David from OKC wrote a poem for me
That made me feel better
Daylight opens on its lucid singing bands of bliss
She digs a little deeper in the fertile loam and lays her hands on buried dreams
She has answered a thousand questions few have dared to conveive
And breathed life into her vision both outside her beating heart
and in the silent spaces of receptive revelation between
Ahhh the clear water stream flows cascading from springs on high
Her soul longs to trace every tributary to its source
But her body will simply bend, open her lips and drink the mystery
A bard, a blessing, a bountiful feast awaits her around the next corner..
She has friends in every town...allies in every glade
Now it is time to dance
With painted feet
Now it is time to harvest stillness in the shade
One word occurs to her then and there:
Sweetness...
Her pain, her passion, her poetic spirit
All...defined by rivers of magic...
And why?
Because something unrelenting within her will submit to nothing less...
Unrelenting focus on what is actually alive and vital and real.
That's what wells up from the the cold depths of her Earthly roots.
That's what turns into pure sunfire as it pours through her awakened heart...
The stars blanket the sky. Burning suns of 15 Billion years...
Her eyes are translators for the creative power that lights that sky
Her voice a conduit for the truth
Her body a vehicle for a life lived to its fullest
Her soul a resovoir of beauty
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Some Thoughts On A blue Day
I am down
I miss my old friends and family
I miss having somebody to trust by my side
I wake up in the morning missing having somebody to kiss and tell my weird dream to
People think its all fun and easy starting over in a new contry, but I have never found it to be so
Its difficult having to think hard every time you want to speak, becaue its not your motherlanguage.
Its difficult being alone in a place that is all new to you
Its difficult when everything is unknown and nothing feels comforting and safe
I am bordering on a depression now and I just feel like I need a really long and good hug and some comforting words whispered in my ear, but I am all alone.
Yes I am alone, and I feel even more alone here in Spain.
But after many years of seeing that for some reason love seems like a more difficult path for me to find, I have made peace with the thought that I might very well end up alone.
That is okay. I have so many weird ways and strange standards, fears and passions that I have trouble seeing something lasting by my side or somebody really understanding me or being able to give what I want (I can be very demanding in my way) and receive all I give (cause when I start to get interested in someone I sometimes I give "too much" of myself)
In many ways I love being alone too, but in many ways I dont.
I am a weird combination of fears and trust, independance and need , strenght and weakness love and flight and I just whished somebody would get it, but the hope I have has become very small through the years.
So, I guess I will come through this, as I always do.
And get my good mood back, which I am so used to having, but which seem to have dissapeared in the air of Spain.
And the inner strenght I felt so well, the feeling of being me, which pumped so steady through my wains, but no is a soft whisper I beary can hear.
I miss my old friends and family
I miss having somebody to trust by my side
I wake up in the morning missing having somebody to kiss and tell my weird dream to
People think its all fun and easy starting over in a new contry, but I have never found it to be so
Its difficult having to think hard every time you want to speak, becaue its not your motherlanguage.
Its difficult being alone in a place that is all new to you
Its difficult when everything is unknown and nothing feels comforting and safe
I am bordering on a depression now and I just feel like I need a really long and good hug and some comforting words whispered in my ear, but I am all alone.
Yes I am alone, and I feel even more alone here in Spain.
But after many years of seeing that for some reason love seems like a more difficult path for me to find, I have made peace with the thought that I might very well end up alone.
That is okay. I have so many weird ways and strange standards, fears and passions that I have trouble seeing something lasting by my side or somebody really understanding me or being able to give what I want (I can be very demanding in my way) and receive all I give (cause when I start to get interested in someone I sometimes I give "too much" of myself)
In many ways I love being alone too, but in many ways I dont.
I am a weird combination of fears and trust, independance and need , strenght and weakness love and flight and I just whished somebody would get it, but the hope I have has become very small through the years.
So, I guess I will come through this, as I always do.
And get my good mood back, which I am so used to having, but which seem to have dissapeared in the air of Spain.
And the inner strenght I felt so well, the feeling of being me, which pumped so steady through my wains, but no is a soft whisper I beary can hear.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Very Random Thoughts and the beginning of a story
Barcelona doesnt feel like home yet, I hope it will
I miss good milk
I am silly and happy for no reason whatsoever now and then, it feels very good
I will soon get my computer (In a week)
I am thinking I will run out of money (I have to get a job)
Spanish is dificult to spaek but easy to understand
I am daydreaming a lot
I have this dream in my mind:
I am walking barefoot at night. Its a bright, crispy, but yet dark night and the stars seem to chin like little pieces of glass frozen to the sky.
