Thursday, June 29, 2006

Post update:
Okay, seems I got this cleared out. He explained it to me. He is a good guy, that I will miss. It was more to the story that I knew and I understand him, even though it is sad. I guess being friends with someone you dated in the past, isn't always as easy as you might think.


Friends vs girlfriend

I recently seem to have lost a friend because he has a new girlfriend. We dated for a time, like a year ago, and after that we stayed in touch as friends. I respect his desition, but I really cannot understand it. Why should being friends with me be threatening to his relationship? That is two totally different things. I don't know. For me, when its over with somebody and we become friends, I could never go back. It would always be friendship for me then, and nothing else
I would never do the same thing. I could never ditch a friend because of a new relationship.
It makes me sad. No, I really don't understand.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Tasty fields
Today I was walking in the forest, and al of a sudden I passed this large field with beautiful flowers. Looking at it I felt like a horse, and a horse that totally wanted to run in that field. (its true, I actually knew how a horse must feel when it sees a filed like that, hahaha. I was all jumpy and excited) So, I jumped over the fence and for the following minutes you might have seen a crazy Norwegian blonde girl running around making weird noises and looking disturbingly happy.
If you did but you didn't join me, I just say...Your loss
Winks
~ Aasa
Click to enlarge

Monday, June 26, 2006

NORWAY

I am back in Norway and will be so for 3 months. Its lovely. I have also taken some cliche-photos here, like this one, just for the hell of it.

And I get a new relation to this country whenever I come back,. It seems to actually grow stronger the longer I am away from it. I guess its easier to idealize something when you don't have it. Or as Ibsen said "You don't know what you had until its gone"
I feel like I am finally discovering a feeling of belonging, or at least a feeling of having some roots, where there were none before. Its a great feeling. I don't think it will ever be totally "home". But at least I am not rootless, as I always felt it before.
Its good to be back. I seem to have underestimated a lovely country.
Lots of greetings to all of you out there
Hugs
xxx
Aasa

Sunday, June 25, 2006

KIDS
I got a sentimental rush of missing the kids in the kindergarten I used to work.
I think maybe I will just pop by one day and say hi.
They were the sweetest ever, I really love them.This girls name was Aster. When I told her I was going to quit she said "But who is going to be nice to me and play with me then?" It just broke my heart.
There's nothing like kids. (I still am one:P)


Here are some photos I took wile working there:

Friday, June 23, 2006

PAINTINGS OF BURN SURVIVORS


Shayla

Oil on linen
Shayla age 14

Shayla was five years old when her brother accidentally dropped a cigarette lighter on her bed setting her on fire. With the majority of her body burned , Shayla lost her fingers and her ability to have children. Shayla is an amazing young girl. She is top of her class in many activities including academics, arts and crafts, cheerleading and even manages to play the piano. She is an honor student, class president, and aspires to be a hair stylist when she finishes school.

LINK

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

MAN RAY
A master of surrealism

Monday, June 19, 2006

Isn't this the best black cat ever?
I just found it online

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Reality

I've been looking for something real but I couldn't find it. How would I recognize it? I thought I was all real, I said yes, I said no, but turns out, in the end I really don´t know.
I just sit there with the feeling that something is wrong. With a feeling of not knowing anybody. With a feeling of not knowing the world?

Where can I find something real, I ask myself? I have been looking within and outside, but all I can see are illutions. All I can see is a world made up. Can I reach the real world out there somewhere? Can I see the true nature of something, or will it always be colored by me? Of course it will, how can I escape myself? That is not possible.

I seem to return to this thought again and again, and I cannot let it go...I just wish for something so simple, and yet, it seem to be the most impossible of all.
I wish to see somethinng how it really is, I want to see the source, the true nature, the reality. I want to escape these goggles that I wear, that is called my own perceptions. I want to know something sure, something pure, just something as it really is.

Can I ever know anybody as they are? When somebody talks to me, will I ever hear exactly the thing they are saying? How can I ever? How could I ever?
It will always go through the system I have made that I call myself. It will always be colored by my experiences, that makes me who I am, that makes me see and interpret the world as I do.
I can never totally see what you see, its not possible, and it freaks me out more than I can say.

Can somebody ever share worlds?
Can we ever touch hand to hand?
Can we ever find reality?

