a continuum from heterosexuality to homosexuality, rather than a dichotomy--what has become known as the Kinsey scale--has had a lasting influence on how sexuality is perceived.

Building on Kinsey's attempt to qualify sexual experience, other researchers have devised instruments for assessing sexual orientation that rely on multiple factors. The best known of these scientific tools, the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid (KSOG), was developed by psychiatrist Fritz Klein in 1978.

This is a very good meditation, that works very deeply if you follow it right. I have used it many ties, and find it to be quite poerful. Hope you will enjoy :-)

	Jeru Kabbal - Quantum Light Breath .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

The World Spins

I LOVE the soundtrack from Twin Peaks. The music is composed by the genius Angelo Badalamenti. Many of the songs, sung by Angel voice, Julee Cruise.
It is a mix of darkness, sensuality, innocence and light, that to me is just pure maigic. And after having heard the story behind the music, and the genuinity is was preformed with, it just touches me even deeper. Julee Cruise confessed that she sometimes might sing slightly off key, basically because she was so moved and touched by the music that she was close to bursting out in tears while singing.

Here is one of the songs. Enjoy! :-)

Love

- A repost from 2007

I started to think about my last post a lot.
I have always been in the opinion that an emptiness inside comes from not loving oneself completely and that the only solution is acceptance and love towards oneself. (it cannot be filled up from the outside)
I am still in that opinion but I think I forgot some very simple things in that conclution.
(I know this is also me starting to (over-) analyze things again, but I have been in that habit for more that over 15 years so what can I say, ha ha)
I forgot the simple fact that we are social creatures who I think have are naturally drawn to love, both the need for expressing and wanting love back.
(So a longing for something and an emptiness does not necessarily come from deeper wounds, but also from a natural drive in the human mind that is going unfulfilled.)

But since the society we have built up have lured us into so many traps we forget the simple gift of love in its pure form.
We see movie love and happy ever after love. Money love and love for things. We are chasing substitutions for love because we have not been taught have to go for the real thing, or maybe we are just to scared.
We go for an eternal chase for what we think are happiness and love and forget that it is right at the spot where we are.
Happiness is not in the end of the road it is the journey itself.

That's why its so common to some day wake up with a big questionmark and feel that a lot of ones lives have been wasted, I think... Or going around with an empty feeling inside, longing for something that one just doesn't quite know what is.
Cause we are always chasing something in the far distance when our treasures is to be found in the very moment we are right now.

It seems we humans come back to this again and again. We can fill our lives up with distractions that will keep us from feeling the emptiness a life without a centered and loving self brings.
We can have jobs, goals, lovers, money, things, activities, excitement and thrills, but when all these areas are "used up" we are back to where we started or what we fled from. The emptiness that we ran from will not go away just because we run.

Also we have all these things in our society today that contributes to making this void larger. All the propaganda and brainwash that damages us daily. Its so sad how we have built up our lives.
We are trapped in living-ways maybe 70% of us don't want and long out of.
What have we done with nature and our connection to it?
Just the simple way of being in the moment and enjoying life for what it is.
Loving, freedom , connections to others and to nature
........Just being.
We are forced into roles and lives we choose only 50% (no less than 50%) ourselves and the brainwash in being convinced that we choose it 100%. (Do you really think you choose it yourself?)
This is the cruel rule of survival today.
In our lives, when we are born, we are given an ocean of freedom.
In our society today and out of what we have created we have freedom too, more freedom than ever in history........
but yet so little - compared to what life gave us from birth.
We forget true freedom, believing we have to live like we do, and we forget the pure selfless love.

I want to put a Shakespeare sonnet here that I have posted in my blog before.
I think it is beautiful because it shows a different side of love that we are not used to think about these days. The love that is selfless and doesn't change because of outer happenings.

Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixèd mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

To me love is somethingn selfless that wants the best and that is truly open.
I am not a Christiann, but I think in the teachings of Jesus there is a lot to be learned that we should try to remind ourselves in these times we have now. (And then don'tnt mean Christianity and what it has been made into through the years. I mean the teachings and words claimed to be of Jesus)
We se terrorism and cruelty striking upon innocents. And we see the victims of these terrorist acts reacting to this cruelty with revenge and behaving just like terrorists themselves.
We see nations that still have death-penalty, which is just an other form of revenge and murder, only in that setting the state is the assassin.

I only whish that some day we all humans will learn to love selfless and reach out for those who need it. That we will see beyond just our own horizon and understand how much this also wil benefit ourselves and how much we actually need it too.
Selfless love gives back to you 10 fold. Selfless love brings us out of the emptiness...
Just because of the simple fact that you become a part of love and in loves nature. And because love makes more love to grow in its path.
(Now I am not talking about the "love" that wants, but the love that is without desire of wanting or earning a gain)

With selfless love you make the world go one step forward and the human you touch with it, will reach out to receive this gift and give it on even further.
That is how love in its pure form works, and its just as "easy" as to open up your heart.
Both love and hate spreads with a huge speed and blossoms when we send it out.
(being in the danger of sounding like a silly beauty-queen with her final appeal in front of the judges here : )
It is our choice if we want to make this world a little better or a little worse.
If we want to take it a step forward or a step back.

I want to use an old hippi-clicheee as I am a true hippie of heart:

:)
Aasa

The only certain is uncertainty

















The only constant is change

Phantom of the opera

For those dark and hopeless roantic souls (Including myself) Enjoy! :-)