I can feel the grass tickeling my feet and the ground gently caressing them.
I am walking in a park and the smell of pinetrees (yes, they have those in parks here) and flowers soround me and cover me like a soft transparent blanket.
Suddenly my eyes is drawn to a huge tree that stands out from the others. It has a beautiful color, and it nearly seems to shine towards me as I look at it. I get the feeling that I could spend hours and hours in this tree, curled upon its big, safe branches.
I feel like a soft calling coming from it and I walk up to it instantly.
Then I notice something just benath the trunk of it. It is a couple of glasses and a bottle og wine. I reach down, very puzzeled, wondering who has placed it there.
When I bend down to take a better look I also find a card, attached to the bottle of wine................
To be continued
Maybe ;)
I miss good milk
I am silly and happy for no reason whatsoever now and then, it feels very good
I will soon get my computer (In a week)
I am thinking I will run out of money (I have to get a job)
Spanish is dificult to spaek but easy to understand
I am daydreaming a lot
I have this dream in my mind:
I am walking barefoot at night. Its a bright, crispy, but yet dark night and the stars seem to chin like little pieces of glass frozen to the sky.
I can feel the grass tickeling my feet and the ground gently caressing them.
I am walking in a park and the smell of pinetrees (yes, they have those in parks here) and flowers soround me and cover me like a soft transparent blanket.
Suddenly my eyes is drawn to a huge tree that stands out from the others. It has a beautiful color, and it nearly seems to shine towards me as I look at it. I get the feeling that I could spend hours and hours in this tree, curled upon its big, safe branches.
I feel like a soft calling coming from it and I walk up to it instantly.
Then I notice something just benath the trunk of it. It is a couple of glasses and a bottle og wine. I reach down, very puzzeled, wondering who has placed it there.
When I bend down to take a better look I also find a card, attached to the bottle of wine................
To be continued
Maybe ;)
Saturday, October 15, 2005
This was fun
Key Areas of your Personality :
Your personality stands out from the average person's particularly in the areas of:
- Your High Curiosity Level
- Your High Emotional Reactivity Level
- Your High Multi-tasking Ability
- Your High Need for Variety
- Your High Empathy/ Sensitivity Level
Social Need 70%
Openness 78%
Approval Need 63%
Ability to Focus 22%
Emotionality 81%
Reliance on Intuition 76%
Tolerance for Change 77%
LINK to personality test
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Post!
Oh, i am so happy
Today I got my first post in Barcelona.
And even more bliss, I got 4 things.
One package (from somebody who doesnt read this blog), one postcard , one letter with a cd and one other letter as well.
Thank you soo much for the postcard Marlies, it was really sweet, and I was so surprised. And the lovely letter with the owl drawing, I just loved it Caru! And the letter and the CD Paal, very cool, thank you, I am really looking forward to listen to it!!!!
I was smiling from ear to ear today!
:)
Aasa
Today I got my first post in Barcelona.
And even more bliss, I got 4 things.
One package (from somebody who doesnt read this blog), one postcard , one letter with a cd and one other letter as well.
Thank you soo much for the postcard Marlies, it was really sweet, and I was so surprised. And the lovely letter with the owl drawing, I just loved it Caru! And the letter and the CD Paal, very cool, thank you, I am really looking forward to listen to it!!!!
I was smiling from ear to ear today!
:)
Aasa
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Kampen
This is a very badly taken photo, but I wanted to post it anyway.
It is the street were I grew up in Oslo, Kampen, in the old part of the city.
It is the street were I grew up in Oslo, Kampen, in the old part of the city.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Kindergarten
Before I came to Barcelona I worked in a kindergarten for a while. I was looking at some photos from there the other day and I felt how much I miss some of those kids. They were just increadible.
Here you can get a little peep into my day there and why I loved them so much.
An increadibly sweet girl named Aster. When I said I was going to cuit she said "But who is going to play with me and be nice to me then?"
I look like shit in this pic, but Aster looked so sweet and it was a good memory, so I had to include it
Julie and Georg. The first love
One of our little troublemakers and sharmers (he skwirted wather on my right after I took this with the watergun - almost on my camera)
Jacob was only allowed to sleep for 20 min after dinner. He always looked like this then, which made broke my heart every time (cause I had to wake him up when he dozed off, which was around 100 times)
Nataniel and Georg. they were always up to something nasty, something I found really cool. (Dont think the others working there agreed with me, he he)
The worried parent
Edda was always like this, full of energy and smiling. It is so lovely to see a child that is truly secure and who feels loved
Kristian and some other boys. I often played "police and thief" with Kristian, which was his favourite game. I was always the thief
I totally adore this boy, julian, he often played "police and thief" togheter with me and Kristian (me and him being the horrible thieves)
Julian and Amanda posing for me
A very wild, sweet and natural girl named Sofie. Here playing hide and seek with me
Here you can get a little peep into my day there and why I loved them so much.