Will we ever truly see?

Friday, June 16, 2006

NORWAY


Going back to the ye old homecountry on thursday!
A friend of mine is naming a new software after me
Yay, isn´t that cool
Here is the link, its not yet released

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Fantastic art, part 1

I cannot take entirely credit for this fantastic art project
Rahul also joined in (As you might have guessed)PS: This is what happens when you make art at 4 am, you are hereby warned kids ;)

Saturday, June 10, 2006

DIABLO!

Have, I have just gotten Diablo 2, Lord of destruction.
Its scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaary!!!!!!!!!!!!
If somebody feel like playing online with me give me a shout! Yay!

Moon River | Audrey Hepburn | Henry Mancini

A classical beauty, from a classic of a movie, that I love; Breakfast at Tiffanys
Popularity-contests

Today I got the following mail:
Congratulations. You've been chosen for the 'Hot List'; according to our matching algorithm, you're currently one of the 2500 most desirable people on OkCupid.
The complete list is here:
http://www.okcupid.com/hotlist

We're only distributing the Hot List to the people on it--as part of our ongoing effort to pair people perfectly, we're figuring one attractive person deserves another.
Huzzah,
OkCupid

After flipping through it I was definitely left with a strong feeling of being disgusted
Is this thing turning into a meat market or was it like that all the time?
What will the next thing be? Popular-lists? We are the coolest-clubs?
Do we always need to "classify" and make life a contest?
When did dating become "nazi"?
I got the same feeling I used to get when they were picking out teams for football in highschool.
Is life supposed to be an everlasting highschool?
What happened to seeing people, not packages?
I am getting off this thing

xxx

Aasa

Friday, June 09, 2006

I seem to have changed Un-category again. Before I was left-wing utopia


The Nomadic Peoples of Jump-land

"Do as you like, with no harm to anyone "

UN Category: Liberal Democratic Socialists

The Nomadic Peoples of Jump-land is a very large, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its devotion to social welfare. Its compassionate, intelligent population of 177 million love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

Want to try this game too?
[Create a Nation]
A speech that never seems to die or be irrelevant
Even though we can wish that some time in the future
this fight will reach its goal

Thursday, June 08, 2006

A new blog has arrived, from a very intelligent, interesting and cool guy
Its just in the beginning phase, but I am expecting a lot of
smart and possibly also smartass things from this guy...
Check it out people!

New contest!

It seems like me an friend of mine here in Barcelona have started
an accidental new contest. The "who looks the shittiest on photos contest.
I think we both won.

















Photo taken by Jesus (no, not that Jesus, hehe. Its a common name here in Spain)
















An other photo entering the very same contest. Aasa in action taking photos with her very special "I am concentrating my ass of to take this image"- face
Extremely sexy? No? Winks ;)

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Just some thought I have been through lately
~ Aasa

The Phantom / The Dracul / The shadow

The famous psychologist Carl Gustav Jung called it "The shadow" - the unconscious/repressed darker sides in the human psyche. In endless fairytales and stories we meet it as a person, a force or a symbol,- the earthly manifestation of the darkness within, our inner demon.
The
Dracul is maybe one of the more famous of these symbols. And facing the Dracul is a very old story, with roots in medieval times. Battling him, or killing him is a myth repeated in different versions, with different storylines, but it has never seized to fascinate humankind.The Greeks had Hades, stealing Persephone down to his dark kingdom once a year. From modern times, we have the musical Phantom of the opera, taking the young and fair Christine into his hidden world of darkness, deep down in the catacombs.

Humans have always been forced to fight battles with their own darkness.
The inner Dracul that leaves us in despair, that metaphorically can suck out our blood, our very will for life. And we have always been dealing with it in different ways, individually. Some with repression, some by fleeing, and some directly, by facing it or killing it. Although it can come in many forms, the story that always seem to penetrate into the world of tales is most often the direct battle, the confrontation with the demon inside.
Choosing not to run from inner demons is according to modern psychology one of the most important steps into recovery. But in doing so, one very often meets new difficulties, as if just facing the demon wasn´t enough.
In darkness there also lies a lot of strength, or at at least these personal energies can feel or look very much like exactly that, and many people have got lost in it. In darkness lies aggression, in darkness lies negativity, feelings that can give an illusion of power. to the subject experiencing them 

more covert and less direct ways of dealing with this inner darkness is feeling sorry for ourselves, and through this feeling we can similar to the more direct ways, also gain a feeling of power through importance, focus and self pity.
These things can create a paradox when facing the darker side. Something in us might also be drawn to it, this "evil within", it can make us feel strong or important.
We can easily observe such elements in several myths concerning the theme. In "The phantom of the opera", Christine has to fight an attraction towards the phantom - he holds a strong power over her. In the end she still succeeds freeing herslef from this dark symol. Why?