An increadibly sweet girl named Aster. When I said I was going to cuit she said "But who is going to play with me and be nice to me then?"
I look like shit in this pic, but Aster looked so sweet and it was a good memory, so I had to include it
Julie and Georg. The first love
One of our little troublemakers and sharmers (he skwirted wather on my right after I took this with the watergun - almost on my camera)
Jacob was only allowed to sleep for 20 min after dinner. He always looked like this then, which made broke my heart every time (cause I had to wake him up when he dozed off, which was around 100 times)
Nataniel and Georg. they were always up to something nasty, something I found really cool. (Dont think the others working there agreed with me, he he)
The worried parent
Edda was always like this, full of energy and smiling. It is so lovely to see a child that is truly secure and who feels loved
Kristian and some other boys. I often played "police and thief" with Kristian, which was his favourite game. I was always the thief
I totally adore this boy, julian, he often played "police and thief" togheter with me and Kristian (me and him being the horrible thieves)
Julian and Amanda posing for me
A very wild, sweet and natural girl named Sofie. Here playing hide and seek with me
Friday, October 07, 2005
Lists 7: 10 random tings I have done in Barcelona
1: Got totally lost
2: Climbed a Spanish tree
3: Slept 14 hours nonstop
4: Got toally lost again
5: Got buzzy on wine at 1 pm
6: Walked with no purpose or direction until my feet was hurting
7: Ran through the streets with a supermarket shopping-trolley
8: Starting to read the "strangest" old classics in books, like "Jane Eyre" (There is not a huge selection of books in English)
9: Been repeatedly hit on through my apartment-add by different guys
10: Asked around 35 people for directions
2: Climbed a Spanish tree
3: Slept 14 hours nonstop
4: Got toally lost again
5: Got buzzy on wine at 1 pm
6: Walked with no purpose or direction until my feet was hurting
7: Ran through the streets with a supermarket shopping-trolley
8: Starting to read the "strangest" old classics in books, like "Jane Eyre" (There is not a huge selection of books in English)
9: Been repeatedly hit on through my apartment-add by different guys
10: Asked around 35 people for directions
Funny, but is it right?
| You Are Coffee Ice Cream |
 You're doing a million things at once and doing them well. You tend to motivate others and raise spirits. You are most compatible with chocolate ice cream. |
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Correction
The correct address is:
Asa Bergem (With a circle or a dot over the first A)
Carrer de Córsega 251 , 3 (and then the little cirle over the 3 wich indicates it is 3rd)
08036 Barcelona
Not Calle
(I forgot its supposed to be Catalan, not Castellano)
I am buying a computer to have at home soon, so then this blog will get a little more lively and updated, he he
:)
Aasa
Asa Bergem (With a circle or a dot over the first A)
Carrer de Córsega 251 , 3 (and then the little cirle over the 3 wich indicates it is 3rd)
08036 Barcelona
Not Calle
(I forgot its supposed to be Catalan, not Castellano)
I am buying a computer to have at home soon, so then this blog will get a little more lively and updated, he he
:)
Aasa
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
The lotusflower
Personally I belive that we all learn from life in all kinds of situations.
Especially in hard times I feel that life can be closer to me than ever.
Through those times I see my soul being transformed and shaped in deeper waters.
I think something picturing this in a beautiful way in nature is the lotus.
The lotus is a flower that blooms in the mud. The thicker and deeper the mud, the more beautiful the lotus blooms.
YOU SHALL THANK
You shall thank your gods,
if they force you to go
where you have no footprints
to trust to.
You shall thank your gods,
if all shame on you they pin.
You must seek refuge
a little further in.
What the whole world condemns
sometimes manages quite well.
Outlaws were many
who gained their own soul.
He who is forced to wild wood
looks on all with new sight,
and he tastes with gratitude
life's bread and salt.
You shall thank your gods,
when your shell they break.
Reality and kernel
the sole choice you can make.
~Karin Boye
Especially in hard times I feel that life can be closer to me than ever.
Through those times I see my soul being transformed and shaped in deeper waters.
I think something picturing this in a beautiful way in nature is the lotus.
The lotus is a flower that blooms in the mud. The thicker and deeper the mud, the more beautiful the lotus blooms.
YOU SHALL THANK
You shall thank your gods,
if they force you to go
where you have no footprints
to trust to.
You shall thank your gods,
if all shame on you they pin.
You must seek refuge
a little further in.
What the whole world condemns
sometimes manages quite well.
Outlaws were many
who gained their own soul.
He who is forced to wild wood
looks on all with new sight,
and he tastes with gratitude
life's bread and salt.
You shall thank your gods,
when your shell they break.
Reality and kernel
the sole choice you can make.
~Karin Boye
Address
Now here is my address in case any of you feel like sending me something nice (hint hint)
Aasa Bergem
Calle Corsega 251
08036 Barcelona
I have a housephone, if you want the number its just to ask me (If you are someone you think I would like to talk to ;)
Aasa Bergem
Calle Corsega 251
08036 Barcelona
I have a housephone, if you want the number its just to ask me (If you are someone you think I would like to talk to ;)
AMOR FATI
I get times when I feel like the loneliest little soul in a world full of people.
I get times when I feel like the world is complete and life has a wonderfull meening
I get times when people seem cruel and evil and I just want to hide.
I get times when I am scared, but I am never scared of fear itself
I get times when I just want to laugh because there is so much beauty - and laughter makes it even more beautiful
I demand nothing
I require nothing
There are no bonds or strings
I just keep my heart open
to what life let come my way
I just want to live it
I open myself to all of the wonders of life and try to make no value judgements on it.
Fear, love, rejection, laughter, play, thought, sadness, pain.
They all strengtens us in differnt ways, none or better than the other.
To accept life, is to embrace life.
There is a poem I really like by Andre Bjerke about this. I din´t find a translation, but if somebody are interested - just tell me and I will try to make one to you
Best whishes to all of you out there
:)
~Aasa
AMOR FATI:
Ikke som en cæsar gjorde,
skal du med et sverd bevæbne
deg mot verden, men med ordet;
Amor Fati - elsk din skjebne.
Denne formel skal du fatte
som din sterkeste befrier:
Du har valgt din sti i krattet.
Ikke skjel mot andre stier!
Også smerten er din tjener.
Lammet, sønderknust, elendig
ser du at den gjenforener
deg med det som er nødvendig.
Også fallet, også sviket
hjelper deg som dine venner.
Dine nederlag er rike
gaver, lagt i dine hender.
Engang skal du, tilfredsstillet
av å bli din skjebne verdig
vite: Dette har jeg villet.
Alt som skjer meg skjer rettferdig.
Si da, når din levegledes
grønne skog er gjennomvandret:
Intet vil jeg anderledes.
Intet ønsker jeg forandret.
~Andre Bjerke
I get times when I feel like the world is complete and life has a wonderfull meening
I get times when people seem cruel and evil and I just want to hide.
I get times when I am scared, but I am never scared of fear itself
I get times when I just want to laugh because there is so much beauty - and laughter makes it even more beautiful
I demand nothing
I require nothing
There are no bonds or strings
I just keep my heart open
to what life let come my way
I just want to live it
I open myself to all of the wonders of life and try to make no value judgements on it.
Fear, love, rejection, laughter, play, thought, sadness, pain.
They all strengtens us in differnt ways, none or better than the other.
To accept life, is to embrace life.
There is a poem I really like by Andre Bjerke about this. I din´t find a translation, but if somebody are interested - just tell me and I will try to make one to you
Best whishes to all of you out there
:)
~Aasa
AMOR FATI:
Ikke som en cæsar gjorde,
skal du med et sverd bevæbne
deg mot verden, men med ordet;
Amor Fati - elsk din skjebne.
Denne formel skal du fatte
som din sterkeste befrier:
Du har valgt din sti i krattet.
Ikke skjel mot andre stier!
Også smerten er din tjener.
Lammet, sønderknust, elendig
ser du at den gjenforener
deg med det som er nødvendig.
Også fallet, også sviket
hjelper deg som dine venner.
Dine nederlag er rike
gaver, lagt i dine hender.
Engang skal du, tilfredsstillet
av å bli din skjebne verdig
vite: Dette har jeg villet.
Alt som skjer meg skjer rettferdig.
Si da, når din levegledes
grønne skog er gjennomvandret:
Intet vil jeg anderledes.
Intet ønsker jeg forandret.
~Andre Bjerke
This was a sweet test.