It is an important to understand the "positive" that can come through our inner darkness, so we can transform these illusory feelings of power into real strength and personal growth

Excerpt from "The Phantom Of The Opera" 
Christine has been kidnapped by the phantom down to his dark catacombs. Here he has also taken prisoner "Raol", which is the positive male figure of the story, the Phantom, the the dark male figure battles with, for the heart of Christine.
.
PHANTOM:
Down once more to the dungeon of my black
despair!
Down we plunge to the prison of my mind!
Down...that path into darkness deep as hell!
Why, you ask, was I
bound and chained to this cold and dismal place?

CHRISTINE:
....
Pitiful creature of
darkness, what kind of life have you known?
God, give me courage to show you you are not alone...
(she kisses him)

PHANTOM:
Take her… Forget me… Forget all of this… Leave
me alone… Forget all you've seen…
Go now… don't let them find you! Take the boat… Swear to me never to tell
The secret you know of the angel in hell! Go… Go now, go now
and leave me!
Christine, I love you...

CHRISTINE:(To Raol)
Say you'll share with me, one love, one lifetime

RAOUL:
Say the word and I will follow you...

CHRISTINE:
Share each day with me each night, each
morning...

PHANTOM:
You alone can make my song
take flight
It's over now, the music of the
night...
Christines story is not unlike many others. In giving love to the Phantom, she releases him and ther bound is broken. And through receiving her love the Phantom changes. He releases her of his tightening, controlling grip. But the phantom is just a symbol of her own inner darkness.
The inner truggle for Christine in this movies, is not just the fight with her innner darkr sides, but also the need and want to rescue and save The Phantom. A well known theme for people in the grips of their own subconscious darkness, which they must face to become free. And this need is often just a projection, a reflection of their own deeper need of wanting to be rescued themselves.
(This might not even be conscious, but shows itself in a pattern of love relationships that exists as fantasy projections, and therefore shatters after some time)
In other words, the woman in the grips of her own subconscious darkness needs to choose herself and rescue herself, and draw back her out projection of rescuing someone else.Then, in facing, loving and accepting her darker sides and "distorted parts", she is also freed from them. The darkness disolves with the light of love.

In the story of the Phantom, Christine also sees his true face and the distortions which lies there. The mask of the phantom falls, but she still accepts it. There is no judgement in seeing the ugliness of his darkness, she shows him love and compassion.
Maybe this is the hidden theme for many of these stories. To tell us how important and stranforming it is to accept and acknowledge the darker sides in our minds, in our fellow humans and in our society. And that trying to pretend it is not there will always just strengthen it and make it grow to a larger Dracul or a phantom.

Still - common for all these stories is a solution that is never easy to find,  an easy-fix is not an option. It is a long and hard process to face our own demons, it is a task of a lifetime. And only to love and accept is never enough to give the "cure".
As nature and also old tales shows us, these stories also holds the truth of a atural balance in everything,- to switch between darkness and light - summer and winter. Persephone needs to be taken down to Hades every winter, so the plants will die. But she returns again in spring, bringing life back to the planet. This theme is also repeated again and again through the history of mythology and tales. It is a call in nature, the high and low of the tides, the phases of the moon,the yin and yang...it is an archetype, and a pattern in the human psyche.

"In sleep he sang to me
In dreams he came
That voice which calls to me
and speaks my name
and do I dream again - for now i find
the phantom of the opera is here
inside my mind"

It is not a dream
. He is in all our minds, and we are forced to deal with it, in the manner we choose to. But nevertheless we must deal with it. And if we come through it or not is an other story.
We all carry some darkness inside, it is as old as human wars. And maybe duality exists so it can be experienced. For there would be no light without the shadow.