This was a sweet test - you should try it out......
Oh, and can somebody please tell me what untrammeled means???
(Couldnt find it in any dictionary)
Aasa - Here Are The Keys to Your Heart |
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are both exciting and alluring. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you will never fall for it easily. |
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Heya people!
Just a short message to the world, I dont have much time
-I am in the flat but still looking at others, cause I would love to have a park nearby (So I can climb trees at night)
-The flat I am in now has a guestrom with a bed (wink,wink)
-I started school yesterday, a little disapointing, but I am not going to make snap judgements before I have more information.
-I am eating loads of croissants (the are so damn delicios) and fresh fruit.
... looking at my posts you might think I am a littel obsessed with food. If you are making quick judgements like these often I must warn you ; you might be very right! (Especially in this case, although it never shows on me, I never gain weight)
- I am all good and still in love with Barcelona
Hugs to all of you
xxx
Aasa
-I am in the flat but still looking at others, cause I would love to have a park nearby (So I can climb trees at night)
-The flat I am in now has a guestrom with a bed (wink,wink)
-I started school yesterday, a little disapointing, but I am not going to make snap judgements before I have more information.
-I am eating loads of croissants (the are so damn delicios) and fresh fruit.
... looking at my posts you might think I am a littel obsessed with food. If you are making quick judgements like these often I must warn you ; you might be very right! (Especially in this case, although it never shows on me, I never gain weight)
- I am all good and still in love with Barcelona
Hugs to all of you
xxx
Aasa
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Room
Oh, by the way.............
I found a room in a shared flat with one guy named Julien. (I seem to bump into a lot of Julian or Julien or Julen these days, ha ha, funny!)
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!!!!!!!!!
It was a big room with balcony, double bed that was beautiful with wooden carvings, internet-connection, my own little gesturing and it was very close to my school
- for 350 Euros a month
....But it was not in the gothic area.
I am going to rent I for a month and see how I like it and how I like sharing with him, he seemed like a very nice guy.
Walking around
I seem to have gotten a new weird habit
I just walk and walk and walk.
Not that I haven't done that before but I have a new pattern to it.
In the mornings I jump out of my door and my desperate eyes search for something pretty. (I am not talking about guys now) Then they usually fix upon some strange and wonderful "art nouveauish" architecture and my feet seem to be pulled as a magnet in that direction.
When my feet arrive in front of it my eyes goes into a new mode of desperate search (after they have devouvered the sight of the first one) and my feet obeys as a a pair of loving little puppies every time.
This has led me into some weird neighborhoods where I feel like the famous cat climbing a tree...I have no idea whatsoever have to get back down to where I was.
This again has led to me getting to know some new people. In general very compassionate saving kinda people, who seem to have a soft spot for foreigners standing in the middle of a street with a perplexed gaze in their eyes, looking around them in a confused manner, and walking in circles around themselves, whispering "Oh my, oh my, oh my, where the fuck am I?"
Well, yesterday this new hobby of mine led me to a completely new side of Barcelona. I was walking the cute little alleys with loudry hanging from the balconies and little (I love them) cheese shops, when suddenly the environment around me had seemed to change.
I had a distinct feeling that a lot of the people around me were kinda suspicious in motives, or to say it in other words, I felt like 90 percent of them were carrying guns.
also there were a lot of salsa and merengue played from the open windows. I had the feeling it was a good idea to hold tight to my purse and look totally penniless (if there is a facial expression I have rehearsed a lot its the "I am sooo broke, and have nothing valuable to steal" face) Not because of the Salsa and Merengue (Salsa has never been dangerous, except in circumstances involving a dancefloor, a place packed with horny, voyeuristic men and a single girl with a hurt ankle (that would be me), but because of the atmosphere, that certainly screamed "watch out" to my subconsciousness.(The very same message seemed to be lurking in my mind during the earlier mentioned "Salsa experience")
This neighborhood was a lot dirtier and people were singing out loud to themselves while passing me. (A "normal" Norwegian person would be shocked to their very core. Believe me, I know by experience, and looks I have been thrown in Norway)
Some guys whisteled and winked at me and made obscene gestures.
This felt very very familiar, but I wasn't sure why. It was like I had been there before a lot of times.
Then it struck me, it was like a "mini Caribbean".
It was funny, I wasn't scared at all. (as I think would be the response of a lot of foreign people entering this district) I kinda felt at home for a while, remembering the good days (when I was robbed 4 times in 8 months) in the Dominican republic.
Ahhhh, sweet memories
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